October 26th, 2011, 11:11 AM | #1 |
ninjette.org member
Name: Leo
Location: Washington State
Join Date: Oct 2011 Motorcycle(s): Ninja 250 2010 (Sold), 2013 Ninja 300!! Posts: 156
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should i feel guilty?
OK so I had two cages and I sold my two seater s10 and kept my suv. I bought the bike with the money from the s10 and kept the suv because I have a step son. well her family seems to think I'm selfish for getting a bike knowing I have a step son and her. so now I feel guilty and I don't know if I should...
I'm not getting rid of my ninja Posted via Mobile Device |
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October 26th, 2011, 11:15 AM | #2 | |
That rider dude.
Name: Eric
Location: Orlando, Fl.
Join Date: Apr 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2011 White Ninja 250 SE. Posts: A lot.
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Yes.
Quote:
Dont stress. You got rid of a two seater and kept the one with more seats. That would seem unselfish to me.
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Mods: flushmount Led front binkers, diode mod, pazzo levers, clear tank pad, racing replica grips, bike monkeys integrated tal light, zx-2r vinyls, rearsets, red bar ends, and more red accented stuff. |
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October 26th, 2011, 11:17 AM | #3 |
ninjette.org sage
Name: Luke
Location: Sevierville, TN
Join Date: May 2011 Motorcycle(s): 06 Buell Uly, 05 VStar 1100 Posts: 577
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Whats it any of her family's business what you have or not. Questions:
1) Can you pay for your bills? 2) Can you take care of your step son and you? If so, screw them. Its your life, live it. |
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October 26th, 2011, 11:17 AM | #4 |
ninjette.org certified postwhore
Name: John
Location: Illinois
Join Date: Aug 2011 Motorcycle(s): None yet, yet. Posts: A lot.
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^ what he said
i don't understand why your family should think you're selfish. you sold the s10 and kept the SUV. Obviously, the 2 seater S10 isn't much more beneficial to your family than the Ninjette is. |
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October 26th, 2011, 11:22 AM | #5 |
Newb..... on a steeek! :D
Name: Mike
Location: Windermere, FL
Join Date: Feb 2009 Motorcycle(s): 2012 Harley Davidson XL883L Sportster Superlow Posts: A lot.
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I think it's her family that's being selfish. You said you kept the suv for THEM. Isn't that enough, or do they think all your vehicles should belong to them? The s10 wouldn't be any better for a family then the bike is.
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October 26th, 2011, 11:37 AM | #6 |
ninjette.org member
Name: Rick
Location: Winter Park, Fl
Join Date: Jul 2011 Motorcycle(s): None yet Posts: 64
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It's called boundaries and her family needs to learn their place. They have no right judging you like this. If your lady thinks you are being selfish then that's between you and her, nobody else.
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Rick |
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October 26th, 2011, 11:56 AM | #7 |
ninjette.org certified postwhore
Name: Murphey
Location: Eastern Washington
Join Date: Apr 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2002 Honda 919, 2004 Ninja 500R NAKED Posts: A lot.
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Technically the ninjette is a two seater...
And it also gets mucho better gas mileage |
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October 26th, 2011, 12:01 PM | #8 |
Dakine...
Name: AJ
Location: DFW
Join Date: Jun 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2009 Ninja 250R (Sold) | 636 (hopefully soon) Posts: A lot.
Blog Entries: 5
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like what everyone already said. as long as you can take care of your family, her family cant say shiet. and you were not being selfish when u sold the s10 and kept the suv..i can see them saying that if you kept the s10 and sold the suv, which is not the case... Ride on and be happy
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October 26th, 2011, 12:12 PM | #9 |
ninjette.org sage
Name: john
Location: Palm Beach County, Fl Sligo County, Eire
Join Date: Dec 2010 Motorcycle(s): 2005 ninja 250 street fighter, 2008 street fighter ninja 500, 2001 nsr 125 Posts: 812
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off my meds?
