The Seven Stages of Dismay

gfloyd2002 · September 4th, 2012, 01:50 PM

I went through all seven on my ride to work this morning, thought I'd share.

Stage 1: Slight annoyance. I just pull onto the highway from my street on the way to work and my boot itches, slightly distracting me. Dumb socks.

Stage 2: Worry. I think there is a bug in my boot. I'd better pull off the road when it is safe.

Stage 3: Serious concern. It is moving for sure. I forget if there are poisonous spiders locally. I need to STOP NOW. Pull to shoulder of highway and apply brakes safely.

Stage 4: Panic. Glance down as I'm pulling off road and see literally dozens of spiders crawling out of my boots. Hundreds. Seem big. Both boots. Fuuuuuuuuuuu. Full-on panic stop.

Stage 5: ZOMG! WTF! WTF! Kickstand takes too long. Lay bike on mirror and pegs in grass on side of road. Rip off boots with abandon. Throw them into gully a bit farther than intended due to adrenaline. Get spiders off by running around flailing on highway shoulder, then rolling around in grass off of shoulder. Scream "F&CK!" alot.

Stage 6: Regaining composure. Okay, some spider eggs must have hatched and the spiders were inside my boots. Try to look cool, I'm okay. Stand up, check to see if anyone is staring. No worries, doesn't seem to be any lingering pain or poison issues, skin all fine no discoloration. Don't think we have poinsonous spiders now that I think about it, those looked like non-poisonous Baby Barbados Black Hole spiders. I'm okay. I'm okay.

Stage 7: Recovery. Where are my boots? Why am I still itchy all over? Oh, crap, I scratched my mirror and pegs. Would 2 seconds putting down the kickstand have killed me? When did the egg sack get into my boots? Oh, wait, left that low kitchen window right above my boots open last night. Oh, there are my boots. Geez, I think I just set the boot put distance record. Clean boots (obsessively). Clean them again. Clean them again. Put them back on and continue to work.

Jiggles · September 4th, 2012, 01:56 PM

Hahaha epic win. Also you are wanted in the crash section.

So what is scarier, a bee in the helmet or spiders in the boots. It's a tough one but I think I'd rather have spiders in the boots

RedCromwell · September 4th, 2012, 02:00 PM

Ah, too funny. I can just picture you rolling around on the ground covered in spiders.

Related to this very thing is why I have my Noob Rider rule #33 - "If you leave your helmet in the garage be sure to check it for bugs the next morning before you put it on."

bfpower · September 4th, 2012, 02:02 PM

Had a bee in my helmet last week. It got out the bottom and stung me in the windpipe before I could completely panic. It was no match for leather gloves.

I effing HATE bees, but I'd rather have a bee in my helmet than spiders pouring out of my boot. Seriously creepy.

gfloyd2002 · September 4th, 2012, 02:08 PM

Easy choice, I'd take the bee. I'm not allergic, and spiders can be poisonous. While I may be a bit sensitive after this morning, let me assure you that potentially poisonous spiders crawling all over you while riding a motorcycle is enough to reduce an otherwise rational grown man to panic. I think I'd have put the kickstand down for the bee.

Jiggles · September 4th, 2012, 02:10 PM

Haha, idk, flying things freak me out more than crawling things. I wouldn't even be worrying about whether it was poisonous or not, I just don't want anything touch my beautiful face

Alex · September 4th, 2012, 05:47 PM

This is why we need video running on all rides!

Glad you're OK, Floyd!

kingkang204 · September 4th, 2012, 05:50 PM

I'd much rather have a bee in my helmet. Imagining spiders crawling out of my shoes is like a scene out of a horror movie.

Panda · September 4th, 2012, 05:51 PM

At Stage 4 I would have gone into Stage 4A and pooped myself.

beren · September 4th, 2012, 07:14 PM

Had somwthing similar with tennis shoes and baby sccorpions. Mama scorpion was still in the shoe. No idea how I did not get stung.

flynjay · September 4th, 2012, 08:24 PM

You're lucky. We have brown recluse spiders here, and guess where they like to make their webs. Yep, secluded dark places, like boots.

