[jkv45]

A couple suggestions based on what you have told us lately -

Really think about what you would like to be doing for a job (career really) in the future. Maybe take some night classes or something to get you headed in that direction. Learning and moving towards a goal is going to help you feel better about yourself. Doing something that is in conflict with your self-image will always cause you stress.

Get rid of the "comfy thermal shirt that used to be his". It may make you feel better in the short term, but it's something that you need to let go of to be happy in the long term. It's a reminder of a time in your life that you have moved beyond, and it pulls you in - then lets you drop.

You can pull yourself up and be happy.