Sigh, add my bike (and friend) to the statistics.. - Page 2

Anteraan · June 14th, 2011, 08:14 PM

I'm going to "pile on" with everyone who (for lack of a better term) has a low opinion of your friend. I saw this coming in the original story, but then again, my father was an alcoholic.

Simply put, "You are who you run with". For you to be a true friend to him, you would have organized your common friends, involved his family, and had an intervention. I know he may not have been ready to be helped (most addicts have to hit rock bottom first), but you (and everyone else involved) would have had a great basis to not enable him further, which is apparently what happened...and led directly to this incident.

If he was really your friend, he would have responded (even as an addict) in some way/shape/form to the intervention I'm not saying he would have gone cold turkey, but he might have started acting more responsibly and respectfully, especially towards other people's private property.

All that said, I question how good of a friendship you two ever had. You might have spent a ton of time together and been through a lot, but true friends don't let friends suffer with addiction, much less enable it.

I've been pretty strong here, and you very well may not like what I have to say. That's ok. But from someone who has been there, let me tell you this:
One path to a much easier life, is to get those troublesome people out of your life, period. Those who are irresponsible (not acutely, but chronically) are not people I need to invest time in. If I choose to, it's because I see something in them, and I intend to HELP them. If I don't think they can be helped right now, I invest my time in other responsible people. It makes my life a whole lot easier, and we reinforce each others' positive, responsible, and successful behavior patterns.

Doing this has helped me reach a level of inner peace I never knew existed. I hope you find the strength to try this, and that it does the same for you.

I'm glad everyone is ok.

Mekkakat · June 15th, 2011, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anteraan

I'm going to "pile on" with everyone who (for lack of a better term) has a low opinion of your friend. I saw this coming in the original story, but then again, my father was an alcoholic.

Simply put, "You are who you run with". For you to be a true friend to him, you would have organized your common friends, involved his family, and had an intervention. I know he may not have been ready to be helped (most addicts have to hit rock bottom first), but you (and everyone else involved) would have had a great basis to not enable him further, which is apparently what happened...and led directly to this incident.

If he was really your friend, he would have responded (even as an addict) in some way/shape/form to the intervention I'm not saying he would have gone cold turkey, but he might have started acting more responsibly and respectfully, especially towards other people's private property.

All that said, I question how good of a friendship you two ever had. You might have spent a ton of time together and been through a lot, but true friends don't let friends suffer with addiction, much less enable it.

I've been pretty strong here, and you very well may not like what I have to say. That's ok. But from someone who has been there, let me tell you this:
One path to a much easier life, is to get those troublesome people out of your life, period. Those who are irresponsible (not acutely, but chronically) are not people I need to invest time in. If I choose to, it's because I see something in them, and I intend to HELP them. If I don't think they can be helped right now, I invest my time in other responsible people. It makes my life a whole lot easier, and we reinforce each others' positive, responsible, and successful behavior patterns.

Doing this has helped me reach a level of inner peace I never knew existed. I hope you find the strength to try this, and that it does the same for you.

I'm glad everyone is ok.

He really started showings signs of this being a real problem this year, and not even 2 weeks before all of this happened, me and two of my other friends were talking of ways to confront him.

He claims he's bipolar and manic depressive, and while he does have prescriptions for those claims, he never takes the medicine and instead has self prescribed himself copious amounts of pot instead :rollseyes:

After this past week, I feel more and more like it's not worth my frustration at this point. The bike is ridable, with time will look fine, and I guess I'll just move on without him.

Bosgarage57 · June 15th, 2011, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mekkakat

After this past week, I feel more and more like it's not worth my frustration at this point. The bike is ridable, with time will look fine, and I guess I'll just move on without him.

If you choice is to move on, and close the friendship (sometimes you just have to, I've had to with my own friends for the drugs I didnt want to be around), then YOU.GET.YOUR.BIKE.FIXED. He needs to pay for what he's done.

phEight · August 2nd, 2011, 09:02 PM

Yikes, you mentioning he's bipolar and prescribed medications changes my entire perspective of this guy. Be aware bipolar people in manic episodes (which are VERY often triggered and compounded by the use of pot) can be highly unstable and do what pleases them moment by moment. Often times that includes saying or doing things that are manipulative and hurtful. I might be wrong, but in some months, when his depressive episode hits, which I assure you it will, he will be in such despair (understatement) over his actions and be extremely regretful. Not just about the incident with your bike, but with his drinking, the way he lied about not being able to work (which really might not be much of a lie at all... I have a bipolar friend who has gone through 18 jobs and he's barely in his mid 20's, one of the intelligent people I know).

You mentioned he's 23... he's at an age where he has yet to have enough bad **** happen to him because of his disorder. Sooner or later when his life keeps ****ing up because of his inability to recognize he has a true disorder that he needs to take medications for, he will seek help and actually take his medications as directed.

Him going out all the time and all that jazz is so typical of manic phases. I'll bet often times he babbles on incoherently, drunk or not drunk, flights of thought, etc. Don't feel hurt over his actions (as hard as that may be). Just let them be. Bipolar disorder is some serious ****, especially uncontrolled and especially with using pot and alcohol.

Sorry to hear about your bike, but I know in some years, you and your bike will be having a great time and the $ involved in this situation will not be that big of a deal. Your 'friend' here, will still be going through a lot of ****. I hope he gets the help he needs.

2011Ninja250R · August 6th, 2011, 05:49 PM

Vampyre hit the nail right on the head in the 2nd response to your thread.

Skippii · August 22nd, 2011, 06:54 PM

Patching up that bike is going to be very easy compared to patching up that friendship. I wish you the best of luck on both.

Edit: I want to clarify that a bit more, because I've been on both sides of situations that have played out in very different ways.