I absolutely, positively agree with everyone. Ride on Brothers, especially the newest one.
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October 26th, 2011, 12:16 PM | #10 |
ninjette.org certified postwhore
Name: .
Location: .
Join Date: Feb 2011 Motorcycle(s): . Posts: Too much.
MOTM - Feb '13, Feb '14
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I don't get it. Do they think you're selfish for selling a car that they think should become his car when he can drive? or that you bought a vehicle that *could* (I hate when people bring this one up) kill you and that you need to think of them first? thats shukum. I can sort of understand if the plan for the s10 was to become his car, but there doesn't seem to have been any withstanding plans, so no. not selfish at all.
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October 26th, 2011, 12:28 PM | #11 |
ninjette.org member
Name: Leo
Location: Washington State
Join Date: Oct 2011 Motorcycle(s): Ninja 250 2010 (Sold), 2013 Ninja 300!! Posts: 156
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OK thank you all for your replies. it really put me at ease. on top of all of that he only 1 year and far from driving. it has been putting stress on me. originally I got the suv because I only had the s10 and needed a more family friendly vehicle. so sell the s10 which got waaaay better gas miliage after I got the suv because I didn't need two vehicles. I got the bike because it was inexpensive and gets awesome gas miliage to go to school everyday. I was just feeling really guilty and almost talked myself into selling my bike.
thanks everyone for the responses and support Posted via Mobile Device |
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October 26th, 2011, 12:31 PM | #12 |
ninjette.org member
Name: Leo
Location: Washington State
Join Date: Oct 2011 Motorcycle(s): Ninja 250 2010 (Sold), 2013 Ninja 300!! Posts: 156
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they think its selfish cause I spent money on my self. after bike and gear and course with fees and travel gas ( was driving suv, 17mpg ) I probably spent 5 grand
and she is family oriented, me, I disowned my mom and love my dad but he is in CA and I got my own place. but she is attached to her family which is why it causes stress for mr Posted via Mobile Device |
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October 26th, 2011, 12:40 PM | #13 |
ninjette.org certified postwhore
Name: John
Location: Illinois
Join Date: Aug 2011 Motorcycle(s): None yet, yet. Posts: A lot.
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screw 'em.
i honestly thought at one point that i would feel guilty if i were to buy myself a bike (for certain reasons i won't mention) but you got to treat yourself. |
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October 26th, 2011, 12:56 PM | #14 |
Nooblet
Name: Akima
Location: England
Join Date: Jul 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2011 Ninja 250R FI Posts: A lot.
Blog Entries: 5
MOTM - Oct '13
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Motorcycles seem to be great stress relief for many people here and more generally, bring a lot of enjoyment to the riders. If I was your kid I'd be happy if you were a happier and less stressed father!
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October 26th, 2011, 01:00 PM | #15 |
ninjette.org member
Name: Rich
Location: Arlington, TX
Join Date: Feb 2011 Motorcycle(s): None yet Posts: 24
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My wife has a baby on the way and I'm going to look at a Ninja 250 this weekend. I felt guilty and asked her if I should wait to buy a motorcycle. She replied, "it's not like we are going to starve just because you bought a motorcycle, get one if it makes you happy". If she is not making you feel guilty and it's just her family don't worry about it.
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October 26th, 2011, 01:05 PM | #16 |
ninjette.org member
Name: Leo
Location: Washington State
Join Date: Oct 2011 Motorcycle(s): Ninja 250 2010 (Sold), 2013 Ninja 300!! Posts: 156
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yea it has been a huuuge stress relief. when I'm riding I don't worry bout my phone ( no Bluetooth ) and just focus on the road and listen to the motor. so so very peaceful.
