[ninjabrewer]

Yesterday
> I was at my local Costco buying a couple of large bags
> of Kirkland Dog Food for our Greyhounds, Sheena, Spice, Angel, &
Smoke and was
> in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
> What did she think I had, an elephant?
> So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I
didn't have a dog, I was starting the Costco Kirkland Diet again. I added that
I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd
lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an in tensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.I told her that it was
essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants
pockets with Costco kirkland nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you
feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going
to try it again. (I have to mention here that
> practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt
and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world
to think of crazy things to say.