Planning an intervention, my son is turning into a squid.

[reaubideux]

So, against my wife's wishes, my son got his first bike for his birthday in August. Bright red, and already stickered out from the previous owner. I admit, I was a bit jealous as I liked the red more than my blue Ninja. I tried, and tried, and TRIED to get the boy to the MSF course but he wouldn't have it, didn't think he needed it. I'd ask him and always got a resounding "no." I can't force him. He's his own person and needs to learn to deal with the consequences of his decisions like a real man.

I at least got him gear up a bit but only b/c he liked my gear. Oh well, whatever it takes to get him in the proper riding attire. Admittedly, though, I'm glad my Dainese jacket didn't fit, who knows what type of condition he'd return it in.

Oh yeah, all smiles as he hopped on his bike for his first real ride. I should've seen it coming. I could see the squidiness rising inside him like a souffle in the oven; he would just sit there revving it like your typical squid. That's all I heard for at least 5 minutes: a bubbly, enthusiastic "vrooooommm vrrrrrroooooommmm." The motor loved to be revved. It wasn't higher pitched like an inline 4 but didn't have the rhythmic, thumping burble you hear with a twin either, it was kind of flat to be honest. I couldn't quite place it. For having an open exhaust it was surprisingly quiet though. You could hear it and you knew it was there, but it wasn't annoying.

We think the P.O. raced it because it didn't have any turn indicators and it came with slicks although, for slicks, they didn't seem to be very grippy, kinda hard to be honest. I don't have much experience with race tires but I imagined they'd be notably softer than your typical street tire.



Finally, after he was done just revving the thing, he took her out for a quick ride. He took to riding pretty naturally, although I think he needs to work on his low-speed skills because he likes to keep his feet down when crawling along at low speed.

I offered to go with him but he thought I'd make him nervous so he shooed me away and took off for another ride. I went on about my business. I checked up on him riding around and low and behold, the little punk was now sans riding gear. I was simply in a state of awe at how brazen this newb rider was and just simply did not care about his safety. I had even caught him in the act of trying to stunt... it always starts small, first riding with one hand, then no hands! He was having a good time but I don't think he realized what a slippery slope he was on, all in due time before he makes a bigger mistake and hurts himself.



As they always say, hindsight is 20/20 and looking back, I should've ripped the keys out of his hands right then and there but the boy has charisma and charmed both his mother & I into letting him ride a little longer. I walked away and came back later and my jaw damn near hit the ground. My son somehow managed to convince my wife, who was completely against the bike from the get-go mind you, to partake in the stunting as his assistant. W. T. F?! I absolutely couldn't believe it. We're meeting with the attorneys next week to draw up the divorce papers.



I washed my hands of the whole thing and then I heard my wife yelling for me, and came out and to no surprise, it finally happened. He was trying to drag knee around the recliner and ended up low-siding right into the dog. He was okay, just a little rash on his knee and arm; the dog was touch and go for a few seconds but she quickly lied down and went back to licking herself.

I kept trying to get him to lift the bike up properly, using his legs and walking it up but he wouldn't listen so I had to get it right side up for him. I decided he'd had enough and I wanted to take it for a quick spin anyway so I rode her back into the garage while he sat on the couch with some milk and thought about what he did.



Needless to say, he's quite shaken up but I think he'll get back on the bike. But only after he gets his own gear and takes the MSF course.








Happy Friday... yes, I am bored.

Alex, with the obvious joking nature of my post, please move to the appropriate forum if it shouldn't be here. Wasn't really sure where the best place to stick this.

[bluepoof]

That's awesome!

[kaiserz]

Hahaha nice I like the 1st pic the most! sooo cute lol (now I want my own baby)

[Live2ride]

that was quite the read!

[the big mike]

Haha, I was already thinking you must be the worst dad ever Nice one

[Alex]

[reaubideux]

Thanks folks.

Always happy to lighten up the mood.

[rusninja]

hahaha :P

[LazinCajun]

Next thing you know, he'll be drinking juice and riding.

