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for the d-bag who almost clipped you, just a toot on the horn and a finger work well, imo. no need to stare them down. Keep your eyes ahead of you.
as for the merge, you'll have the same issues in a car. some people just don't look, or don't really check thoroughly enough.
Most people drive a car in a reactionary form, bike riders need to be proactive. I tend to drive proactively even in my car, which has definitely helped my awareness on a bike. small little things, like being able to tell if someone is going to merge by keeping their side view mirror in your peripheral, help. If you see ANY movement in their side view (twist of the head, movement of the head, looking up, etc.), assume they're going to merge into you.
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