Everything in the garage gets vigorously checked for spiders before being put on. Motorcycle gear never gets left in garage.

nycsteve · September 5th, 2012, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kingkang204

I'd much rather have a bee in my helmet. Imagining spiders crawling out of my shoes is like a scene out of a horror movie.

vman1313 · September 5th, 2012, 09:36 AM

@gfloyd2002 - NOT FUNNY

BUT FUNNY!!!!

Motofool · September 5th, 2012, 10:10 AM

Great story, Floyd; worth of being on a video.

Once, I had one little spider crawling over my face.

The little thing was unnoticed until I was on the HOV lane moving at 75 mph.

I picked it up while I put my helmet on the gas tank to release the disc lock, I believe.

psych0hans · September 5th, 2012, 10:17 AM

EEK!!! that is REALLY freaky... lol Glad you're alright

CZroe · September 29th, 2012, 08:47 PM

Went camping once and was told to leave my boots outside the tent because they stunk after getting wet in the creek that day. In the morning, I put them on with no socks because my socks were still wet. While eating breakfast by the grill at least half an hour later, something tickled and I took it off.

...

A spider spanning almost the size of my palm jumped out completely unharmed and ran off! It never bit me and I was surprised it wasn't hurt itself.

FrugalNinja250 · September 30th, 2012, 08:45 AM

Poor spiders. What probably happened was that a mom of one of the baby-carrying species went into your boot for shelter.

I like spiders, once I watched one building a web from the corner of my glasses to the edge of my helmet's visor opening while I was on a ride down to Austin. When I got to my planned fuel/rest stop I got her out safely and relocated her to some bushes under a light, lots of insects for her to feed on.

You might hang out on http://www.reddit.com/r/spiders as that seems to have helped a lot of arachnophobes overcome that fear in the past.

I am glad that here in the US there are only two poisonous spiders, and they're not particularly poisonous. Bites from either are fairly treatable.

cuong-nutz · September 30th, 2012, 09:20 AM

I'll take a bee over a spider. Gotta worry about them brown recluses and black widows here in Texas.

lgk · September 30th, 2012, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuong-nutz

I'll take a bee over a spider. Gotta worry about them brown recluses and black widows here in Texas.

black widows around here.

but if you are allergic to bees then they are obviously worse...

Dragonracer76 · September 30th, 2012, 09:54 AM

Hillarious... I was imagining some true life Ricky Bobby invisible flames running and rolling around on the side of the highway. Haha!

BlueHairSar · September 30th, 2012, 06:14 PM

This is the best story I've read all day.

Lil_Green_Demon · October 1st, 2012, 07:13 PM

LOL

Nice tale, Floyd. I've had a similar experience with insects in my gear, but they were all ants. Ants in my boots, in my helmet & in my damn jacket. SMH

I can't imagine how I'd react if I found spiders in any of my gear. Maybe 10x worse than you did

JeffM · October 2nd, 2012, 07:18 AM

Oh great, now I'm going to have phantom itchy feelings all the way to work this morning.

Great story Floyd.

Jeff

ForceofWill · October 2nd, 2012, 04:40 PM

LOL, holy hell that would suck so bad.

BTW, VV Floyd VV

Link to original page on YouTube.

alex.s · October 2nd, 2012, 06:09 PM

i'm terribly arachnophobic... the second i saw little spiders leaving the boot, the bike would be crashed sliding down the road while i try to rip the boot off (well before coming to a stop) winding up in severe tumbling only to come to a stop halfway concious still trying to get the boot off but failing because all my bones are broken

