A few things to think about
:
1) Look at the big picture of cost and safety. @
jkv45 has it exactly right. How much did that visit to the ER cost? Invest your money wisely. Plus the MSF course gives you a discount on insurance....
Someone who "cannot afford" something that only costs a couple of hundred bucks to begin with isn't really prioritizing that expenditure IMHO. You can save that much if you try.
2) You swerved to avoid a pothole and THEN you saw the gravel. So, you panicked. If you'd seen the pothole and the gravel sooner, would you have panicked, or would you have been able to avoid the situation entirely? Common beginner mistake is to not look far enough ahead. Lift your vision... everything will slow down and you'll have more time to react. Far less likely to panic that way.
3)
Think ahead too. Have a plan. You reacted to something sudden and unexpected without thinking. Think through the operation of the motorcycle before you get into those situations. That's what practice is for. You can visualize too, when you're not on the bike. Think a lot about this stuff... the more time you spend in your head thinking about riding, the easier riding becomes.
4) Simplify your workload. You were practicing downshifting and had to swerve to avoid a pothole at the same time. See above... if you'd seen the pothole sooner by lifting your vision, you wouldn't have been trying to do too much at once. Chances are, since you're new, your downshift wasn't smooth. So you had an upset bike, distraction, sudden appearance of another complicating factor (gravel)... it all adds up to mental overload.
5) When you do your parking lot practice, try doing some throttle roll-on practice at the same speed but in different gears. You'll notice that in lower gears, the throttle feels snatchier. Aim for smoothness first, vs. being in the "right" gear. It's not a crime to be in too high a gear... and as you gain experience, you'll gain smoothness and be banging those downshifts like a pro.
6) A little goes a long way. You don't need to move the throttle much at all. Think in little increments, like a ratchet. Same with brakes... pop quiz: What's the most powerful thing on a motorcycle? Answer: The front brake. With two fingers you can literally stand a sportbike on its nose. Gentle, smooth, never big and abrupt.
7) You don't need to be on a bike to practice riding skills. I do it in my car all the time. Downshifting (I drive a stick), throttle roll-on and roll-off, line selection, braking markers, traffic awareness... even a dull commute can become a learning opportunity. Sometimes I run laps in my head to relax... ever seen an Olympic skier, skater or bobsled driver zoning out and visualizing the course? Like that. Close your eyes and visualize throttle control. What does it feel like to just crack the throttle open a little bit? How much do you move your hand? What do you feel the bike doing?
8) On panic: You panic because you've exceeded your ability to handle a situation. Think of it like this.... you've got $10 worth of attention. Everything you need to deal with at any given moment costs. If you're spending $8 just trying to control the bike, that leaves only $2 to handle everything else. That pothole took up another $1.50. But then you saw that patch of gravel. It costs $5 all by itself, and now you're broke. What did you have to give up? That's right... your ability to control the bike, specifically the throttle. And down you went.
Point is, do what you can to reduce the routine "costs" (e.g. look farther ahead, slow down, think ahead, have a plan, practice, etc. etc.) so you have more left to deal with the unexpected.
Recommended book: Twist of the Wrist II, by Keith Code. The video is also excellent.