[Mountain Dew]

Well ****, you got me good. I couldn't see the pictures while reading the text without scrolling down.

[onetruevibe]

Originally Posted by reaubideux

I washed my hands of the whole thing and then I heard my wife yelling for me, and came out and to no surprise, it finally happened. He was trying to drag knee around the recliner and ended up low-siding right into the dog. He was okay, just a little rash on his knee and arm; the dog was touch and go for a few seconds but she quickly lied down and went back to licking herself

[akima]

Awesome! Enjoyed that. Loved his "low-siding right into the dog"

[reaubideux]

Originally Posted by onetruevibe

And that is exactly what happened. He ran into the dog, she hopped up and looked at him with an "oh no you di'in't" kind of look, walked a few feet away, plopped down and went back to the task at hand.

[GeneJunkie]

Originally Posted by Mountain Dew

Well ****, you got me good. I couldn't see the pictures while reading the text without scrolling down.

LOL glad I wasn't the only one. That was an awesome read.

[Cuongism]

Can you ask your son how he rides with his sword? I've been trying to find an area to mount my katana to the ninja.

[reaubideux]

He doesn't ride with it yet, he's still working on his CCW permit. He's is working on a scabbard mount across the handle bars but he is having a problem with it catching on the ground when he's leaning it over in the twisties.

[nickjpass]

I didn't scroll down either, and when I saw the picture of him with the helmet I burst out in laughter...nice story! Hope the rash heals up okay.

[OddlyOrdinary]

That's an awesome set of pictures. I came to the thread expecting some deep conversation about imparting the importance of safety. I like this much more. :P

[massacremasses]

Im glad this got bumped.

This was by far the funniest thing Ive read today. I was ing the whole read.

Your son is doll, such a cutie. My 3 year old LOVES motorcycles as well. Im trying to get him a powerwheels or a 50cc quad with a throttle control. My wife says its to much $$ though I am looking forward to letting him ride on the back in a few years. I figure by 5 he will be able to hold on good enough

[JeffM]

Post of the month. Well done, well done Sir.

[cuz]

He was trying to drag knee around the recliner and ended up low-siding right into the dog

LOL the best line in the story

[talldrink]

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

[Lil_Green_Demon]

OP's post is so full of win!

[reaubideux]

*takes a bow*

Glad to have entertained all of you. I always enjoy telling goofy tales or making up stupid stories. You should hear the stuff I make up as a bed time story for my daughter.

massacremasses, yeah, he LOOKS cute in those pictures but underneath lurks the soul of a demon. I've got a 6 year old daughter now who I'd like to take for little rides around the neighborhood but my wife would kill me no matter how much safety gear I would put on her. Once my daughter's learned how to ride a bicycle I'd like to look for a little dirt bike that she can ride that my son could grow into riding as well but that's a ways off anyway so who knows if we'll have the money by then. I want something bigger before they get something bigger than their respective Schwinn's.

[choneofakind]

Originally Posted by reaubideux

I believe this shows that you're promoting the squidliness, thus, are the true squid in this family

I love the pictures. Keep those

[reaubideux]

Originally Posted by choneofakind

I believe this shows that you're promoting the squidliness, thus, are the true squid in this family

I love the pictures. Keep those

Just documenting for the sake of posterity.

I'll probably use these as character evidence when I'm called upon to testify at his eventual court hearings. It's just a matter of time... I caught him the other night watching Sons of Anarchy with a notepad and pen jotting down notes.

[massacremasses]

Originally Posted by reaubideux

*takes a bow*

Glad to have entertained all of you. I always enjoy telling goofy tales or making up stupid stories. You should hear the stuff I make up as a bed time story for my daughter.

massacremasses, yeah, he LOOKS cute in those pictures but underneath lurks the soul of a demon. I've got a 6 year old daughter now who I'd like to take for little rides around the neighborhood but my wife would kill me no matter how much safety gear I would put on her. Once my daughter's learned how to ride a bicycle I'd like to look for a little dirt bike that she can ride that my son could grow into riding as well but that's a ways off anyway so who knows if we'll have the money by then. I want something bigger before they get something bigger than their respective Schwinn's.