September 4th, 2012, 01:50 PM	#1
gfloyd2002 User Title Free Since '12 Name: Floyd Location: Barbados Join Date: Dec 2010 Motorcycle(s): '10 Ninja 250R Special Edition Green Posts: A lot. Blog Entries: 13 MOTM - Feb '12	The Seven Stages of Dismay I went through all seven on my ride to work this morning, thought I'd share. Stage 1: Slight annoyance. I just pull onto the highway from my street on the way to work and my boot itches, slightly distracting me. Dumb socks. Stage 2: Worry. I think there is a bug in my boot. I'd better pull off the road when it is safe. Stage 3: Serious concern. It is moving for sure. I forget if there are poisonous spiders locally. I need to STOP NOW. Pull to shoulder of highway and apply brakes safely. Stage 4: Panic. Glance down as I'm pulling off road and see literally dozens of spiders crawling out of my boots. Hundreds. Seem big. Both boots. Fuuuuuuuuuuu. Full-on panic stop. Stage 5: ZOMG! WTF! WTF! Kickstand takes too long. Lay bike on mirror and pegs in grass on side of road. Rip off boots with abandon. Throw them into gully a bit farther than intended due to adrenaline. Get spiders off by running around flailing on highway shoulder, then rolling around in grass off of shoulder. Scream "F&CK!" alot. Stage 6: Regaining composure. Okay, some spider eggs must have hatched and the spiders were inside my boots. Try to look cool, I'm okay. Stand up, check to see if anyone is staring. No worries, doesn't seem to be any lingering pain or poison issues, skin all fine no discoloration. Don't think we have poinsonous spiders now that I think about it, those looked like non-poisonous Baby Barbados Black Hole spiders. I'm okay. I'm okay. Stage 7: Recovery. Where are my boots? Why am I still itchy all over? Oh, crap, I scratched my mirror and pegs. Would 2 seconds putting down the kickstand have killed me? When did the egg sack get into my boots? Oh, wait, left that low kitchen window right above my boots open last night. Oh, there are my boots. Geez, I think I just set the boot put distance record. Clean boots (obsessively). Clean them again. Clean them again. Put them back on and continue to work. __________________________________________________ "Improvement makes straight roads, but the crooked roads without improvement, are roads of genius." — William Blake

September 4th, 2012, 01:56 PM	#2
Jiggles Jigglin' your Jiglets Name: Sean Location: San Jose, Ca Join Date: Jun 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2009 K1300S, 2013 Ninja 300, 2011 Ninja 250R, Faster than Unregistered's ninjette Posts: Too much. Blog Entries: 1 MOTM - Apr '13	Hahaha epic win. Also you are wanted in the crash section. So what is scarier, a bee in the helmet or spiders in the boots. It's a tough one but I think I'd rather have spiders in the boots __________________________________________________ If the Ninja 250 doesn't have enough power for you, then you don't know how to ride it. AFM #676 Supersports are for n00bs

September 4th, 2012, 02:08 PM	#5
gfloyd2002 User Title Free Since '12 Name: Floyd Location: Barbados Join Date: Dec 2010 Motorcycle(s): '10 Ninja 250R Special Edition Green Posts: A lot. Blog Entries: 13 MOTM - Feb '12	Easy choice, I'd take the bee. I'm not allergic, and spiders can be poisonous. While I may be a bit sensitive after this morning, let me assure you that potentially poisonous spiders crawling all over you while riding a motorcycle is enough to reduce an otherwise rational grown man to panic. I think I'd have put the kickstand down for the bee. __________________________________________________ "Improvement makes straight roads, but the crooked roads without improvement, are roads of genius." — William Blake

September 4th, 2012, 02:10 PM	#6
Jiggles Jigglin' your Jiglets Name: Sean Location: San Jose, Ca Join Date: Jun 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2009 K1300S, 2013 Ninja 300, 2011 Ninja 250R, Faster than Unregistered's ninjette Posts: Too much. Blog Entries: 1 MOTM - Apr '13	Haha, idk, flying things freak me out more than crawling things. I wouldn't even be worrying about whether it was poisonous or not, I just don't want anything touch my beautiful face __________________________________________________ If the Ninja 250 doesn't have enough power for you, then you don't know how to ride it. AFM #676 Supersports are for n00bs

September 4th, 2012, 05:47 PM	#7
Alex ninjette.org dude Name: 1 guess :-) Location: SF Bay Area Join Date: Jun 2008 Motorcycle(s): '13 Ninja 300 (white, the fastest color!), '13 R1200RT, '14 CRF250L, '12 TT-R125LE Posts: Too much. Blog Entries: 7	This is why we need video running on all rides! Glad you're OK, Floyd! __________________________________________________ Montgomery Street Motorcycle Club / cal24.com / crf250l.org / ninjette.org ninjette.org Terms of Service Shopping for motorcycle parts or equipment? Come here first. The friendliest Ninja 250R/300/400 forum on the internet! (especially Unregistered)

September 4th, 2012, 02:00 PM	#3
RedCromwell ninjette.org member Name: Alan Location: Delaware, USA Join Date: Jul 2010 Motorcycle(s): '10 Ninja 250 Posts: 221	Ah, too funny. I can just picture you rolling around on the ground covered in spiders. Related to this very thing is why I have my Noob Rider rule #33 - "If you leave your helmet in the garage be sure to check it for bugs the next morning before you put it on."