I've had friends who have needed help who decided to end the friendship when I've offered to help.
I've had friends who have ended the friendship when I needed help.
The friends I still have are the ones who have been there to help, whether I wanted it or not.

Mocha Man · August 30th, 2011, 06:22 PM

Wow... I'm glad to see you're still his friend at least. I couldn't say I would've done the same thing! Actually, I'm not sure how I would've reacted. I'd be glad he was alright, pissed he wrecked my bike, and infuriated that he didn't listen to me.

bdavison · August 30th, 2011, 06:53 PM

Im gonna say it once, and hopefully it sticks.
NEVER LET PEOPLE GET ON YOUR BIKE!

This kinda stuff happens all the time. If you let someone get on your bike, then you should be prepared to have something like this happen.

That still doesnt mean he isn't responsible. He should pay IN FULL for the damages to your bike from his stupidity.

Where I'm from, fondling or touching another man's bike is like touching his woman. You just dont do it. And if you do, be prepared for a serious arse kickin.

ninja250 · August 31st, 2011, 01:35 AM

The guy is a loser and you shouldn't have let him anywhere near your bike, which you did.

It's both your faults.

Nobody who has been drinking comes anywhere near my ride for any reason.

Quote:

arse

London? Haha jk

August 6th, 2011, 05:49 PM	#45
2011Ninja250R ninjette.org guru Name: Brad Location: Centerville, OH Join Date: Jul 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2011 Ninja 250R SE (Green) Previous bikes R1, Daytona 675, GSXR600, Pre-Gen 250R Posts: 330	Vampyre hit the nail right on the head in the 2nd response to your thread. __________________________________________________ '11 Green SE - 2 Bros Blk Series CF, Factory Pro Jet Kit, Spiegler Lines, ZG Windscreen, Pazzo Levers, CW Fender Elim, Custom LED Integrated Tail Light, Protons, OEM Seat Cowl & Ti ProBolts.

August 22nd, 2011, 06:54 PM	#46
Skippii Milkshake Drinker Name: Skippii Location: Richmond, Va Join Date: Aug 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2007 Orange DRZ400-S, 2005 Ninja 250 & Custom Thundercunt Dirt Chopper Posts: A lot.	Patching up that bike is going to be very easy compared to patching up that friendship. I wish you the best of luck on both. Edit: I want to clarify that a bit more, because I've been on both sides of situations that have played out in very different ways. I've had friends who have needed help who decided to end the friendship when I've offered to help. I've had friends who have ended the friendship when I needed help. The friends I still have are the ones who have been there to help, whether I wanted it or not. __________________________________________________ "What a sweetheart."- ninja_sleeper to me

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June 14th, 2011, 08:14 PM	#41
Anteraan ninjette.org member Name: Scott Location: Indianapolis Join Date: Jun 2009 Motorcycle(s): 2009 Ninja 250 (Blue) Posts: 167	I'm going to "pile on" with everyone who (for lack of a better term) has a low opinion of your friend. I saw this coming in the original story, but then again, my father was an alcoholic. Simply put, "You are who you run with". For you to be a true friend to him, you would have organized your common friends, involved his family, and had an intervention. I know he may not have been ready to be helped (most addicts have to hit rock bottom first), but you (and everyone else involved) would have had a great basis to not enable him further, which is apparently what happened...and led directly to this incident. If he was really your friend, he would have responded (even as an addict) in some way/shape/form to the intervention I'm not saying he would have gone cold turkey, but he might have started acting more responsibly and respectfully, especially towards other people's private property. All that said, I question how good of a friendship you two ever had. You might have spent a ton of time together and been through a lot, but true friends don't let friends suffer with addiction, much less enable it. I've been pretty strong here, and you very well may not like what I have to say. That's ok. But from someone who has been there, let me tell you this: One path to a much easier life, is to get those troublesome people out of your life, period. Those who are irresponsible (not acutely, but chronically) are not people I need to invest time in. If I choose to, it's because I see something in them, and I intend to HELP them. If I don't think they can be helped right now, I invest my time in other responsible people. It makes my life a whole lot easier, and we reinforce each others' positive, responsible, and successful behavior patterns. Doing this has helped me reach a level of inner peace I never knew existed. I hope you find the strength to try this, and that it does the same for you. I'm glad everyone is ok.

August 2nd, 2011, 09:02 PM	#44
phEight ninjette.org newbie Name: phEight Location: Houston Join Date: Jun 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2011 Ninja 250 - White/Black Posts: 8	Yikes, you mentioning he's bipolar and prescribed medications changes my entire perspective of this guy. Be aware bipolar people in manic episodes (which are VERY often triggered and compounded by the use of pot) can be highly unstable and do what pleases them moment by moment. Often times that includes saying or doing things that are manipulative and hurtful. I might be wrong, but in some months, when his depressive episode hits, which I assure you it will, he will be in such despair (understatement) over his actions and be extremely regretful. Not just about the incident with your bike, but with his drinking, the way he lied about not being able to work (which really might not be much of a lie at all... I have a bipolar friend who has gone through 18 jobs and he's barely in his mid 20's, one of the intelligent people I know). You mentioned he's 23... he's at an age where he has yet to have enough bad ** happen to him because of his disorder. Sooner or later when his life keeps ing up because of his inability to recognize he has a true disorder that he needs to take medications for, he will seek help and actually take his medications as directed. Him going out all the time and all that jazz is so typical of manic phases. I'll bet often times he babbles on incoherently, drunk or not drunk, flights of thought, etc. Don't feel hurt over his actions (as hard as that may be). Just let them be. Bipolar disorder is some serious , especially uncontrolled and especially with using pot and alcohol. Sorry to hear about your bike, but I know in some years, you and your bike will be having a great time and the $ involved in this situation will not be that big of a deal. