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Do you think you would forgive her if she repented? Think of the different ways things can play out and be prepared for each one. If you are REALLY determined that this has ended your marriage, then be strong in case she cries or even yells and says it's your fault. From what you've already written, it seems she's going to blame her extra-marital affair on you. If/when you confront her, like Liber said, try to do it when the kid isn't around. Not sure if you're Christian, but if you are, then God is right there with you and all you gotta do is pray for guidance and strength.
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