If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.�


(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)�

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?�
Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,'�
--�Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest�.�
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'Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.'�
--Mariah Carey�
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'Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.'�
--�Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.�
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'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.'�
--�Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.�
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'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.'�
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC
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'That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.'�
--A congressional candidate in Texas�
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'Half this game is ninety percent mental.'�
--Philadel phia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark�
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'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'�
--Al Gore, Vice President�
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'I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix '�
--�Dan Quayle while campaigning
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'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?'�
--Lee Iacocca�
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'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'�
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.�
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'We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.'�
--�Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor�.�
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'Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.'
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina�
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'Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas.'�
--Keppel Enderbery�
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'If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.'�
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman�
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Feeling smarter yet?�

Very nice, I love the Mariah Carey one. :D

Hilarious. It's amazing those words actualy come out of peoples mouths.

It's the thought process that amazes me.

I don't think they have a thought process. They are too used to remembering their lines or the words to a song to even think.

Interesting this came up today. One of the quotes on my Google portal seemed to be about this very subject:

I had an epiphany a few years ago where I was out at a celebrity party and it suddenly dawned on me that I had yet to meet a celebrity who is as smart and interesting as any of my friends.
- Moby

Mariah, Mariah, Mariah :doh:

'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'�
--Al Gore, Vice President�
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that's f'n stup!d

cool tread though

Celebrity intelligence = oxymoron

talk about having brain in gear before engaging mouth :ohwell:

talk about having brain in gear before engaging mouth :ohwell:

I think they do, but the clutch is slipping... a lot! :lol:

no, no, no, no why the hell did greenville have to be included. Geez between the Sanford scandal and everything else Im actually considering fleeing the state.

a few years back my wife and I were watching the olympics and the chinese won a medal. when they were up on the podium playing the chinese national anthem, my wife asked me "what is that music they are playing?" and i told her that was the chinese national anthem. she got the strangest look on her face and seriously asked me "you mean the other countries of the world dont have our national anthem?" well as you can imagine i was busting up laughing by this point and she asked me why. i just looked at her and said "honey, you just confirmed every blond joke in history." a few years after that she was in a 30 minute arguement with me that honey came from honeysuckle plants!! thats why i keep her around, its great entertainment lol.

the sad part of the story is, at the time she was a 3rd grade teacher! i talked her into getting out of teaching shortly after that, for the sake of the children.

My wife's a redhead, but she has the wonderful blond moments too :) I love her so much for them!

aint it great? my wife isn't really much of a blond any more, but she still has her moments. you just cant buy entertainment like that.

aint it great? my wife isn't really much of a blond any more, but she still has her moments. you just cant buy entertainment like that.

They never lose their touch.

I think they do, but the clutch is slipping... a lot! :lol:

:rotflmao:

no, no, no, no why the hell did greenville have to be included. Geez between the Sanford scandal and everything else Im actually considering fleeing the state.

hehehe

My mom, who still lives in Spartanburg, SC sent me this same list on a email a while back and highlighted the one from G'ville.

And I still get asked by my friends and family when I am moving back to SC. :rotflmao:
Another reason to stay in Paradise.

nb

'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'�
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.�

bhuauauaua, this is the best one of the bunch ! LOL... And since it's sports related it just makes it even more funny, lol!