Crashed my 2fiddy (NSFW as long as Jiggles is on Percoset)

[00NissanNinja]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

But when you're down on a girl you're like eh this isn't so bad. It's a cramped place that just ain't gna be good, but tolerable. So there's been times where maybe the girl I'm with got a little too comfortable and didn't take the time to freshen up or it's been a hot day or w/e. You get down there and its like Woah! that's some stanky pussy. I'm a trooper though, and a gentleman, I'm gna dig through and try to not to make any remarks. Worst thing you can say is like "**** you got a stinky ass pussy what gives? You don't bathe? You want me to show you how to wash it? This better be worth it." I mean she has the right to withhold her treasuretrove, just not the means.

So yea there's been a few instances, one girl was actually from barbados, maybe thats just the natural essence down there.

LMAO man those pain meds got you saying some funny ish and it keeps coming haha.

[Kstorm21]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

But when you're down on a girl you're like eh this isn't so bad. It's a cramped place that just ain't gna be good, but tolerable. So there's been times where maybe the girl I'm with got a little too comfortable and didn't take the time to freshen up or it's been a hot day or w/e. You get down there and its like Woah! that's some stanky pussy. I'm a trooper though, and a gentleman, I'm gna dig through and try to not to make any remarks. Worst thing you can say is like "**** you got a stinky ass pussy what gives? You don't bathe? You want me to show you how to wash it? This better be worth it." I mean she has the right to withhold her treasuretrove, just not the means.

too funny!

I have to have surgery on the 12th and I'm gonna be pretty drugged up. I think I'll have my husband record it. Maybe I can get on Ellen like the kids that have their wisdom teeth removed.

[Jiggles]

I am restricting myself but alot more is coming through than normal, I don't want to get banned, I'd have nothing to do all day while I'm stuck at home

That being said I have relevant pictures, dunno if they are ok though

[CZroe]

This thread has definitely gone NSFW.

[bluepoof]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

That being said I have relevant pictures

I hope you don't mean of the old nasty vagina.

[TnNinjaGirl]

Ya, Jiggles, this thread is for sure pushing the family friendly aspect of Ninjette. Love it! (I'm a girl so I don't have to say nohomo do I?)
Posted via Mobile Device

[Jiggles]

Idk, you come on awfully strong with a name like TnNinjaGirl, its like no really guys I am a girl hit on me. Makes me think you might have a penis, so lets no homo this bitch

[Jiggles]

Originally Posted by bluepoof

I hope you don't mean of the old nasty vagina.

Uh no, well yes I have that but I wasn't gna post, unless you want me to

[Jiggles]

I just went at looked at the start of the thread and saw this. I mean cmon dude, you're the first poster and all you are leaving is a full quote of everything I wrote directly above and the smiley face. Did you think I wouldn't know what you are referencing?

[TnNinjaGirl]

Fair enough... loveyoumeanitnohomo

Seeing as that my name is descriptive, I assume yours is too. So what Jiggles?

[Jiggles]

You tell me if I Jiggle enough for you

Link to original page on YouTube.

Probably won't get the crash video finished till tomorrow, I'm missing one of the cameras and my mom is being stubborn for some reason and won't go grab it out of her room.

[CZroe]

Originally Posted by TnNinjaGirl

Fair enough... loveyoumeanitnohomo

Seeing as that my name is descriptive, I assume yours is too. So what "Jiggles?"

His man-boobs.

[Jiggles]

I've decided I'm not going to shave, uhh lets just call it a 'beard', until I can ride a motorcycle again

This pic was accidentally taken because I put the wrong passcode into my iphone. Good candid photo of what I normally look like, a retard.

[etiainen]

Dem Barbados chicks won't like the hobo beard?

[Jiggles]

It doesn't matter, I couldnt impress them with my 2fiddycrashdick syndrome right now anyway

[etiainen]

It's ok. Just sit on the 650. It will grow.

Find a turbo busa and all will be well.

[Jiggles]

Originally Posted by etiainen

Find a turbo busa and all will be well.

Pending settlement....