September 4th, 2012, 02:02 PM	#4
bfpower ninjette.org mafioso Name: Ben Location: Dillon, MT Join Date: Jul 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2009 Ninja 250R Posts: 337	Had a bee in my helmet last week. It got out the bottom and stung me in the windpipe before I could completely panic. It was no match for leather gloves. I effing HATE bees, but I'd rather have a bee in my helmet than spiders pouring out of my boot. Seriously creepy.

September 4th, 2012, 05:50 PM	#8
kingkang204 ninjette.org guru Name: Matthew Location: Washington Join Date: Aug 2010 Motorcycle(s): Bike-less, Can I ride yours? Posts: 318	I'd much rather have a bee in my helmet. Imagining spiders crawling out of my shoes is like a scene out of a horror movie. __________________________________________________ RR stands for Responsible Riding... Right?

September 4th, 2012, 05:51 PM	#9
Panda not an actual panda Name: dan Location: philadelphia Join Date: Aug 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2008 Ninja 250, 2009 CBR600RR (Sold) Posts: A lot.	At Stage 4 I would have gone into Stage 4A and pooped myself.

September 4th, 2012, 07:14 PM	#10
beren ninjette.org member Name: John Location: dallas Join Date: Aug 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2007 Ninja 250 Posts: 181	Had somwthing similar with tennis shoes and baby sccorpions. Mama scorpion was still in the shoe. No idea how I did not get stung.

September 4th, 2012, 08:24 PM	#11
flynjay ninjette.org guru Name: Jason Location: Houston, TX Join Date: Nov 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2007 Ninja 250 (sold), '06 Ninja 650R Posts: 455	You're lucky. We have brown recluse spiders here, and guess where they like to make their webs. Yep, secluded dark places, like boots. Everything in the garage gets vigorously checked for spiders before being put on. Motorcycle gear never gets left in garage.

September 5th, 2012, 09:36 AM	#13
vman1313 ninjette.org sage Name: Tony Location: Buford, GA Join Date: Mar 2012 Motorcycle(s): '14 Honda NC700X; '14 Honda CRF250L; '07 Lifan 200 Posts: 623	@gfloyd2002 - NOT FUNNY BUT FUNNY!!!! __________________________________________________ www.northgariders.com NuBe4Life!!!

September 5th, 2012, 10:10 AM	#14
Motofool Daily Ninjette rider Name: Hernan Location: Florida Join Date: Mar 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2007 Ninja 250 Posts: A lot. MOTY - 2016, MOTM - Dec '12, Jan '14, Jan '15, May '16	Great story, Floyd; worth of being on a video. Once, I had one little spider crawling over my face. The little thing was unnoticed until I was on the HOV lane moving at 75 mph. I picked it up while I put my helmet on the gas tank to release the disc lock, I believe. __________________________________________________ *Motofool* *.................................Never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly* "Mankind is composed of two sorts of men — those who love and create, and those who hate and destroy. Love is the bond between men, the way to teach and the center of the world." - José Martí

September 5th, 2012, 10:17 AM	#15
psych0hans ninjette.org certified postwhore Name: Hansveer Location: Bombay, India Join Date: Jan 2012 Motorcycle(s): Ninja 250r - Track whore, Ninja 300 - SOLD, KTM RC390 - Orange Hulk, Ducati 899 Panigale - Red Devil. Posts: A lot.	EEK!!! that is REALLY freaky... lol Glad you're alright __________________________________________________ GETTING BACK INTO RIDING? Read this.

