Attention Female Riders HELP ME!

[Ducati999]

Hello Everyone,
I have posted several times on this site and I like this site better than a few of the other I have been to. My wife is Philippino she is 42 years old and has been riding since she was around 12 (in the Philippines). She is 5' tall and very beautiful. She is also my best friend and I love to ride with her. Together we have 3 bikes although I had to lower the Ninja 250 for her to be comfortable riding it and she dosent like to ride my SV because it is too tall for her to touch with both feet when stopped. I said all of that before because she had stopped riding for 6-7 years and I just got her back into riding in 2012 when we bought the new Ninja. The reason I need help is she has lost a lot of her confidence. She retook the Motorcycle Safety Course and did so well that the instructor used her to demonstrate a few of the drills. The biggest issue is that she will not ride without me there and I am trying to encourage her to do at least one track day with me. She would like to ride her bike to work (15-20 mins form home and no highway) but she wants me to ride with her then meet her and ride home. The track issue is minor but she has low confidence in her ability yet she is a very capable rider. I just want a few ideas for the ladies on this site as to what I can do to get her confidence up so she will want to ride more. She has put almost 2000 miles on the ninja in the last few years while I have put over 9000 combined miles on the other 2 bikes. Thanks

[TnNinjaGirl]

What is the question?

[Ducati999]

Sorry if I was not clear. I want to know how to make her more confident in her own ability and how to make her love riding more. I want her to love to ride and want to ride all the time.

[TnNinjaGirl]

Well... You can't make a woman do anything she doesn't want to.

My Mom is an avid pillion rider. My stepdad bought her her own Ninja 250 and she never had an interest in riding it. When it comes to the other bikes she is a very large factor in which bike will be purchased. It's just personal preference. Much the same that I won't ride pillion, she won't pilot her own machine. To each their own.

The best way to coax someone is to let them think it is their own idea. This often takes a lot of time and most people don't have the patience to wait so they shove the topic down someone's throat until it is a sore subject. Take a moment, does she have any hobbies you don't enjoy? Does she make you do them?

In summary:

You can't make her ride. You can be patient and nurture her interests and nudge ever so lightly occasionally that you would like to to share your hobbies.

[Snake]

Thank you for insights @TnNinjaGirl. Very well said. Very inteligently stated yet in simple terms that even I can understand.

[rasta]

[old3]

Mini bike and lots of fun riding on a closed course to build her confidence. If you have trails/paths to ride, a little 125 four stroke trail bike will fit her perfectly and is super easy to ride. TTR125, DRZ125, KLX140, CRF150f. Plate one if you can, see below!

If you have a paved area to use, any of them with street tires (cheapo Kendas are fine) or a Grom Honda will be great if you can find it. She could also ride that to work, street legal!

http://powersports.honda.com/2014/gr...a%20grom_pmt_p

[Bill N]

Originally Posted by TnNinjaGirl

Well... You can't make a woman do anything she doesn't want to.

My Mom is an avid pillion rider. My stepdad bought her her own Ninja 250 and she never had an interest in riding it. When it comes to the other bikes she is a very large factor in which bike will be purchased. It's just personal preference. Much the same that I won't ride pillion, she won't pilot her own machine. To each their own.

The best way to coax someone is to let them think it is their own idea. This often takes a lot of time and most people don't have the patience to wait so they shove the topic down someone's throat until it is a sore subject. Take a moment, does she have any hobbies you don't enjoy? Does she make you do them?

In summary:

You can't make her ride. You can be patient and nurture her interests and nudge ever so lightly occasionally that you would like to to share your hobbies.

You won't get any better advice than the above. I'm a skilled street rider with about 55 years of experience. I have my street smarts but have no desire for a track day. To each their own, don't push her into something just to please yourself.
Bill

[alex.s]

why not just ride with her like she wants?

