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Old September 15th, 2016, 09:36 AM   #1
Koala
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psychologist

let me start out with just saying this post is really hard for me to do but I wasn't sure where else to ask. The low cost mental health care in my area might as well not even exist, it's just a "here's your pills" type deal from people that don't give a crap (at least according to reviews of the few offices that offer it).

Does anyone here happen to know/be friends with a good psychologist? I just really need someone to talk to once in awhile, someone unbiased that knows what questions to ask and just get to the meat of things. Someone to help me straighten things out in my head so I can try to live my life in a better way without so much depression. So, I guess looking for pro bono psych help through texting/IM/skype whatever, just once in awhile. I've come a long way from the deep darkness I was in just a year ago but I know I have further to go and I need help with it.

I figured it couldn't hurt to ask even if it is a lil embarrassing...
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Old September 15th, 2016, 09:38 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Koala View Post
let me start out with just saying this post is really hard for me to do but I wasn't sure where else to ask. The low cost mental health care in my area might as well not even exist, it's just a "here's your pills" type deal from people that don't give a crap (at least according to reviews of the few offices that offer it).

Does anyone here happen to know/be friends with a good psychologist? I just really need someone to talk to once in awhile, someone unbiased that knows what questions to ask and just get to the meat of things. Someone to help me straighten things out in my head so I can try to live my life in a better way without so much depression. So, I guess looking for pro bono psych help through texting/IM/skype whatever, just once in awhile. I've come a long way from the deep darkness I was in just a year ago but I know I have further to go and I need help with it.

I figured it couldn't hurt to ask even if it is a lil embarrassing...
I can't help you BUT....there is nothing embarrassing about asking for help.

Banish that thought from your head and continue moving forward!
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Old September 15th, 2016, 09:38 AM   #3
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http://www.doctorondemand.com/mental...1NsaAs0I8P8HAQ
We have a @headshrink here.
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Old September 15th, 2016, 10:27 AM   #4
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Will let you know if I run across someone who can help you but let me second the post that asking for help is not something you should apologize for. If you need someone to help you, asking is absolutely the right way to do it. Don't just suffer alone. Too many people do that.
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Old September 15th, 2016, 11:35 AM   #5
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Thanks, I've been suffering alone for quite a long time. I don't make friends easily (for many reasons) and just don't have anyone to talk to about things. And, as the link Allanoue posted shows, mental health is expensive. $119 for 50 minutes....or $79 for 25. I'll see what's up with headshrink.

thanks all of you
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Old September 15th, 2016, 11:48 AM   #6
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https://www.livehealthonline.com/


This is the one I wanted to share.
I get it free from my employer.
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Old September 15th, 2016, 12:00 PM   #7
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Never be embarrassed about reaching out! I'm in Canada so I'm no help for you finding a professional but I will say this:
Stop watching or listening to the news! Media is designed to scare & worry as its a proven hook! Most of it is plain hype "THE SKY IS FALLING!!!"
In no way am I saying it will solve whatever is at the root of your concerns but it will eliminate or reduce an unnecessary, large part of modern day anxieties.
Don't forget; you have friends here! Discussing motorcycling is distracting from everyday life and it's something we all have in common. We don't just have to talk bikes either: many of us have lots of life miles and are happy to mentor. Perhaps seeking others solutions to life's circumstances may be of help. For instance: never buy a Harley and do use that front brake!
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Old September 15th, 2016, 01:03 PM   #8
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You said its "just for sometimes," but I think its a better idea to schedule it at regular intervals, and keep a journal or note-thingy on your phone about things you want to talk about at your next session. Seeking counselling like this isn't a "go when you're upset and walk away feeling better" kind of situation. In fact, you'll probably start to feel worse before you feel better. But its ultimately for the greater good of your mental health and happiness.

Also, sometimes medication is necessary. It isn't permanent, but it can be extremely helpful for those who need a little "push," in the right direction. Research your prescribed medication before you decide whether or not to take it. If you don't like the side effects, ask your doctor for an alternative at your next appointment. And know that if you do take medication, it really sucks for about a week (depending on the meds). And although I'm an advocate for taking meds when necessary, I do acknowledge that they aren't for everyone in every situation.

