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I think you are looking in the wrong place. Try tapered roller steering head bearings.
$45 and they cure the steering problems inherent on these EX250 based bikes. By 1000 miles my 300 bearings were shot. The whole bike got loose. I did a thread here somewhere on it.
If you are hell bent on a shock, I recommend searching for my thread about fitting a GSXR 600/750 rear shock, get the correct spring and have it valved for your weight.
You mentioned you measured sag, and it is correct. This would mean that the spring is fine for you. Like I said, I think you are going in the wrong direction searching for a solution.
I also dropped in fork emulators by Race Tech, but I'm 200 lbs. Still, with adjustments for you they will help the front end tremendously. I don't think that is your problem either.
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