Will probably be single by sunday....

[Stingray1000]

Or sarcastic right.... CynicalC, you probably shouldnt assume your smarter then everyone else. It will probably leave you a little dissapointed in life.

[Stingray1000]

Originally Posted by drac

LOL....pretty sure he was being facetious.

I know he was so was i.....

[Boomstick1491]

This thread has devolved into idiocy. I think the OP needs to seriously reexamine his relationship and determine if he needs/wants to stay with someone who does something against which he is fundamentally opposed (i.e. uses drugs) and with whom he cannot communicate effectively. If the answer is yes, then we should all cut him some slack and let him continue along his merry path, reserving our personal assessments of his decision.

The OP should also stop throwing gasoline on the proverbial fire by responding to ad hominem, etc, when everyone will clearly not be in agreement with his position/problems, etc. As many have said already, if you put your sh*t on the interwebs, expect that people will, and not necessarily in this order:

A) Provide sage advice
B) Provide craptacular advice
C) Mock you
D) Some combination thereof

If you need advice, post, receive advice (good/bad), dismiss those who choose to mock you, and formulate your course of action. As they say in the military, just make a decision; any decision, even one that ends up being a bad one, is better than no decision at all. Ranger on and figure your sh*t out.

Boomstick, out.

[Domagoj]

There is a good reason the wows say in good and bad and sickness and health. That means on ladies holidays, guys holidays, family holidays, funerals, at everyday breakfast and fancy evenings. But both sides must be commited.

You are 34, I am sure you experienced both young affection and grownup reliability and respect. Being a father of 2, what you want is surely the second thing. Look for a mother, not a party girl. If you can find it in her, it will be allright.

[sze5003]

Well it sounds like you were concerned more with her being away and other people trying to hook up with her. I can understand what you feel like because my current fiance has guy friends text her too sometimes and its usually when we get into arguments. In fact I told her I didn't like that behavior, it went away after I discovered some stuff that pissed me off and just recently it came back.

You have to sit down and be serious, talk to her about how you feel not what should be done or what you think is right or wrong. We all have different perceptions.

I've been going through similar gf/family issues for a year and half now and mine is a crazy case that probably will not be solved, ever. Feel free to PM me or whatever. I always find a way to help people out when it comes to relationship issues but I can never do the same for myself.

As for the weed thing, my opinion is that if you do not like it, and you have tried to get her to stop, she will not. I have a family member we've all been talking to trying to tell them they need to change and stop using that crap. Some people just enjoy it like smoking cigarettes but I've seen enough cases where it led to stronger things and that completely ruined that person (this family member for example).

When I was in college I tried it, ok big deal didn't see the need for it. Some people just have addictive personalities, or are in some type of career where it would not affect them, if so then enjoy it but I know enough that its not for everyone because some can be irresponsible.

[Stingray1000]

So.... Little update. Today walking by Megan's desk I spot an e-mail from a guy she used to have relations with that works here.... Seems they have been e-mailing each other here at work and he asked her if she wanted to hook up and she replied "I'll let you know"..... She admitted to e-mailing him first and since I found out has been apologetically begging me not to leave her....... Said it was jsut a fantasy and she never would've acted upon it..... Easy to say now that I've found out about it. I guess I should've listened to everyone's advice in the first place.....

[Jiggles]

Bitch needs a **** punt

[Alex]

[Stingray1000]

Thanks guys

[CThunder-blue]

Here's my advice:

1. Add CynicalC to your ignore list. It will do wonders for your time on ninjette.org

2. If you haven't already broken up with her, it's well past that time.

How long was it between your last marriage and when you got into a relationship with this person? I don't know you, but there are some people who are genuinely afraid of being alone. They would rather be in a terrible relationship than feel lonely. They end up settling and it usually doesn't end well. I would pack up your kids and take a trip somewhere, just you and them. Go spend some quality time with them and remind yourself what's really important in life.

For the people who gave advice about "just deal with her smoking weed... it's no big deal." I would say that just because a person decides that smoking weed isn't something they want to be involved with doesn't make that person a strict or uptight individual. Everyone has their own values, beliefs, and in this case, a tangible reason (legal) for not wanting it around. I don't care if people want to smoke weed, but I have a personal preference that they do it elsewhere. I choose not to involve myself with those individuals. I'm not saying they're bad people, but it's my choice. Why can't that choice be respected in the same way you choose to be ok with smoking pot?

