[onewheeldrive.net] - The ?Wrongway? Affair: Act III ? Fictions and Questions

[Ninjette Newsbot]

In Act III of "The Wrongway Affair," two fictional characters C and N discuss the bizarre events of Acts I and II. They have questions, maybe questions not fictional people in the real world are thinking. But, being characters in a play, what do they know? **** gets meta.

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ACT III IS HUGELY DIFFERENT TO ACT I AND ACT II OF “THE WRONGWAY AFFAIR”. AS THE HOUSE LIGHTS GO DOWN, THE AUDIENCE SEES TWO MEN, THEY ARE NAMED “C” AND “N”. EACH ARE IN A POOL OF LIGHT. THEY CHATTING ON CELL PHONES, SEPERATED BY A COUNTRY, AND DIVIDED BY FROM OUR REALITY BY THE FOURTH WALL OF FICTION. IN A VERY META, IMAGINARY, AND ENTIRELY NON-SLANDEROUS LEGAL WAY THE TWO CHARACTERS ARE DISCUSSING THE FIRST TWO ACTS OF “THE WRONG WAY AFFAIR”.

N

There’s a ton of coincidences, weird behaviour, almost as weird as this play thing, and just so much what-the-****…
I need a sanity check.
You’re outside rally. You’re outside motorcycling, what do you think?

C EXCLAIMS

That it reads like Dumb and Dumber planned a bank heist?
I have questions! So many questions!

N IN VOICE OVER

C is a friend from outside rally and the motorcycle industry, and has great people senses and piece-it-together instincts.* Having read ACT I and ACT II of the Wrongway Affair, C has questions, as do I.* So we’re asking questions, all the questions, even the outrageous ones, but I doubt we’ll find good answers…

C

So, Wrongway nearly killed a guy, going the wrong way on a the course?

N

Yes. He put up an argument about the race course being like a two lane road, that sounds like BS doesn’t it?

C

I call bullshit.
It’s a race course, don’t you all go the same direction? Isn’t that the point?
And there was no investigation? Did they test him for drugs, alcohol, anything?
Someone drives the wrong way down a one-way street, the cops immediately determine if they are under the influence.

N

No, it’s a rally in the Baja… I swear it’s like a strange fictional universe. It’s own little bubble.
There’s law, but not “call the investigator” law.

C

You are shitting me!
He was going the wrong way!?!
He collided with another rider!?!* Did he wait with the guy for help? Wait for officials? Medical assistance?!?

N Shrugs

C

Wait. Wait! WAIT! WAIT!
Why didn’t he just say sorry, and ask if he could make things right?

N

I, honestly don’t know? Hubris? Narcissism? Not Canadian?
Didn’t the voice over said we probably wouldn’t get answers?

N IN VOICE OVER

Looking at the Wrongway Affair from an outsider’s perspective, you realize how freaking ludicrous it sounds that there was no investigation.* As you remember from ACT II, The very fictional Race Director (and by extension the fictional organization NORMA) are on record as not looking at the tracks for Wrongway and the racer he hit until Day 3 of the event. The tracks, that would have cleared up the directions the men were going, and which Wrongway attempted to sow doubt on.

C

Ok, so just to be clear, then he backtracked on the course again?

N

Yes, reading the press release that’s the infraction he was disqualified for. I think because there were witnesses?

C

What the hell, was he on drugs?!?

N

Mental illness?
Massive entitlement?

C

His entitlement doesn’t look that massive.

N

Bwah-snort!

C

I went through his YouTube, could he just be a mid-tier social influencer man-child?

N IN VOICE OVER

Since reading ACT I and ACT II, C has tore through Wrongway’s social media with a thoroughness and speed that puts any professional analyst I’ve encountered to shame.* He may have missed his calling. Unfortunately, consulting detectives are found in another play.

C

The voice over is creeping me out.
Would Ducati have called him that night?

N

I don’t know. How long would it have taken them to get word of the collision?

C

Dude, a brand new rally bike…* A sponsored racer injuring another rider… Isn’t that a boardroom full of lawyers at midnight call?
Wouldn’t a guy like this be a big PR liability?

N

So the press release in ACT II said Wrongway was told there were penalties against him the morning of Day 2, but the Race Officials, Director, and Ducati would have know, wouldn’t they?
If he’d received a talking to, would that that have been a factor in sending the crash video to the victims’ partner?

C

WTF… That’s messed up…

N

Isn’t sending a video like that is chargeable as assault under Canadian law?