[Tigerpaw]

Originally Posted by Ducati999

Hello Everyone,
I have posted several times on this site and I like this site better than a few of the other I have been to. My wife is Philippino she is 42 years old and has been riding since she was around 12 (in the Philippines). She is 5' tall and very beautiful. She is also my best friend and I love to ride with her. Together we have 3 bikes although I had to lower the Ninja 250 for her to be comfortable riding it and she dosent like to ride my SV because it is too tall for her to touch with both feet when stopped. I said all of that before because she had stopped riding for 6-7 years and I just got her back into riding in 2012 when we bought the new Ninja. The reason I need help is she has lost a lot of her confidence. She retook the Motorcycle Safety Course and did so well that the instructor used her to demonstrate a few of the drills. The biggest issue is that she will not ride without me there and I am trying to encourage her to do at least one track day with me. She would like to ride her bike to work (15-20 mins form home and no highway) but she wants me to ride with her then meet her and ride home. The track issue is minor but she has low confidence in her ability yet she is a very capable rider. I just want a few ideas for the ladies on this site as to what I can do to get her confidence up so she will want to ride more. She has put almost 2000 miles on the ninja in the last few years while I have put over 9000 combined miles on the other 2 bikes. Thanks

First world problems...lol

[fishdip]

Some people just don't like riding.

[terasu12]

Originally Posted by TnNinjaGirl

What is the question?

How to convince wife/best friend to have confidence in herself? If only i knew. I want the confidence pill too. Baptism by fire, send her to drive in Tijuana and she will never be afraid ever again. If she makes it of ocurse

[Ducati999]

Thanks to everyone who replied. I love to ride with my wife and we do ride quite a bit I would just like her to want to ride more. She is a very skilled rider and she can also ride well off road. I would just like her to be comfortable enough to ride by herself to work and enjoy riding with me more also. I want to be clear that i am not pushing her to ride on the track, I will be doing my first track day this summer and she was planning on joining me then she backed out. I took her to the website for the track day and after that she said she would only watch me but not ride. I believe she was intimidated by all the large bikes she saw and she believes she might hold someone up if she is not fast enough (i explained how it works and that it would not be that way). I have even introduced her to a few of the people that work at the track day and she is still a little shy. I know she likes to ride and if she will only ride with me i will be fine with that i was just looking for a few ideas to get her more psyched about the whole thing. She will eventually ride to work by herself just to show the biker boys at her shop she can do it and she may even hit the track after seeing me there. I guess i will just have to be patient and watch her flower bloom! Thanks again for all the input and keep riding.

Maybe there are some female riders in the Worcester Sturbridge area who could put together an all girls ride so she can get out with other women in the area and see that she dosent need me there to feel safe.

I added some pics of my beautiful wife, The ninja, SV & Ducati and the Icon Jacket i just bought her in purple!

[tnr4]

Originally Posted by Ducati999

I will be doing my first track day this summer and she was planning on joining me then she backed out. I took her to the website for the track day and after that she said she would only watch me but not ride. I believe she was intimidated by all the large bikes she saw and she believes she might hold someone up if she is not fast enough (i explained how it works and that it would not be that way).

Just a thought: she might not be wrong about the track day, at least at her current confidence level. My first track day, there was a couple there for the wife's first track day, and it clearly made her very uncomfortable. The NESBA guys did everything they could for her, even dedicating a full time CR for her to follow at her pace, but she was going street speeds, which means every noob with something to prove was looking for a way to blast by her. She clearly didn't enjoy it, which I can't say I blame her for -- getting constantly buzzed by noobs on supersports; they left after the second session of the day.

All that's to say: an open track day may not be fun for her, even though everyone preaches the 'ride your own ride' for the beginner group. Maybe if you could find an actual class (limited enrollment, one-on-one coaching, etc)?

Good luck. You're a lucky man already for sharing some of this hobby with your partner. I hope you two figure out a mutually agreeable path forward.

[NevadaWolf]

For the track, if your local org offers a demo or introduction ride, see if she would be interested in signing up. My local group does a "Try the Track" while everyone else is at lunch. Its a guided tour of the course for a few laps.

Another idea is maybe see if she would be interested in riding the sighting lap at the beginning of the day. Not sure if all groups do this, but here they lead out all the C-group riders at a comfortable pace to give them a sense of the track. She may be able to find a coach who will work with her and make sure she's going a speed she's happy with. Might be an expensive one session day but if she is interested it may help her get a sense of what happens out there.

Or, while you are riding, she may find someone track side who is also nervous and they may end up talking and help build each others confidence knowing someone else is out there who is just as new and just as cautious.

[broken neck]

Originally Posted by alex.s

why not just ride with her like she wants?

Excellent point...

Ride with her as often as you can, that way she might feel more comfortable. Who knows, one day she might go ride on her own...

If that day never come, well, it's her life, can't do nothing about it.

[algs26]

I think zz does a safety class in the parking lot. At the end of the day, they do a few slow laps on the track. Maybe you can find something like that near you.
https://z2trackdays.com/ti/z2/content/RR20.html

If that doesn't work, inception.