[Whiskey]

Not worth the trouble dude, find a better one, sounds like all she wants to do is go get high & screw around, she's more fcukbuddy material than fiancee material...

[CynicalC]

Originally Posted by CThunder-blue

Here's my advice:

1. Add CynicalC to your ignore list. It will do wonders for your time on ninjette.org

Right. Ignore me because I told him the truth that he was too stupid to see himself? God you're pathetic.

[Jiggles]

Add me too while your at it. Then give me your fiancé's number, I'll give her the gift that keeps on giving.

[CynicalC]

TIL Jiggles has herpes.

[Jiggles]

Valtrex is expensive

[ally99]

Sounds to me like many of you in this thread could use a little yourselves.

[ally99]

Originally Posted by SharInATL

Nevermind the fact that it's illegal (insert ) that alone would be a deal breaker for me.

So is spitting against the wind in Michigan and making faces at dogs in Ohio.

The people who make our laws are not necessarily doing so to "serve and protect" the public. Vested interests determine which laws pass. The "laws" used to allow slavery and kill those with different religious beliefs.

[ARc]

Typically I stay away from these threads, because OP usually doesn't take sage advice and continues to fail. But I'll give it another shot.

This relationship was doomed from the get go. You making her promise not to smoke was the dealbreaker. Let her do what she wants. If it bothers you, either accept it, or she's not the right one.

You found e-mail correspondence between her and an old flame? She initiated? I would hop on my bike and ride away. Super fast.

[Legend]

Originally Posted by ARc

Typically I stay away from these threads, because OP usually doesn't take sage advice and continues to fail. But I'll give it another shot.

This relationship was doomed from the get go. You making her promise not to smoke was the dealbreaker. Let her do what she wants. If it bothers you, either accept it, or she's not the right one.

You found e-mail correspondence between her and an old flame? She initiated? I would hop on my bike and ride away. Super fast.

I'll second this post.

[nycsteve]

If you are gonna try anything with this chick again, it should be to keep her on your F***buddy list. Use protection. That is all.

[I'm Fred]

Originally Posted by ally99

Sounds to me like many of you in this thread could use a little yourselves.

Agreed!


So much tention in here for no reason..isn't the point of this thread to help OP?


Ray, if I were you i'd gather all my courage and end it there. I know it's something really really hard to do, that you might(will) sometimes feel like you done the wrong thing, but in the end I can garantee you you won't regret it. There's a saying here that basoicly says "Words are worthless without actions to back them up". At this point I doubt you can trust anything she tells you? Unless you do, it's not worth it...

Goodluck OP <3

[Stingray1000]

Originally Posted by I'm Fred

Agreed!


So much tention in here for no reason..isn't the point of this thread to help OP?


Ray, if I were you i'd gather all my courage and end it there. I know it's something really really hard to do, that you might(will) sometimes feel like you done the wrong thing, but in the end I can garantee you you won't regret it. There's a saying here that basoicly says "Words are worthless without actions to back them up". At this point I doubt you can trust anything she tells you? Unless you do, it's not worth it...

Goodluck OP <3

I really appreciate everyone's advice and at this point I have no clue about what I'm gonna do. She said the "I'll let you know" e-mail was to blow him off because she was thinking about me and our relationship but who knows.....

[Jiggles]

Originally Posted by Stingray1000

I really appreciate everyone's advice and at this point I have no clue about what I'm gonna do. She said the "I'll let you know" e-mail was to blow him off because she was thinking about me and our relationship but who knows.....

Yes, rationalize it

[iplante]

This advice is coming from a girl:

I'd let this one go. Sounds like there are some trust issues in the relationship... and trust is the #1 ingredient needed for a good relationship.

If it's not there, it's hard to build. Cut your losses.

[I'm Fred]

I've been in similar situations with my current girlfriend...I made some really stupid mistakes, and I mean really stupid. Kinda similar to what you're living right now. She didn't trust me at all, and she was 120% right not to. In the end she gave me a chance. I learned from my mistakes, and we're going strong since then. She trusts me, and I trust her more than ever.

