[ninjabrewer]

Don't if this true or not, but my mom sent me this.

enjoy

Posted to

Craig's List Personals:
To the
Guy Who Tried to Mug Me
in
Downtown Savannah night before
last.

Date:

2009-03-23, 3:43 AM

EST
was the
guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded
I hand
over, shortly
after you pulled the knife on me and my
girlfriend.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse
and earrings.
I
hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to
apologize.
I didn't
expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol
after
you
took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason
that
evening, and it wasn't that cold
outside.
You see, my
girlfriend had
just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP
pistol for Christmas,
and we had just picked up a shoulder holster
for it that evening..
Beautiful pistol,
eh?
It's a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at
your head, isn't it? I know it probably
wasn't a great deal of fun
walking back to wherever you'd come from with
that brown sludge
flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was
even worse since you
also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone,
and wallet with me. I
couldn't have you calling up any of your
buddies to come help you try
to mug us
again.
I took the
liberty of calling your mother, or
"Momma"
as you had her listed in your cell, and
explaining to her your
situation. I also bought myself and four
other people in the gas
station this morning a tank full of gas on
your credit card. The guy
with the big motor home took 150 gallons and
was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys
over by Vinnie Van Go
Go's, along with all of the cash in your
wallet.
I threw
the wallet
in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at
the curb after I broke the
windshield and side window out and keyed the
drivers side. I called a
bunch of phone sex numbers from your
cellphone. They'll be on your
bill in case you'd like to know which ones.
Ma Bell just shut down
the line, and I've only had the phone for a
little over a day now, so
I don't know what's going on with that. I
hope they haven't
permanently cut off your
service.
I could only
get in two threatening
phone calls to the DA's office and one to the
FBI with it. The FBI guy
was really pissed and we had a long chat (I
guess while he traced the
number).
I'd also like
to apologize for not killing you and
instead
making you walk back home humiliated. I'm
hoping that you'll
reconsider your choice of path in life. Next
time you might not be so
lucky..

Alex

P.S. Remember
this motto...... an armed society is a polite
society!