Anyone one else very long-term single?

[Skippii]

Does it bother you? How do you feel about it long-term? I was just thinking about it today. I broke up with my last girlfriend in 2004 so it's coming on 8 years that I've been single. I have asked out a few girls in that time, but none were interested. I've asked my closest friends their opinion, but they all said they couldn't think of anyone who'd be interesting in dating me. My sister sometimes seems more bothered by this than I am, and a while ago she did buy me a six-month subscription to Match.com, but I never got a single response from anyone there. I generally don't worry much about it. I don't think there's anything wrong with being completely alone your entire life until you die. I'm certainly not convinced that marriage or relationships actually make anyone happier. What's starting to bother me, though, is that I'll never know for sure if I would have been happier with a relationship. I'm turning 30 this year, and noticing that most girls my age are married with kids has got me thinking about this.
Posted via Mobile Device

[sombo]

You are not alone in this. My last girlfriend was back in the Army in like 2002 (what a mistake that one was). For the longest while it didn't bother me because partly it was my choice because I felt I wasn't in a stable enough life to be worrying about a relationship. But here I am at age 35, seeing that all my old classmates are married, divorced, have kids, etc. Yet here I am having never even been engaged.

Sometimes you look back and wonder if that makes a big time loser or something. You can't really answer it cause it's not really a question that has an easy answer. There are times I get extremely lonely and wish I had someone (especially like the someone I had back in the 90's that was a best friend and sometimes girlfriend).

Now I look around and wonder if it's too late, is anyone even possibly interested, where could I even start, and hundreds of other questions on either side of the relationship/no-relationship debate in my head. There are times I regret being alone and wish I could go back and change a couple of things in my life to maybe have at least had that chance.

I do however feel that we need someone to share life's journey with. Whether people wish to believe it or not, we are a social based creature. We thrive on human contact and the feelings of being loved and appreciated. We decline and die when we go for too long w/o any signs of affection or caring about us.

[Heed]

Originally Posted by Skippii

she did buy me a six-month subscription to Match.com, but I never got a single response from anyone there.

People pay money for that ****?

I've never had a girlfriend or been close to having one. albeit, I'm only nineteen, I don't see what the big deal is regardless of age. I have no intention to get married and I'm certainly not in a position to have a girlfriend at the moment even if I desired one. There's pros and cons of marriage let alone having a significant other. Personally, I think the cons outweigh the pros - especially for the former.

[bluesinorbit]

I just turned 27 and I'm beginning to feel the approach of the big three-O. You probably had some of the same thoughts as me about what you've done in life so far and where you are headed. My advice is just don't. It sounds to me like you are doing just fine. As long as you are happy and you have people in your life, put any doubt out of your mind and enjoy your life. Being in a relationship and having kids don't make miserable people happy. 50% divorce rate clearly attests to that. I was contently alone for a long time before meeting my current girlfriend of three years. Like you, I didn't see anything wrong with going through life alone and I wasn't looking to meet anyone. But it had to happen when it did and it opened me up as a person and I can honestly say that I'm a happier person, not because I'm in a relationship, but because the life experience made me a better person. You can't force a relationship to happen, so be patient and don't get jaded. Be open, be the best you, and go through life doing things that make you happy. Before you know it, you'll find the right person. I truly believe that. Good luck to you.

[Boom King]

Just look on the positive side guys, at least Kim Kardashian and Katy Perry are both available now

[Skippii]

I think the main issue for me is that I know I want to raise a child. I see my friends and my sister having kids, and the time I spend with their kids is some of the most enriching experiences I've had. I want one, too. I just don't feel the same about getting a girlfriend.
Posted via Mobile Device

[CC Cowboy]

Ever think about moving?

Here's the complete list from The Advocate:

1. Salt Lake City, Utah
2. Orlando, Fla.
3. Cambridge, Mass.
4. Fort Lauderdale, Fla.
5. Seattle
6. Ann Arbor, Mich.
7. St. Paul-Minneapolis, Minn.
8. Knoxville, Tenn.
9. Atlanta
10. Grand Rapids, Mich.
11. Little Rock, Ark.
12. Portland, Ore.
13. Austin, Texas
14. Long Beach, Calif.
15. Denver
16. Washington
17. New Orleans
18. San Francisco
19. Pittsburgh
20. Salem, Ore.
21. Madison, Wis.
22. Eugene, Ore.
23. Oakland, Calif.
24. Boston
25. Kansas City, Mo.

Forget San Francisco (18th) or New York (not even on the list) — the gayest city in the U.S. is Salt Lake City, Utah, according to The Advocate, the gay and lesbian newsmagazine.