[bluepoof]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

I couldnt impress them with my 2fiddycrashdick syndrome right now anyway

You know, just as a matter of idle curiosity, Peter crashed his VStrom last July (granted, with help by a minivan) and still managed to knock me up the following month. *wiggles eyebrows*

[Jiggles]

That is the subtlest way I have ever seen anyone say "My bf 12 inches of unadulterated man meat"

[Jiggles]

Man my mom is getting to me. She is trying to control everything in the situation. Overall I'm grateful for her help but some of the stuff she does is just goddamned retarded. She has been hiding my Percocet from me all day which I didn't really mind, I didn't really want to keep track of it. But I'm all set up in bed, shes about to go up to bed and ask her

"Where is my Percocet I'm going to need it."
And she says, "You just took a dose. you don't need it."

After a little frustrated arguing, all the little things just sort of percolated to the surface and I went off on her.

"How are you going to tell a guy who has a broken leg that he doesn't need to be in control of his mediction, which the next dose for is due at 2am-4am. ARE YOU GOING TO COME DOWN AND GIVE IT TO ME? You don't even want to put the dog in the cage cuz she might (quite unlikely) start barking and you would have to let her out. Who do you think you are??? I'm an adult who can take his pain killers any damn time I want without your permission."

Honestly, I appreciate all the help, she's been pretty great. But on top of all the help is all these restrictions and annoyances that a normal person would never do to another. I know alot of you are going to say she is just being a mom and its cuz she cares, but I gotta tell you that's really not what's going on.

After I showed her how absolutely ridiculous was being I told her, "I'm not 5, don't treat me like I am."

To which she replied, "Okay, do you want your cheerios so you can swallow the pill "

"Yeah," (Gah, damn you bitch! ), "Night, love you"

[rusninja]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

I just went at looked at the start of the thread and saw this. I mean cmon dude, you're the first poster and all you are leaving is a full quote of everything I wrote directly above and the smiley face. Did you think I wouldn't know what you are referencing?

huh >.<

[Jiggles]

[massacremasses]

OH SNAP

watched it.

[Mountain Dew]

Maybe if you were wearing your damn metal pants this wouldn't have happened >:|

[Jiggles]

Haha yea, forgot my battlesuit that day. I don't think any riding pants would have prevented the break. All that force was put directly into my thigh, no avoiding it other than to try and lift my leg up before I crashed

[CZroe]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

Haha yea, forgot my battlesuit that day. I don't think any riding pants would have prevented the break. All that force was put directly into my thigh, no avoiding it other than to try and lift my leg up before I crashed

Like a BOSS

[Jiggles]

I shoullda hopped up and Cap'n Morgan'd

[Trailerboy531]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

It doesn't matter, I couldnt impress them with my 2fiddycrashdick syndrome right now anyway

It is posts like this that make me want this thread pinned and put in a hall of fame somewhere.

Never stop taking percocet.

ever.

[Jiggles]

I have lots

[akima]

[n4mwd]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

"Where is my Percocet I'm going to need it."
And she says, "You just took a dose. you don't need it."

Percoset can mess with your perception of time. And as such, its easy to get addicted to it. Based on your post, it sounds like she is trying to prevent that from happening.

[gfloyd2002]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

It doesn't matter, I couldnt impress them with my 2fiddycrashdick syndrome right now anyway

Google "per quod servitium et consortium amisit" and "loss of consortium." Literal translation ""in consequence of which he lost her society and services." You can get lawsuit damages for inability to sex the ladies. It could be worth dollars, or even tens of dollars, for your judgement. And, big bonus, (sorry for insensitively using the word "big"), claiming those damages makes the lawsuit depositions really fun for everyone.

Defense lawyer: "So, Mr. Jiggles, I see you claim inability to service the ladies as part of your damages for this lawsuit. We will need to prove the extent that this actually changes anything for you. Tell me about your sexual experiences."
Jiggles: "This one time at band camp, there was a burro . . ."
Defense lawyer: "Human only, please."
Jiggles: "Derp."

[n4mwd]

Originally Posted by gfloyd2002

You can get lawsuit damages for inability to sex the ladies.