C

Wow… Just wow…
Ok, so what if Ducati talked to him the night of Day 1?
What if they said something like, “We’ll let you finish the rally, but we’re letting you go as a rider after this?”
Would this Wrongway guy have a hissy fit?
Is the word “unhinged” floating around?

A Styrofoam word “unhinged” drops from the ceiling on fishing line, bobs around for a second or two as the men watch it. It’s then retracted back into the rafters.

Would he “Burn his Bridges”?

N

Jeezuz! Are you pondering, what I’m pondering Pinky?

C

I don’t know Brain, but are modern vehicles really that flammable when surrounded by sand?

N

Not to brag, but I’ve crashed a few times.
The bikes never burnt – like 150ft down a cliff… no flames.
100% of the time, no burning.
Lots of friends and acquaintances have crashed, no burning.

C

Isn’t Ducati going to be pulling that thing apart, going over every little detail. Would it have anything in the ECU?

N

If it’s not too crispy, maybe there would be some recording of engine temperature, electrical faults, if it was running or not, battery draw, I don’t know other running state information?
Could they find the cause? N Shrugs

C

If it’s severely burnt, wouldn’t insurance investigators probably would have the experience?

N

I don’t know? It could have been wiring damage from the crash, but the body of the bike is well protected. Crash bars, skid plates, racing tower. The works.

Did anyone said anything about it crashing?
I don’t think so?
Other than the collision the day before, but wouldn’t a crew have gone over it that night?

C

How badly would a new bike catching fire tarnish Ducati’s reputation?

N

Oooof, brand new rally bike…
How many writers hear “Ducati” and “fire” and run for the nearest callback to Ducati’s bad old days?* I know I did…

[Wait a beat]

Shit… That would be bad.

C

Alex, I’d like to take “Childish Revenge for 10,000 please?”

N

Boop-boop-boop – Double Jeopardy…
Doesn’t that put Ducati in a bad spot?
If they say it’s an “external cause”, not the bike, who is going to believe them?
N air quotes the words “external cause”.

[Wait a beat]

You know what’s weird?

C

What? Like any of this is normal? I haven’t been using WTF often enough.

N

What was the Race Director doing out riding the route on Day 2?

The press release says, “notification of disqualification has been delayed for being a lower priority than the safety of riders on course during competition”…

Why isn’t he busier than a box of gophers after a firecracker? Why isn’t he reviewing the tracking for the collision?

What are the odds he’s around to double Wrongway out on his KTM EXC when Wrongway has his “technical difficulties” with the Ducati?

C

Doesn’t that sound like bullshit?
Doesn’t that sound like pocket full of bullshit cards?
Like a freaking four-of-a-kind of BULLSHIT?!?

N

What are the odds of that type of coincidence?
I mean, 2km from the highway according to online tracking? Isn’t that walking distance? Even in gear?

C

Doesn’t that sound like the ROYAL FLUSH OF BULLSHIT?!?!

N

We’re going to need more bullshit cards.
But, in fairness, the Race Director would have headed out after the start. Doesn’t that mean he’d be effectively riding sweep for the course?
That make it sound less bullshitty? Right?

[Wait for a beat]

C

So what’s the deal between the Race Director, sorry the “RD”, and Wrongway?
It’s like he did everything not to disqualify him from the race?

N

That mystifies me. The RD is salty, not a hold back type.

C

Would he even blink at disqualifying someone normally?

N shrugs

N

The photographer was wondering, “Why when questioned about DQing this kid, the RD is suddenly getting all word salad-y.”? Why do you think that is?

C

10,000 followers?

N

Motorcycle magazine connections?
Cartel ties?

C

Love child?
Drugs?

N

Does it always come bat to drugs with you?
Family money?

C

Bromance?

C and N break into a gale of laughter, then simultaneously…

EEEEEEEeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!

[Wait a beat as the both C & N recover.]

N

This is how conspiracy theories get started, isn’t it?

C

Can you make a murder wall of this?

N

How much yarn, and how many post-it notes will I need?
And, can I rewatch Fear and Loathing first? Aren’t we in gonzo territory now?

C

Isn’t that supposed to be bat country?

N

Maybe UFO country by the looks of the feature image? Why is that there?

C

To prove we’re in a work of fiction, and that we are in no way is talking about real people, no matter how meta we get referring to ACT I andACT II .

N

Meta? How about contrived?

[Wait for a beat]

You know who I feel sorry for?

C

Who?

N

The other Ducati rider?

C

There’s another Ducati rider?

N

Exactly.