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October 26th, 2011, 01:06 PM | #17 |
ninjette.org member
Name: Leo
Location: Washington State
Join Date: Oct 2011 Motorcycle(s): Ninja 250 2010 (Sold), 2013 Ninja 300!! Posts: 156
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thanks for all the feed back
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October 26th, 2011, 01:35 PM | #18 |
Avid Kitteh Poster
Name: Justin
Location: Norcal
Join Date: Sep 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2006 Yamaha TTR 50 SUCK IT Posts: A lot.
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just saw this. My mom is kinda like that too. And I was in a similar situation so ill tell you how I handled it.
Its my choice its my money. boom settled I sold my 3KGT VR4 which is basically a damn two seater.. back seat is a joke, hard to take my (step) son around as well. (hes 3) So selling that we bought a brand new 2011 Ford Fiesta. And I took the 99 corolla (a reliable car but not a looker or fast) SOO MY family thought I was being selfish for using some of the money from MY BABY (car) and picking up a USED ninja.... I honestly told em **** you. not in a mean way but, it wasnt up for discussion, it was between me and my wife, not them. Thats what it boils down to, you and your girl. If you are in agreement, **** em, you dont need their permission. in your case, the s10 was a fun car, not very economical... the ninja is 1.more economical 2. cheaper to insure 3. more fun you also STILL have your SUV as your "people mover" never spending money on yourself is bullshit, Im assuming you work and provide. You deserve **** to. /rant
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I powdercoat stuff Help me pay for my addiction I say funny stuff. http://twitter.com/JustinPWNSyou sometimes... I write like a 12 year old too, http://justinpwnsyou.wordpress.com/ |
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October 26th, 2011, 02:49 PM | #19 |
Dakine...
Name: AJ
Location: DFW
Join Date: Jun 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2009 Ninja 250R (Sold) | 636 (hopefully soon) Posts: A lot.
Blog Entries: 5
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they mad coz u spent YOUR money on YOURSELF?.... bullshiet....next time she wanna buy make up or get her hair did, tell her fuk no....she spending her money on herself and not the fam...how she gonna like it?...she'll get pissy i bet...its YOUR money...as long as you can support your family, you should spend YOUR extra money however you please to...given you still take the wife on occasional date nights and stuff like that...
Just like between me and my fiance...shes fine with me spending my money how i want to, given i can still take care of bills, necessities, and get her something nice now and then, including dates etc...and i do the same for her, she'll spend her extra money how she wants, given the same circumstances |
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October 26th, 2011, 02:51 PM | #20 |
Avid Kitteh Poster
Name: Justin
Location: Norcal
Join Date: Sep 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2006 Yamaha TTR 50 SUCK IT Posts: A lot.
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when you get married its OUR money
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I powdercoat stuff Help me pay for my addiction I say funny stuff. http://twitter.com/JustinPWNSyou sometimes... I write like a 12 year old too, http://justinpwnsyou.wordpress.com/ |
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October 26th, 2011, 06:38 PM | #21 | |
ninjette.org member
Name: Leo
Location: Washington State
Join Date: Oct 2011 Motorcycle(s): Ninja 250 2010 (Sold), 2013 Ninja 300!! Posts: 156
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Quote:
i miss my s10 soooo much. that was a awesome truck....and fun. but i had to do wht i had to
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Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. -BL2 |
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October 26th, 2011, 06:38 PM | #22 | |
Newb..... on a steeek! :D
Name: Mike
Location: Windermere, FL
Join Date: Feb 2009 Motorcycle(s): 2012 Harley Davidson XL883L Sportster Superlow Posts: A lot.
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Quote:
So you have the right to get a little vehicle for yourself to get around on and have fun with. How much you want to bet they wouldn't have said a damn thing if you got a cage (even at a higher price) instead of a bike? |
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October 26th, 2011, 06:40 PM | #23 | |
ninjette.org member
Name: Leo
Location: Washington State
Join Date: Oct 2011 Motorcycle(s): Ninja 250 2010 (Sold), 2013 Ninja 300!! Posts: 156
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Quote:
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Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. -BL2 |
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October 26th, 2011, 06:42 PM | #24 |
Newb..... on a steeek! :D
Name: Mike
Location: Windermere, FL
Join Date: Feb 2009 Motorcycle(s): 2012 Harley Davidson XL883L Sportster Superlow Posts: A lot.