[Skippii]

I think you read a bit too far into what I was saying... That's not what I meant.
Posted via Mobile Device

[sombo]

Originally Posted by Skippii

I think you read a bit too far into what I was saying... That's not what I meant.
Posted via Mobile Device

Oh don't worry about him, that's just CC's sense of humor. You get used to it.

[massacremasses]

find a chick with a kid or two, they are usually desperate... hahaha

[CC Cowboy]

Originally Posted by massacremasses

find a chick with a kid or two, they are usually desperate... hahaha

Does it matter if they're still married?

[kyrider]

I hope this helps.

Link to original page on YouTube.

[USMCEvan]

Statistically speaking, single men live longer, happier lives, while married men live shorter.

Live it up man!

[massacremasses]

Originally Posted by CC Cowboy

Does it matter if they're still married?

if you are looking for something more than just sex, yes. lol

[austexjg]

I have been single for a few years now and have had the same thoughts recently. I only find being single a hassle when in need of some help - like someone to walk the dog while I spend some time at the track. But then again, I'm 38 and have already paid for two women to go to school before deciding that they are not worth the hassle in the long run - lived with both for a couple of years, but never put a "ring on it". And I find most people to be pitifully dumb - that makes it harder. I have lots of toys though, and no complains when I come home with another. Guess I'm just a selfish bastard.....

[greg737]

Marriage in the United States is in pretty bad condition. And I don't see it getting any better.

We (America) have spent the last 30 years trying to empower women, by giving them as much freedom, opportunity, power and status as any man ever had. We thought, "This has to be a good thing, right? What could possibly go wrong?"

But, if you're really serious about taking on the challange of a modern marriage, here's a piece of wisdom I really wish somebody had given me before I got married.

Here it is:

When it comes to picking a woman you absolutely have to find one who had (or still has) a very good relationship with her father. The test of a father-daughter relationship is whether she still loves him and communicates with him and spends time with him after she moves out of her parent's home. That's the woman you want. Believe me when I tell you that if that element is missing from your woman's psyche you're headed for trouble. I've done about 17 years of research on this and have found it to be true. I know there are a lot of other variables involved in a marriage, but the father thing is truly a major cornerstone of a good one.

[kyrider]

Originally Posted by greg737

Marriage in the United States is in pretty bad condition. And I don't see it getting any better.

We (America) have spent the last 30 years trying to empower women, by giving them as much freedom, opportunity, power and status as any man ever had. We thought, "This has to be a good thing, right? What could possibly go wrong?"

But, if you're really serious about taking on the challange of a modern marriage, here's a piece of wisdom I really wish somebody had given me before I got married.

Here it is:

When it comes to picking a woman you absolutely have to find one who had (or still has) a very good relationship with her father. The test of a father-daughter relationship is whether she still loves him and communicates with him and spends time with him after she moves out of her parent's home. That's the woman you want. Believe me when I tell you that if that element is missing from your woman's psyche you're headed for trouble. I've done about 17 years of research on this and have found it to be true. I know there are a lot of other variables involved in a marriage, but the father thing is truly a major cornerstone of a good one.

I agree with that 100%!!!

Another thing is to remember that who you pick to have a child with(if you make that choice) is the most important decision you will make in life.

Make it wisely!

[massacremasses]

Originally Posted by kyrider

\

Another thing is to remember that who you pick to have a child with(if you make that choice) is the most important decision you will make in life.

Make it wisely!

I see how choosing poorly has worked out for almost all of the guys at work... they are paying tons of money in child support to at least 1 or 2 women every month, and they really dont make that much... One of them got mad because I said I wanted to buy something and I could afford it in a year or so, and they couldnt understand how I who makes the same amount as them and have a wife and kid can afford things. (Im still hella poor) Its simple. My wife works, I work, and the biggest thing is I DONT PAY 1000 a month in CHILD SUPPORT!!

[Slono]

Originally Posted by massacremasses

i see how choosing poorly has worked out for almost all of the guys at work... They are paying tons of money in child support to at least 1 or 2 women every month, and they really dont make that much... One of them got mad because i said i wanted to buy something and i could afford it in a year or so, and they couldnt understand how i who makes the same amount as them and have a wife and kid can afford things. (im still hella poor) its simple. My wife works, i work, and the biggest thing is i dont pay 1000 a month in child support!!

yesssss :d

[saxnbass]

Originally Posted by CC Cowboy

Here's the complete list from The Advocate:

1. Salt Lake City, Utah
2. Orlando, Fla.

What is Orlando #2 of? Like, what's this list about?