I wish you the very best and hope you make the decisions that are right for you. I was in a much worse place than I am now, and I'm better for seeking help. You can get better, too.
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Old September 15th, 2016, 01:57 PM   #9
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Here are some government resources.

https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help/

This might be helpful.

SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline – 1‑877‑SAMHSA7 (1‑877‑726‑4727)
Get general information on mental health and locate treatment services in your area. Speak to a live person, Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. EST.
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Old September 15th, 2016, 03:18 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allanoue View Post
https://www.livehealthonline.com/


This is the one I wanted to share.
I get it free from my employer.
Thank you for sharing that. After checking it out, you're pretty lucky to have something like that covered by your employer. I don't have insurance (dancers don't exactly get benefits lol) since it's cheaper for me to just pay the IRS the fee when I do my taxes than to get Obamacare.
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Old September 15th, 2016, 03:29 PM   #11
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I do what I can to distract myself. I'm a news and information junkie. I don't suffer from anxiety about that kind of thing, or much anxiety in general. Mostly just depression...like bi-polar II and I'm up and down like a yo yo. I've been able to deal with it on my own for most of my life but things that have happened in the last year or two have put me on this downward spiral that was hard as hell to get out of. Imagine thinking you've finally finally hit rock bottom.....and then another few rungs fall off the ladder. and that happens over and over. I finally got out of it but I'm not all the way out and filling my head with online forums/tv/video games/books only does so much to distract me because it's still in my head.

I know it would be better to have regular sessions with a psychologist but right now I'm looking for anything I can get. Someone that will just listen and help.

Like I said, I've checked out the options in my area. They are either pill pushers or the type that is soon as you tell them you have a problem they are trying to commit you to a psych hold or worse. I don't have those types of issues. a year ago, yeah, I wanted to kill myself for the first time. I don't anymore. I want to live but I need help getting through this. Most people would use their friends for this but I have a hard time meeting people. I'm a loner introvert that doesn't identify well with most people. Women are usually to catty and shallow and it seems that all the guy friends I meet are nowhere to be found after they finally realize they aren't getting in my pants. So I have acquaintances, some that I think are really cool, but nobody I can trust and talk to. Hence, wanting a psychologist.

*edit - I wish I could upvote all of you for helping thanks
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Old September 15th, 2016, 03:37 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Koala View Post
I do what I can to distract myself. I'm a news and information junkie. I don't suffer from anxiety about that kind of thing, or much anxiety in general. Mostly just depression...like bi-polar II and I'm up and down like a yo yo. I've been able to deal with it on my own for most of my life but things that have happened in the last year or two have put me on this downward spiral that was hard as hell to get out of. Imagine thinking you've finally finally hit rock bottom.....and then another few rungs fall off the ladder. and that happens over and over. I finally got out of it but I'm not all the way out and filling my head with online forums/tv/video games/books only does so much to distract me because it's still in my head.

I know it would be better to have regular sessions with a psychologist but right now I'm looking for anything I can get. Someone that will just listen and help.

Like I said, I've checked out the options in my area. They are either pill pushers or the type that is soon as you tell them you have a problem they are trying to commit you to a psych hold or worse. I don't have those types of issues. a year ago, yeah, I wanted to kill myself for the first time. I don't anymore. I want to live but I need help getting through this. Most people would use their friends for this but I have a hard time meeting people. I'm a loner introvert that doesn't identify well with most people. Women are usually to catty and shallow and it seems that all the guy friends I meet are nowhere to be found after they finally realize they aren't getting in my pants. So I have acquaintances, some that I think are really cool, but nobody I can trust and talk to. Hence, wanting a psychologist.

*edit - I wish I could upvote all of you for helping thanks
Hello introvert, from a fellow introvert! Nothing wrong with that...some of us are just born to not trust people. HA!

I voted them for you.

My wife is an RN. Tonight when I get home I'll ask her about resources for you. I can't guarantee anything since you're in a different state but maybe she can point you in the right direction.
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Old September 15th, 2016, 03:54 PM   #13
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Hang in there! Asking for help is a big first step in the right direction!

Hopefully finding someone qualified to talk to will help, but it's possible there may be a chemical reason for your severe swings so be open to all forms of treatment.