True, but with a broken femur, I think he is going to clean out both insurance companies anyway. Unless she has one of those million dollar umbrella policies, I don't think making a sex claim is going to be that helpful - especially since the symptoms are temporary. As soon as he gets off the percocet, his body functions will return to normal. Percocet messes with both blood flow and nerve signals down there.

[drac]

Percocet messes with both blood flow and nerve signals down there.

Note to self------> Never, Ever take percoset................trust me when I say I can't afford any shrinkage. I avoid cold water like the plague...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cUNNKzj_Nc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEnKL...eature=related

[koenigcitizen]

I know it is a pretty rough injury, but some of the posts in this thread are so funny ... Mainly, posts by Jiggles, so I dont feel too bad laughing...

Seriously though, heal up soon!

Standing by for epic video....

[gfloyd2002]

Originally Posted by n4mwd

True, but with a broken femur, I think he is going to clean out both insurance companies anyway. Unless she has one of those million dollar umbrella policies, I don't think making a sex claim is going to be that helpful - especially since the symptoms are temporary. As soon as he gets off the percocet, his body functions will return to normal. Percocet messes with both blood flow and nerve signals down there.

Agreed. To be fair, I believe loss of consortium is brought by the person who is unable to have sex with the accident victim as a separate claim, not by the accident person himself. I mostly thought it would be hugely funny to raise the issue (sorry Jiggles for insensitive use of terms "raise" and "hugely"), and provide an excellent excuse to call Jiggles out on his bestiality. Though as I understand it, the burro initiated, so it isn't all Jiggles' fault.

[n4mwd]

Originally Posted by gfloyd2002

Agreed. To be fair, I believe loss of consortium is brought by the person who is unable to have sex with the accident victim as a separate claim, not by the accident person himself. I mostly thought it would be hugely funny to raise the issue (sorry Jiggles for insensitive use of terms "raise" and "hugely"), and provide an excellent excuse to call Jiggles out on his bestiality. Though as I understand it, the burro initiated, so it isn't all Jiggles' fault.

Now that you mention it, I think either sexual party can bring the suit. We don't know anything about the b!itches insurance, but we do know that Jiggles has 250/500 uninsured motorist coverage. So Jiggles will get the first $250K and his partner can sue for the second $250K.

But like I said, he will return to full glory once he stops the percocet. Its mostly just tylenol anyway, but the narcotic portion is what causes all the side effects. So a sex lawsuit would be hard to prove.

BTW, Jiggles, was the B!tch hot? Maybe she can compensate you in other ways.

[TnNinjaGirl]

I don't think I'd sleep with anyone who just broke my femur. Who knows, maybe Jiggles is into the S&M thing...

[Jiggles]

Originally Posted by n4mwd

Percoset can mess with your perception of time. And as such, its easy to get addicted to it. Based on your post, it sounds like she is trying to prevent that from happening.

Nah, thats not what she was trying to do. I mean, would you deny an adult their pain medicine for 10 hours because they might funk up the times?

I was actually supposed to take the dose at 2-4am and ended up taking it around 5:20am at which point I was in quite a bit more pain. I wanted to move around but needed to let the percocet hit me so I browsed ninjette for half an hour until movement was bearable.

[Jiggles]

Ladies of Ninjette, (You too @tranny ninja girl), here is what I have to offer you.

- I smell bad
- I currently have a very small wiener, think newborn baby
- I have a half shaved kinda sticky and yellow leg
- I haven't brushed my teeth lately
- I'm losing weight due to immobility, probably a bit will be muscle, I hope you like sponges
- Sometimes when I go to the bathroom I pee on myself a little bit
- I don't change my clothes often
- We probably can't have sex unless you are some crazy contortionist who can get into some ridiculous positions
- I can still receive sexual favors from you (Note: There will be NO manscaping)
- I'm good with my tongue but can't really move around, if you can get off in weird positions thats a plus
- We can go on dates if you have an ambulance
- I am on drugs
- Sometimes I hallucinate
- My parents and family will be around a lot, my bed is in the family room, but if we do everything under a blanket no one will see


If you think you or someone you may know would be a good match for me then please reply why we would be a good match.