[CC Cowboy]

Gayness. Not there is anything wrong with it. i have had a few gay friendsi have gone on vacation with them and their spouse and invited them to y straight friends.. As long as they respect i'm straight we are cool. Most are good people, just different.My frind Mark took me to places in Boston I didn't know existed.

On a different note, I meet alot of girls at the gym. I used to met up with ladies at football and soccer practice and game but everyones grew up.

Meeting girls is easy, getting rid of them is hard.

[CC Cowboy]

Friends with benefits is the way to go utill you meet someone who has the wow factor.

Rents are good if you don;t know how to even approach a girl. Remember to still treat them with respect and like a lady.

[Slono]

Originally Posted by CC Cowboy

Gayness. Not there is anything wrong with it. i have had a few gay friendsi have gone on vacation with them and their spouse and invited them to y straight friends.. As long as they respect i'm straight we are cool. Most are good people, just different.My frind Mark took me to places in Boston I didn't know existed.

On a different note, I meet alot of girls at the gym. I used to met up with ladies at football and soccer practice and game but everyones grew up.

Meeting girls is easy, getting rid of them is hard.

Meeting girls is easy. Meeting COMPATIBLE girls is hard. Getting rid of them is HELLA easy, just be an asshole and cheat on them. I don't condone this sort of behaviour but I'm pretty sure nobody would like one cheating on another.

[rusninja]

Originally Posted by kyrider

I hope this helps.

Link to original page on YouTube.

lmao alot look like their 15 XD

[rusninja]

Originally Posted by CC Cowboy

Friends with benefits is the way to go utill you meet someone who has the wow factor.

Dont friends with benefits have pretty good wow factors.

[sombo]

Originally Posted by rusninja

lmao alot look like their 15 XD

They may LOOK 15 but are most likely 22+.
Seems to be an Asian female thing to not age until 55 or so. Then overnight they go from looking 25 to looking 65.

[Jiggles]

Originally Posted by kyrider

I hope this helps.

Link to original page on YouTube.

Bah just head over to the philippines, you can buy as many as you want for $20 a pop

[gfloyd2002]

Originally Posted by Skippii

Does it bother you? How do you feel about it long-term? I was just thinking about it today. I broke up with my last girlfriend in 2004 so it's coming on 8 years that I've been single. I have asked out a few girls in that time, but none were interested. I've asked my closest friends their opinion, but they all said they couldn't think of anyone who'd be interesting in dating me. My sister sometimes seems more bothered by this than I am, and a while ago she did buy me a six-month subscription to Match.com, but I never got a single response from anyone there. I generally don't worry much about it. I don't think there's anything wrong with being completely alone your entire life until you die. I'm certainly not convinced that marriage or relationships actually make anyone happier. What's starting to bother me, though, is that I'll never know for sure if I would have been happier with a relationship. I'm turning 30 this year, and noticing that most girls my age are married with kids has got me thinking about this.
Posted via Mobile Device

Not that this means much coming from a semi-random person on the internet, but you seem like an intelligent, interesting guy with a good sense of humor. I wouldn't take it too personally that you are long term single. Match.com is great if you are a football player/cheerleader type that seems great on the surface (but may have nothing underneath), but you seem the type that runs a bit deeper.

My friendly advice is to work on developing new friendships, and forget about immediate romantic aspirations. Join a group, meet new people with the goal of getting friends, and by opening up those new people, you'll find someone. And by developing deeper friendships I think you might find someone more likely to stick around long term. You ever volunteer? Good way to meet good hearted people. (And girls who might take pity on you ). Seriously, though, find a group and join.

And if that doesn't work, go teach English in China or Vietnam or Phillipines or anywhere ending in "Stan." I lived in China (as a married man who isn't likely to be confused with Tom Cruise) and I was fighting off the women, constantly having to flash the wedding ring. Well educated, beautiful women who see individuality in a Western guy and the chance to settle in the U.S. as an attractive option to fairly restrictive, traditional societies that may limit roles for women. Two friends I worked with ended up happily married to very nice girls with advanced degrees.

[ForceofWill]

I'm gonna start this with, I love my wife, really. But I don't think there's anything wrong with being single and it certainly has it's appeals to me. My friends Uncle has been single forever and is now in his 50's. He has a great life. Has as many hobbies as he wants, gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. There's something to be said for that.

If I really didn't want to start a family with kids, I think I would still be single. Not because I don't love my wife, but because I wouldn't have been looking in the first place.

[Socal5646]

Originally Posted by ForceofWill

I'm gonna start this with, I love my wife, really. But I don't think there's anything wrong with being single and it certainly has it's appeals to me. My friends Uncle has been single forever and is now in his 50's. He has a great life. Has as many hobbies as he wants, gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. There's something to be said for that.