Are there any cycle gatherings in your area? How about clubs? If you like cycles (you are here so I assume you do) it can be a good way to meet people and share your interest.

Make sure you get time to get outside and be active. Too much screen time doesn't help. Maybe consider getting a low-maintenance pet if you don't have one.

Know that you are moving in the right direction.
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Old September 15th, 2016, 04:16 PM   #14
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Call military one source an tell them you are me... Or the vet crisis center... Just a thought

It's a long road, but you can do it!
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Old September 15th, 2016, 04:18 PM   #15
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I'm in Vancouver. I'm old. Im not trying to get in your pants

News etc may not make you depressed but seldom is it uplifting. I know if I don't have access to news or talk radio for a few days I feel way more optimistic! Worth a try?!?
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Old September 15th, 2016, 04:45 PM   #16
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As others have already stated, please do not apologize for asking for help as you are among friends who will listen and not judge. We all have personal problems of varying degrees of difficulty. Please keep us informed of your progress and we will continue to encourage you on your journey to good health.
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Old September 15th, 2016, 05:03 PM   #17
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Thanks, RacinNinja. I looked up on Google for my area and then also links for my area through Psychology Today. That's how I found the info I've been mentioning.

jkv45, I'm pretty sure all the bike clubs around me are for cruiser people. Harleys are a big thing around here. I did really enjoy going out to Mid Ohio this last June and meeting a bunch of the guys here (csmith12 and his daughter Jade, adouglas, bigballsofpaint, sirref, ducatti999....kevin, and anyone else I may have forgotten). I think once I have my bike that will give me a real good outlet, something I can really get into and enjoy. Especially once I get it to the track and let my inner speed demon out. Until then I've been kind of not going out except for my pass to Cedar Point since I'm saving money for the bike and all the gear and stuff I'll need. I've got my kitty to keep me company but he's 16 years old and you can tell. Not sure how much time he's got left in him but he's my snuggle buddy and he does help.

SLOWn60, thanks for making me giggle You guys don't seem like that to me at all, it's just the non forum people.

JohnnyBravo, I'm assuming you're a dude and I don't do a dude voice very well, even over the phone Otherwise, I would seriously consider taking you up on that offer as long as it wouldn't effect your standing in the military. Wouldn't want them thinking you're nutty.

Snake, thanks for the kind words, I will keep this updated as I try and figure out what's going on in this head of mine.

here's my mushy side coming out (it doesn't happen often)...
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Old September 15th, 2016, 05:19 PM   #18
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Old September 15th, 2016, 07:21 PM   #19
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I wish this forum had a :reach around: smilie! I may be old but I'm not dead!
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Old September 15th, 2016, 09:12 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Koala View Post
Thank you for sharing that. After checking it out, you're pretty lucky to have something like that covered by your employer. I don't have insurance (dancers don't exactly get benefits lol) since it's cheaper for me to just pay the IRS the fee when I do my taxes than to get Obamacare.
Something to look at, especially through the exchanges, is the benefit vs reward. And don't just look at the cheapest plans, look at what you use and the deductibles vs what it costs. If you only have to pay $25 to go see a doc instead of $100, or pay $25 for a $100 med, it starts looking pretty cheap. I was on a silver plan for a while and the Rx benefit basically meant the plan paid for itself since I take Advair ($300 a month). Paying the government to not get any benefits at all may seem cheaper, but unless you're totally healthy, it almost never is.

Have you checked into group sessions and/or talking to a priest/pastor/minister/rabbi/whatever? It's not one-on-one time with a shrink, but they're cheap/free and might help with low-level "just need to talk it out" stuff.
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Old September 15th, 2016, 11:04 PM   #21
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Oh I get to talk to mental health on the regular... They know I'm nutty

You seem to meet the same types I meet around here

I'm a good listener, but idk if I'd be what you considered helpful, and since you don't do a good guy voice I doubt I'd have any desire to get in your pants
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Old September 16th, 2016, 05:49 AM   #22
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Something to look at, especially through the exchanges, is the benefit vs reward. And don't just look at the cheapest plans, look at what you use and the deductibles vs what it costs. If you only have to pay $25 to go see a doc instead of $100, or pay $25 for a $100 med, it starts looking pretty cheap. I was on a silver plan for a while and the Rx benefit basically meant the plan paid for itself since I take Advair ($300 a month). Paying the government to not get any benefits at all may seem cheaper, but unless you're totally healthy, it almost never is.

