Sorry to hear about the bad experience. Try not to get too down on yourself and keep improving. Maybe a mindset shift can help. Feeling the slowest just means you have more room to improve. We've all been the slowest one at some point or another, but it just means we have people to follow and learn from.
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Originally Posted by Koala
another one on one time was my bike didn't like neutral. it would go to first/second, anything but. I digress....
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Yeah, this has historically been an issue on the smaller Hondas. My old Nighthawk 250 was a pain with finding neutral.
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Originally Posted by Koala
being told I was going slow enough to use direct steering (so of course the next time around that's what I do and I direct steered myself in the opposite direction towards a curb/grassy area. I got myself stopped a bit away from it.) so I went to counter steering the next time (the good thing about being there, I now know what that feels like!) and did it fine.
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Uh... Run, don't walk, from this kind of instruction. As you learned, countersteering is required at all speeds. It is a matter of physics for in-line, two wheeled vehicles at any speed, and a non-negotiable fact of life. People sometimes think they are direct steering at low speed just because they don't perceive the countersteering input.