Quote:
Originally Posted by Poddelniy Russki
Even at .17 BAC, I hadn't drank a lot at all by my standards (four beers, three shots, and one of those hard iced teas over a seven hour period), but what I had forgotten is that I had completely stopped drinking a few months back after 5 years of alcoholism, so my tolerance was back to zero.
|
This is a telling statement. It is implicit here that you believe that if you drink "not a lot by your standards" and have a "tolerance" built up you can safely drink and ride.
Don't you believe that for one second.
You've already learned a hard lesson but by the way that is worded plus other statements (e.g. "stopped drinking a few months back after five years of alcoholism" you decided to drink anyway, "I know not to drink when I'm upset but I did anyway," etc.), I doubt it's sunk in.
This is a zero-tolerance game that rewards calm focus and clear thinking. It also punishes thoughtlessness and poor choices very harshly. You don't need to be buzzed for your performance to degrade. You don't even have to have had a drink that day for your focus and reactions to slow enough to be dangerous -- the night before stays with you. Alcohol fuels the rage and the rage leads to "I just
knew that if I kept going, I was going to die. But, still being extremely agitated, I said "f*** it," and took off." And with all due respect for your openness about this, if you blew .17 at the scene it's really, really hard to believe that it had been five hours since your last drink.
Bottom line: Your motor skills AND your judgment both went to hell, because of alcohol.
If I were a betting man, I'd wager a large sum that you're going to do something equally unwise involving motorcycles and alcohol sometime in the next few years. Maybe it'll be in a car instead of on a bike. But it's quite likely to happen IMHO.
Here's why I say that: People who binge drink (and let's not kid ourselves... 8 drinks in a day is binge drinking) have been known to wake up hung over saying "uggghhh... never again...." but go right back out the following week. Over and over. They learn a lesson, pay a price, and it doesn't stick.
A little perspective from a 59-year-old guy who has survived this long despite myself:
Life has to beat you up enough for you to really get the point. Doesn't look like that's happened yet. If you're lucky, you'll survive the experience.
This isn't an intellectual thing. You have to be ready deep down before you'll make the right choice. Until you are, you can justify anything. You know, like being a few months sober and then just deciding to go out and get hammered for the hell of it.
Stick with it. 60 days is a darned good start.