If I really didn't want to start a family with kids, I think I would still be single. Not because I don't love my wife, but because I wouldn't have been looking in the first place.

Everything always looks great from the outside...but I bet your friends uncle is a very lonely man...

[Boom King]

Originally Posted by Socal5646

Everything always looks great from the outside...but I bet your friends uncle is a very lonely man...

[CC Cowboy]

If you buy one of those girls from the Philippines, can you rent them out?

[EthioKnight]

Haven't had one (a gf ) ever since coming over to the States, it's been 2 years now. Me and my ex agreed the long distance relationship thing was bound to fail but I wish we were still together. There is nothing that can destroy a man's mojo (Austin Power reference) than moving to a land where the women are completely different, in attitude and psyche, than the one's you were familiar with. Just turned 22 so I think I have some time to unravel the mysteries of the inner workings of the American female If I should fail in my mission...there's always the "mail-order-wife" option available

[Jiggles]

Originally Posted by CC Cowboy

If you buy one of those girls from the Philippines, can you rent them out?

Yea it's exactly like a time share

[Zombiphone]

I actually just had a very similar discussion last night. As someone who's been happily single for all 24 of my years, I can say that I really don't feel like it's something EVERYONE needs in life. I'd be lying if I said I've never entertained the idea of a romantic relationship, but I've never been actively looking, and the encounters that I have had always leave me realizing I'm so much more content just being a singular me. I mean, sex isn't hard to come by- even moreso when you're single, and I have plenty of friends who I can relate to on a personal level without ever sleeping with, so I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I've known plenty of people who make quite an effort to live the life expected of them by society that's quite against their personal nature by getting married and having kids and living to support that, but they're consistently horrible parents and miserable people. Not to say that's the case for everyone, of course, but I know that lifestyle doesn't suit my personality, and I have no interest in trying to accommodate it. Maybe I'll meet someone down the line who will completely change my mind, but I won't ever settle just for the sake of not being alone.

But then, I'm also an entirely selfish person. I enjoy my time entirely too much and don't like to compromise on much of anything, so maybe I'm doing it wrong. All I know is that so far, it's working great for me

[CC Cowboy]

Originally Posted by Zombiphone

I actually just had a very similar discussion last night. As someone who's been happily single for all 24 of my years, I can say that I really don't feel like it's something EVERYONE needs in life. I'd be lying if I said I've never entertained the idea of a romantic relationship, but I've never been actively looking, and the encounters that I have had always leave me realizing I'm so much more content just being a singular me. I mean, sex isn't hard to come by- even moreso when you're single, and I have plenty of friends who I can relate to on a personal level without ever sleeping with, so I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I've known plenty of people who make quite an effort to live the life expected of them by society that's quite against their personal nature by getting married and having kids and living to support that, but they're consistently horrible parents and miserable people. Not to say that's the case for everyone, of course, but I know that lifestyle doesn't suit my personality, and I have no interest in trying to accommodate it. Maybe I'll meet someone down the line who will completely change my mind, but I won't ever settle just for the sake of not being alone.

But then, I'm also an entirely selfish person. I enjoy my time entirely too much and don't like to compromise on much of anything, so maybe I'm doing it wrong. All I know is that so far, it's working great for me

Spoken like a true biker!

[AznJoJo]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

Yea it's exactly like a time share

I think I'm offended, but I'm only half filipina so I'm just half offended? ha.

How come none of the ladies have nothing to say on the topic? Are all of them with someone?! Aiya... -_-!

I'm going on almost a year now, but by choice. I don't have a need for a partner and whenever there's a moment of loneliness, well I get by with self abuse.

[Zombiphone]

Originally Posted by AznJoJo

How come none of the ladies have nothing to say on the topic? Are all of them with someone?! Aiya... -_-!

...............


Maybe I should change my avatar to Hello Kitty and start ending all of my sentences with "tee hee" -_-

But to be fair, I suppose I've never really counted as a "lady"

[saxnbass]

Originally Posted by Zombiphone

Maybe I should change my avatar to Hello Kitty and start ending all of my sentences with "tee hee" -_-

Please don't.

[AznJoJo]

Originally Posted by Zombiphone

...............


Maybe I should change my avatar to Hello Kitty and start ending all of my sentences with "tee hee" -_-

But to be fair, I suppose I've never really counted as a "lady"

I'm sorry Tiff, I stopped reading after the whole "pay a pinay $20" section...

Now that I've read yours, I agree with you that everyone doesn't need to be with someone. I'm just not sure that's neccessarily the case for most folks. You've never had the urge to be with someone as a couple?