Have you checked into group sessions and/or talking to a priest/pastor/minister/rabbi/whatever? It's not one-on-one time with a shrink, but they're cheap/free and might help with low-level "just need to talk it out" stuff.
I've been looking at the exchange and I'm kind of confused on this. As of right now, the only drug I take is Depo Provera. I spend $40 every 3 months at Planned Parenthood. For this to be covered I would have to get the silver plan which comes out to just under $3,000 a year....and meet a $7,000 deductible. Yikes.

I haven't looked into group sessions because I am not a social person, I don't like groups of people, especially having to talk in front of them or to them. It makes me uncomfortable. Talking to a religious person never came to mind because I am far from religious. Not a believer.
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Old September 16th, 2016, 05:54 AM   #23
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JohnnyBravo and SLOWn60, you two are appealing to my mischievous and playful side already lol.

I'm feeling good this morning, going to Cedar Point for the last day of Mean Streak and opening night of Halloweekends this evening. Crossing fingers the car makes it there and back I never know how long the good feelings will last so I just have to take advantage of it while I have it. Hopefully I don't start balling in one of the haunted houses since I will be by myself and the one and only time I've been was with my ex a couple years ago. It was one of the last times it seemed he actually wanted me around. Oh god now I'm going to cry, ok getting off here to go cook and distract myself.
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Old September 16th, 2016, 06:21 AM   #24
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I do not make friends easily and I do not like large groups. I was stuck in a bad place after a 20 year marriage ended. I have a long commute and for quite a few years that is all I did. Someone suggested I check out meetup.com and I have a few frends now. Whatever interest you may have or want to try there is a meetup for it.
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Old September 16th, 2016, 06:24 AM   #25
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"JohnnyBravo and SLOWn60" mentioned together....
The only way that could work is if he has a really good girl voice and I close my eyes!
I'll pitch but I won't catch!



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Old September 16th, 2016, 07:00 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SLOWn60 View Post
"JohnnyBravo and SLOWn60" mentioned together....
The only way that could work is if he has a really good girl voice and I close my eyes!
I'll pitch but I won't catch!





allanoue, thanks for the link, I'll check it out. I'm glad I'm not the only one that has the friend issue. Too many things annoy me about people in general. When I force myself to look past some of those things and make friends, I find out they just want people to stroke their egos and feed them fairy tales about life instead of being straight up. I am a very straight up, no mind game, real person. I don't sugarcoat anything and people tend to not like that. Not to say I'm a bitch (only when I need to be), I'm a very nice, fun, caring person. I'm just not fake like so many others.
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Old September 16th, 2016, 10:26 AM   #27
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I see you mentioning that you are going off reviews on some of these places. Is one of them someplace that sounded to you like they might have people who would listen or help, before you read the review?

I'm very cynical of shrinks and would probably leave a scathing review if one didn't do what I wanted. But another person might find the shrink to be exactly what they need. When it comes to mental or physical health issues, I do believe that it comes down to if you connect to the person enough that you both trust each other. Because it is so personal, I don't think a review can be the be all end all.

See if one can work for you financially, take the reviews with a grain of salt, and see if maybe you can set up an appointment as a "get to know you" before delving into the deep stuff. You are wanting help, have asked for help, and I know there are people out there who want to help.

(Course I haven't been to a shrink in.... 20+ years, so take what I say with a grain of salt!)



Coming from another introvert with an extremely limited social circle (I can count my friends I could trust to talk about issues on one hand), mama to a 19 year old furbaby, and who has her own mental health issues but is not brave enough to face them.
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Old September 16th, 2016, 10:42 AM   #28
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I meet you Koala, please remember this..

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You're stronger than what you think. Here is one of life's secrets...

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Surround yourself with great people who do great things, and as such... you will rise and aspire to be even greater. - me
Good luck and can't wait till next season.

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Old September 16th, 2016, 10:47 AM   #29
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Another one....