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October 26th, 2011, 06:56 PM | #25 | |
#squid
Name: nickypoo
Location: Five Guys
Join Date: Jul 2011 Motorcycle(s): Track dedicated 2008 ZX6R Posts: A lot.
MOTM - Jul '16
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Quote:
I think I already told you my brother has a 3KGT, right?
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October 26th, 2011, 07:11 PM | #26 |
Winging It In Life
Name: Umar
Location: SoCal
Join Date: Aug 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2010 250R; 2011 250R (sold) Posts: A lot.
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So Leo, let me get this straight...
You're with a girl who has a one year old son who isn't yours. I'm assuming that because the kid is just a year old, you two haven't been together that long, am I right? Her family is upset because you bought a bike instead of keeping a two-seater truck, which wouldn't have done you any good anyway, right? So I really only can say that if you do end up staying with this chick for a long time, get used to her family being a-holes. If they're already complaining about a purchase YOU made on YOUR own, just imagine how a-hole-ish they'll be if you move into a house they THINK isn't good enough for their daughter & grandkid or if you get a new job where you won't be spending as much time with the aforementioned kid & girl. I'm not trying to judge you or anything. I'm just saying that if I were in your shoes, I'd say, "F*ck you," to them straight up. Don't feel guilty. Who are they to tell you how to spend your money?
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2011 Kawasaki Ninja 250R (Bought - Apr 22, 2011; Sold - Feb 17, 2015) 2010 Kawasaki Ninja 250R (Bought - May 01, 2017; Current) |
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October 26th, 2011, 07:26 PM | #27 |
ninjette.org certified postwhore
Name: John
Location: Illinois
Join Date: Aug 2011 Motorcycle(s): None yet, yet. Posts: A lot.
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October 26th, 2011, 10:21 PM | #28 | |
Avid Kitteh Poster
Name: Justin
Location: Norcal
Join Date: Sep 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2006 Yamaha TTR 50 SUCK IT Posts: A lot.
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Quote:
ha meh its worth it in my opinion
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I powdercoat stuff Help me pay for my addiction I say funny stuff. http://twitter.com/JustinPWNSyou sometimes... I write like a 12 year old too, http://justinpwnsyou.wordpress.com/ |
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October 26th, 2011, 10:59 PM | #29 |
ninjette.org guru
Name: Nick
Location: Brooklyn
Join Date: Sep 2011 Motorcycle(s): :( Posts: 275
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Sucked that they wanted you to give the kid the S10 'cause your bombin' around on a Ninjette now.
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October 27th, 2011, 12:41 AM | #30 |
ninjette.org sage
Name: Ms.T, Queen of the Night
Location: Ontario, Canada
Join Date: Jun 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2011 Ninja 250 Posts: 938
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Relax and take a deep breath, you're doing great even thinking about people other than yourself.
The young lad should pay his own way and buy his own vehicle in due time, Ownership demands responsibility. The SUV will get you all around when need be. What does the Mom drive? Is she willing to just give it to her son? Don't worry about the rest of them. Tell the step son that you're willing to help him learn to save up to buy a car, with his money, from his job. Financial responsibility is one of the best things you can give him. Handouts are not. And all you need to do is ride safe and realize that it's your money that you worked for, something you wanted for yourself and if needed, remind them that you don't question their purchasing decisions. No one is starving because of a motorcycle. We all need goals and it's wonderful that you reached one of yours. Let the young lad set his own goals and WORK towards achieving it. |
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October 27th, 2011, 12:44 AM | #31 |
ninjette.org sage
Name: Ms.T, Queen of the Night
Location: Ontario, Canada
Join Date: Jun 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2011 Ninja 250 Posts: 938
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October 27th, 2011, 01:54 AM | #32 |
ninjette.org newbie
Name: Francis
Location: Philippines
Join Date: May 2011 Motorcycle(s): '10 Honda Dash, '95 Yamaha Zeal(sold), '09 Kawasaki Ninja 250r(sold), '00 Ducati 748s Posts: 8
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It's your money, not theirs. You have no reason to feel guilty as long as your family is provided for.