That being said, I really really wanted it to work out. Are you SURE you know her in and out? If you are, think about it without considering your feelings. Ask yourself if you believe she really wants to put the efforts to work this out, because it's hard as ****. She'll need to change, and it's not going to happen fast or easily. If you're sure she wants to change, and if you're ready to take the risk (because there is a big one), take it. You know her more than any of us here, you're the one who really knows how to handle it, even if you don't think you can

[ARc]

Originally Posted by Stingray1000

She said the "I'll let you know" e-mail was to blow him off because she was thinking about me and our relationship but who knows.....

Lies.

Been there. Done that.

[CynicalC]

Originally Posted by ARc

Lies.

Been there. Done that.

No way man, she's totally faithful. Ignore the naysayers, Stingray. Your girl is an angel and definitely not a slutwhore. Just stick with it and everything will work out just fine.

Am I doing it right, CThunder-blowjob

[I'm Fred]

Originally Posted by CynicalC

No way man, she's totally faithful. Ignore the naysayers, Stingray. Your girl is an angel and definitely not a slutwhore. Just stick with it and everything will work out just fine.

Am I doing it right, CThunder-blowjob

I think doing it right would be to stop posting here, obviously your posts won't do any good and you won't prove your point

[CynicalC]

Originally Posted by I'm Fred

I think doing it right would be to stop posting here, obviously your posts won't do any good and you won't prove your point

Agreed

[Jiggles]

Originally Posted by CynicalC

Am I doing it right, CThunder-blowjob

That's not his username

[I'm Fred]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

That's not his username

[Jiggles]

[MXSteve89]

Jiggles FTW!

Ok ok... so I'll jump in here and throw my $0.02 out there..

My ex gf was a real piece of work... everything was good for a year or so, til she told me she ended up sleeping with this guy one night when she got drunk. We broke up for a week, then got back together by her asking and my stupidity. 3 months later, I ended things because I could never get that thought out of my head, always second guessing everything she said.

That's gonna be the hard part here, you're always going to be wondering things... is she going out with mom or trying to get a promotion with her boss? Why was she an hour late from work? When you're out riding for the day, what/who is she riding for the day? The trust will NEVER be there, EVER AGAIN. I can promise you that, not that you don't already know that.

To keep the relationship going, hoping things are going to change... that's just stringing yourself and your emotions along for a ride that you can end now, and start looking for other women to shag and get over this one. Yea, it'll hurt like hell for the first few months. Hell, took me at least a month to be able to listen to the radio again without some sappy love song coming on and my eyes getting watery... *true story bro*

In the end, it is what it is. Your kids are #1, and you're #2. Is this a women that you could trust leaving your kids with for a week or more? Trust that she could leave the blunts alone and look after your kids?

My ole' lady works at a preschool and is a nanny, great with kids. If we ever break up, I'll let you have a go at her.. but she doesn't dig motorcycles so you'll have to impress her with something else...

[I'm Fred]

<----

Originally Posted by Jiggles

[Stingray1000]

Guys Come on, this isn't supposed to be a pissing contest.... Again thanks for the advice everyone. We all have our demons. Anyone that says I'm not a flirt is a liar, but I'd never cheat. I'm completely heart broken and I'm still trying to figure out what I'm gonna do.

[xMoises831]

simple questions. are you going to be able to trust her again? Is she worth it all?

[Stingray1000]

Originally Posted by xMoises831

simple questions. are you going to be able to trust her again? Is she worth it all?

I don't think I'll ever be able to trust her again and if I could it will be a very long time. years even.

[iplante]

Originally Posted by Stingray1000

I don't think I'll ever be able to trust her again and if I could it will be a very long time. years even.

You have your answer, dude.

[xMoises831]

Originally Posted by Stingray1000

I don't think I'll ever be able to trust her again and if I could it will be a very long time. years even.

well I'm only 16 but i had a gf that would always use the i trust you but you don't trust me. I was with her for 2.5 years never did a single thing wrong because if i did all hell breaks loose. OH but when she did something like cheating thats ok because i don't trust her anyways.. just think about how your options weigh out is that girl who you want to be with the rest of your life? My ex kept me from enjoying life.. she kept me from being with someone that worth it.. is that how you feel?

[Legend]

Originally Posted by Stingray1000

I don't think I'll ever be able to trust her again and if I could it will be a very long time. years even.

Originally Posted by iplante

You have your answer, dude.

Trust is what a relationship requires and that is something you don't have. Once it is lost you never get it back. Sorry but you will always be thinking something up sometime.