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So I'm sitting in church bored out of my mind (because I have forgotten everything I learned in Sunday school) and I start texting everyone saying "Happy Easter". Would you believe someone starts giving me a hard time for texting. I telling them to **** off, I can text while driving, I can text while eating at a restaurant, I can text will sitting in the bathroom, so why not church. The a-hole tries to grab my phone so I haul off and whack him right in his big f-ing mouth. Well then everyone starts bitching (I'm not sure if at me or him) but I'm pretty sure at him. The guy comes at me so I drop him with an upper cut to the jaw. He goes down and out. Would you believe the entire congregation starts looking at me like I did something wrong. I figure I should probably exit before someone else wants to play tuff guy. As I leave many of the now angry mob start leaving too. Half start praising me for standing up for myself the other half actually condemning me. I mean what has church become if you can't stand up for yourself. I'm glad all this happened before they dished out the crackers and wine. I really didn't want a bunch of old ladies with a buzz attaching me in the parking lot.
I wonder if I can get my money back from the collect?
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If everything seems under control; you're just not going fast enough!
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