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October 27th, 2011, 04:14 AM | #33 |
Newb..... on a steeek! :D
Name: Mike
Location: Windermere, FL
Join Date: Feb 2009 Motorcycle(s): 2012 Harley Davidson XL883L Sportster Superlow Posts: A lot.
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Pssst, NickNYC & Firehorse, his step son is ONE year old. He wouldn't even have gotten the s10 by the time he's old enough to drive.
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October 27th, 2011, 06:41 AM | #34 |
Avid Kitteh Poster
Name: Justin
Location: Norcal
Join Date: Sep 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2006 Yamaha TTR 50 SUCK IT Posts: A lot.
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I powdercoat stuff Help me pay for my addiction I say funny stuff. http://twitter.com/JustinPWNSyou sometimes... I write like a 12 year old too, http://justinpwnsyou.wordpress.com/ |
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October 27th, 2011, 12:16 PM | #35 |
Always.
Name: Alex
Location: Calgary, AB
Join Date: Mar 2011 Motorcycle(s): '08 Ninja 250, '05 GSX-R600 Posts: A lot.
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I'd tell them to **** off and cut child support
HAHAHHAA no seriously don't feel guilty for heaven's sake
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blink-182 |
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October 30th, 2011, 09:49 PM | #36 |
ninjette.org sage
Name: Ms.T, Queen of the Night
Location: Ontario, Canada
Join Date: Jun 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2011 Ninja 250 Posts: 938
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October 30th, 2011, 10:04 PM | #37 |
ninjette.org member
Name: R.
Location: San Francisco, CA
Join Date: Jul 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2009 Ninja 250R Posts: 86
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**** them. It's your life, like the great poet laureate named Bon Jovi so eloquently stated.
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October 31st, 2011, 09:20 AM | #38 |
ninjette.org certified postwhore
Name: Murphey
Location: Eastern Washington
Join Date: Apr 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2002 Honda 919, 2004 Ninja 500R NAKED Posts: A lot.
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I think we're all in agreement you made not only a non-selfish decision, but a generally good one. Motorcycling > driving (in terms of fun, stress relief, etc) Ninjette 60+ mpg > S10 maybe 20mpg? and you traded a two seater for a two seater so nothing lost there.... Sounds like they're just motorcycle prejudiced like so many are. Don't literally tell them to eff off though xD then they really wouldn't like you! Do what you gotta do for your family man, the in-laws are either going to hate you forever because they're stubborn and ignorant or they will realize they're wrong and you've been making the right choices all along and their disapproval may lessen or go away completely.
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October 31st, 2011, 09:42 AM | #39 | |
Love Rival
Name: Brian
Location: Western PA
Join Date: Jun 2010 Motorcycle(s): 2008 Ninja 250r Posts: 449
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Quote:
Sadly, several of my friends' marriages have ended in divorce, partly because spouses where talking to their parents and siblings about their marital issues instead of discussing them with their spouse. Parents and siblings can be toxic in to these situations...being biased for obvious reasons. oh - and if you did discuss the Ninja purchase with your spouse and she thought it was a bad decision and you proceeded with the purchase - that's another issue altogether.
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“Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Dwight Edwards |
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October 31st, 2011, 10:28 PM | #40 |
ninjette.org member
Name: Leo
Location: Washington State
Join Date: Oct 2011 Motorcycle(s): Ninja 250 2010 (Sold), 2013 Ninja 300!! Posts: 156
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Well it dosent really matter any more...she left me so she could "figure herself out".....(we wernt married fyi) ugh...
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Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. -BL2 |
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