[gfloyd2002]

Option one: They are using mobbing tactic as groups of birds chase away a potential predator. Your bike is certainly more threatening than a Hyosung. Take it as a compliment and thank God that elephants don't fly. To resolve: Park next to a liter bike, which are far more threatening and usually driven by jerks who deserve to be pooped on. (Hell, I'm tempted to crap on liter bikes I see.) Consider a scarecrow.

Option two: In a previous life, you were worshipped as Beausaviataxl, Mayan goddess of nature, who was able to summon the very birds from the skies to do her bidding. Perhaps these modern birds don't understand that you're not her, and are simply trying to please you with their sacred offerings? To resolve: Chant in ancient Mayan language to the birds to let them know you've moved on, and don't need the offerings. Consider a scarecrow.

Option three: Birds crap a lot. They usually crap below what they are sitting on. Your bike is under a tree/ledge/wire and the others aren't under that same tree/ledge/wire. Or they are sitting on your bike because it is near food/water and shiny or they like your mirrors and enjoy looking at themselves. To resolve: Move your bike, cover your bike and/or fold in your mirrors. Consider a scarecrow.

Option four: It is the banking system and the conservative establishment's fault. Damn that Palin and the rest of the 1%! To resolve: Occupy your local city, using corporate products to promote the event while wearing sweatshop made Chinese T-shirts.