September 29th, 2012, 08:47 PM	#16
CZroe CPT Falcon Name: J.Emmett Turner Location: Newnan, GA Join Date: Apr 2009 Motorcycle(s): '08 CP Blue EX250J, '97 unpainted EX250F, 2nd '97 unpainted EX250F (no engine), '07 black EX250F Posts: A lot.	Went camping once and was told to leave my boots outside the tent because they stunk after getting wet in the creek that day. In the morning, I put them on with no socks because my socks were still wet. While eating breakfast by the grill at least half an hour later, something tickled and I took it off. ... A spider spanning almost the size of my palm jumped out completely unharmed and ran off! It never bit me and I was surprised it wasn't hurt itself.

September 30th, 2012, 08:45 AM	#17
FrugalNinja250 ninjette.org certified postwhore Name: Frugal Location: Dallas/Fort Worth (DFW) Join Date: Mar 2010 Motorcycle(s): Several Posts: A lot.	Poor spiders. What probably happened was that a mom of one of the baby-carrying species went into your boot for shelter. I like spiders, once I watched one building a web from the corner of my glasses to the edge of my helmet's visor opening while I was on a ride down to Austin. When I got to my planned fuel/rest stop I got her out safely and relocated her to some bushes under a light, lots of insects for her to feed on. You might hang out on http://www.reddit.com/r/spiders as that seems to have helped a lot of arachnophobes overcome that fear in the past. I am glad that here in the US there are only two poisonous spiders, and they're not particularly poisonous. Bites from either are fairly treatable.

September 30th, 2012, 09:20 AM	#18
cuong-nutz RIP Alex Name: Cuong Location: Houston, TX Join Date: Apr 2011 Motorcycle(s): '10 250r, '09 265r Posts: A lot. Blog Entries: 2	I'll take a bee over a spider. Gotta worry about them brown recluses and black widows here in Texas. __________________________________________________ HalfFast Racing Team Serving Greater Houston Area Riders:WFO Riders MotoHouston HPC CMRA Ride Smart Fastline Lone Star Track Days

September 30th, 2012, 09:54 AM	#20
Dragonracer76 ninjette.org member Name: Jason Location: Cabot, AR Join Date: Apr 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2009 Ninja 250R Posts: 209	Hillarious... I was imagining some true life Ricky Bobby invisible flames running and rolling around on the side of the highway. Haha! __________________________________________________ Beards make everything better. ATGATT

September 30th, 2012, 06:14 PM	#21
BlueHairSar ninjette.org sage Name: Sarah Location: NYC Join Date: Aug 2012 Motorcycle(s): Silver 2005 Ninja 250 - Available for free mustache rides. Posts: 842	This is the best story I've read all day.

October 1st, 2012, 07:13 PM	#22
Lil_Green_Demon Winging It In Life Name: Umar Location: SoCal Join Date: Aug 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2010 250R; 2011 250R (sold) Posts: A lot.	LOL Nice tale, Floyd. I've had a similar experience with insects in my gear, but they were all ants. Ants in my boots, in my helmet & in my damn jacket. SMH I can't imagine how I'd react if I found spiders in any of my gear. Maybe 10x worse than you did

October 2nd, 2012, 07:18 AM	#23
JeffM Mr. 988 Name: Jeff Location: Sandy, Utah Join Date: Aug 2009 Motorcycle(s): One Posts: A lot. Blog Entries: 1	Oh great, now I'm going to have phantom itchy feelings all the way to work this morning. Great story Floyd. Jeff __________________________________________________ "I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to" - Jimi Hendrix Cancer

October 2nd, 2012, 04:40 PM	#24
ForceofWill Blind 250 Loving Whore Name: Tom Location: Chesapeake, VA Join Date: May 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2008 250R, 02 FZ1, '20 Fat Bob 114 Posts: A lot.	LOL, holy hell that would suck so bad. BTW, VV Floyd VV Link to original page on YouTube.

October 2nd, 2012, 06:09 PM	#25
alex.s wat Name: wat Location: tustin/long beach Join Date: Sep 2009 Motorcycle(s): wat Posts: Too much. Blog Entries: 5 MOTM - Oct '12, Feb '14	i'm terribly arachnophobic... the second i saw little spiders leaving the boot, the bike would be crashed sliding down the road while i try to rip the boot off (well before coming to a stop) winding up in severe tumbling only to come to a stop halfway concious still trying to get the boot off but failing because all my bones are broken __________________________________________________

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