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To ensure you're giving your very best, blind yourself of all negativity, relax your mind, put inhibition to rest and drive hard toward your goals like it's the last thing on earth. - me

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Old September 16th, 2016, 11:26 AM   #30
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Hmmm...
I thought for sure Chris would post this one:
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Old September 16th, 2016, 11:47 AM   #31
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Hmmm...
I thought for sure Chris would post this one:
Dood.... that is awesome and the principle is outstanding!
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Old September 16th, 2016, 12:26 PM   #32
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Stand tall @Koala.

If it helps to just have friends or someone who will listen to keep your mind at bay I would be more than glad to give you my number to text anytime. I know the frustrations your mind can play on oneself and being alone can make it feel worse. Everyone has different situations and a lot of crap that can plague you. Here's my little secret, my username has much more of a stance in my life than people take it for. It's a slogan I repeat over and over and just that word helps me feel comfort and strength. Unfortunately people have the wrong view of the word and take it negatively. Keep on keeping on and know your not the only one who has to ask for help or struggles with this. Feel free to reach out, this forum is capable of solving more than just a loss screw on your bike.
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Old September 16th, 2016, 02:39 PM   #33
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Y'all folks crazy... I forgot all about what I was gonna type

@SLOWn60 So I should put on my school girl costume then
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Old September 16th, 2016, 02:49 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by JohnnyBravo View Post
Y'all folks crazy... I forgot all about what I was gonna type

@SLOWn60 So I should put on my school girl costume then


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Old September 16th, 2016, 03:38 PM   #35
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Old September 16th, 2016, 06:45 PM   #36
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JohnnyBravo and SLOWn60, you two are appealing to my mischievous and playful side already lol.

I'm feeling good this morning, going to Cedar Point for the last day of Mean Streak and opening night of Halloweekends this evening. Crossing fingers the car makes it there and back I never know how long the good feelings will last so I just have to take advantage of it while I have it. Hopefully I don't start balling in one of the haunted houses since I will be by myself and the one and only time I've been was with my ex a couple years ago. It was one of the last times it seemed he actually wanted me around. Oh god now I'm going to cry, ok getting off here to go cook and distract myself.
I'm glad to see that you are feeling better. Enjoy the good times and stay strong.
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Old September 16th, 2016, 09:19 PM   #37
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@Koala;
I'm putting my amateur shrink hat on for a minute:
Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar but a trigger is a trigger!
You mentioned you're going to a place that will strongly trigger an emotional response in you and fix your gaze firmly in the rear view mirror.
One of the keys to quitting smoking is to change your habits and avoid places etc that remind you of your old habits.
Depression is not as simple as a nicotine addiction but I'd bet the farm it can't be a positive plan to go beat yourself up at a place you know is going to trigger old thoughts and beat yourself up about what was.
There will be a million places you can go for a Halloween experience on your own or with anyone else so you can enjoy a positive, new experience without the baggage!
Here's a new experience to try that's probably completely different: go help carve pumpkins! Do a little research; I guarantee there's several carving events that would love the help and you'll meet some new faces and probably end up at a new Halloween party surrounded by fellow carvers & new faces! Don't go to some place where your mind will be rehashing & looping reply of every visual clue you'll see at the old place!
We all do the mental anguish masterbation but you can break the soundtrack if you give yourself those new experiences. If nothing else; you'll have a sharp knife and a pumpkin... You can carve "his" face and then go all Freddy Kruger on it! BWAHAHAHA!!!!
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Old September 17th, 2016, 06:19 AM   #38
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Wow! Very good advice that we can all use from time to time.
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Old September 17th, 2016, 06:28 AM   #39
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"JohnnyBravo and SLOWn60" mentioned together....
The only way that could work is if he has a really good girl voice and I close my eyes!
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Y'all folks crazy... I forgot all about what I was gonna type

@SLOWn60 So I should put on my school girl costume then
@Koala it looks like you started a dating service here. I love to see when people come together.
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Old September 17th, 2016, 06:42 AM   #40
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@Koala it looks like you started a dating service here. I love to see when people come together.
Lol! I love Johnny as much as anyone here, perhaps more because of his zany but Johnny plays on the wrong team for me to really "love" Johnny!
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