I suppose my wife is ok with it because she grew up with her dad riding. He did literally almost die, but for some reason shes ok with me riding and taking our son as soon as I get a little more seat time...

[Gorilla25]

lol...i enjoyed reading this

[choneofakind]

Originally Posted by reaubideux

Just documenting for the sake of posterity.

I'll probably use these as character evidence when I'm called upon to testify at his eventual court hearings. It's just a matter of time... I caught him the other night watching Sons of Anarchy with a notepad and pen jotting down notes.

That's awesome

you remind me of the dad in this commercial:

Link to original page on YouTube.


I hope that some day I'm that good of a dad

[massacremasses]

just showed this to my wife. We both laughed at it even though I already read it

and apparently (I didnt notice she did) our sons have matching swords... haha

[reaubideux]

Let me fix this for you... to put it into my perspective:

Originally Posted by choneofakind

I hope that some day I'm that good of a dad who enjoys messing with his kids' heads.

You're talking to a guy who last year, when his daughter asked how Santa Claus is able to get to all the houses in one night, told her that "Santa" is actually from another dimension and created a wormhole in the time space continuum allowing him to deliver the gifts over the course of a few months. She swallowed it and then asked why does he give gifts to children, I told her he's actually planting soldiers in all the toys for the impending invasion from his dimension. She started giving me that "you're full of it" look and then my wife jumped in and discounted my entire story and gave her the "because he's magical" theory. I retorted: "why do you think Santa keeps giving you so many Barbies?" Just remember, the more complicated you make the story, the less like they are to disbelieve it; they have yet to hear of Occam's Razor.

Massacremasses, lol, that's actually my daughter's sword. We got the 2 of them a pair at some store a month or 2 ago so they could beat on each other and make our jobs easier. He, obviously, just doesn't care whose is whose so he grabs whatever is closest to him.

To further cement my status as kind of a mental father, I actually convinced my wife to let me recreate this halloween costume for our son this year. It won't be as cool, but still fun to do nonetheless.

[akima]

Originally Posted by reaubideux

To further cement my status as kind of a mental father, I actually convinced my wife to let me recreate this halloween costume for our son this year.

[massacremasses]

That costume is great. Noah just wanted to be spiderman... haha

Noah has no siblings yet. He beats the rabbit cage and tries to hit the cat... :shakeshead:

[TheTopher]

Too funny.

[blink]

haha

[Cazper]

This read was even better being on my phone as I had to open through pictures seperately... lol
Posted via Mobile Device

[choneofakind]

Originally Posted by massacremasses

just showed this to my wife. We both laughed at it even though I already read it

and apparently (I didnt notice she did) our sons have matching swords... haha

That is awesome! Does he have the Darth Vader suit too??

Originally Posted by reaubideux

You're talking to a guy who last year, when his daughter asked how Santa Claus is able to get to all the houses in one night, told her that "Santa" is actually from another dimension and created a wormhole in the time space continuum allowing him to deliver the gifts over the course of a few months. She swallowed it and then asked why does he give gifts to children, I told her he's actually planting soldiers in all the toys for the impending invasion from his dimension. She started giving me that "you're full of it" look and then my wife jumped in and discounted my entire story and gave her the "because he's magical" theory. I retorted: "why do you think Santa keeps giving you so many Barbies?" Just remember, the more complicated you make the story, the less like they are to disbelieve it; they have yet to hear of Occam's Razor.

I'll keep that in mind. You know, I kinda like the worm hole/little soldier theory better. You have an evil sense of humor. I like it

[massacremasses]

Originally Posted by choneofakind

That is awesome! Does he have the Darth Vader suit too??



I'll keep that in mind. You know, I kinda like the worm hole/little soldier theory better. You have an evil sense of humor. I like it

currently just a spider man costume... lol

[dougherty]

Great story and pics to funny thank you for the end of day laugh