[Sailariel]

I think that Andrew hit the nail on the head. It is all dependent on the circumstances. Can a person care for an elderly parent without doing harm?

I have an MSW with a certification in Gerontology and have worked with mentally ill geriatric patients for 20 years. The nursing home question always comes up. There are nursing homes that are the pits, and there are nursing homes that are like a resort. Most fall somewhere in between.

My wife and I took care of her parents for seven years. We built a totally handicap accessible addition to our house (My Master's Thesis was on Barrier Free Environments for the Elderly) Our lives changed, and the marriage was at times stressed, but we have no regrets. Her parents were at times nursing home material--and during those times we utilized home health care. I developed a good case of tendonitis moving her dad to the table. That went away with some physical therapy.

I do ascribe to the Asian way. I like Asian food, and almost everything Asian. Even though it was during the war, I felt comfortable in Vietnam. I really like the people and had to some degree an advantage over my fellow soldiers because I spoke French.

In Eldercare one can get over their head--I am thinking in particular of a person with Altzheimers who becomes violent.

It is a dilemma that people will face at least once in their lives.