New one from yesterday:
My battery had been dead for a good 2-3 days. I took the advice of Adrian (Adri99an) and rode it down hill. It started but kept sputtering and feeling like it was ready to die again. I rode around my town for a short while, and when I was roughly 2-3 miles away from my house, the bike randomly died. You can read more of this story in a bit when I post it in the off-topic section.
Anyway, here's where the funny bit starts.
As I'm walking my bike up hill, cars zooming past me, some slowing down to look at me, but nobody actually offering to help, I noticed a homeless guy pushing a shopping cart with a car battery in it. He was running towards me from a few blocks away. I stopped pushing my bike and waited to see what this guy wanted. As he got closer, he began walking, trying to catch his breath.
Him: You ok, man?
Me: Yes, sir.
Him: What happened?
Me: The stupid @ss battery died.
Him: Ah, damn! I got one right here! *points to the battery in his shopping cart*
Me: Oh, cool. I think that is a bit too big for my bike.
Him: Do you need help?
Me: Oh, no. I'm all right, sir. Thanks, though.
Him: What bike is this? The Ninja?
Me: Why, yes it is actually.
Him: Nice. I'm gonna buy a GSXR.
Me: Cool.