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thats the torque wrench i use. I have a better more expensive one, but it doesnt have a low enough setting for the bolts. I would use it if you arent sure of the right amount of pressure. If you are like me and only use a rear stand, the wrench is too long to tighten the drain plug anyhow... I torque up the oil filter to spec, and then go by how that felt to do the drain plug.
As for the washer, you will be able to tell by looking at it. My first change I didnt bother, because I did the oil early so it still looked fine. After having the oil done at a shop when I took her in for her first check up, everything was overtightened, my o rings hadnt been changed and were squished, and I could tell that the washer needed replacing (and I need to find a new shop!)
good luck!
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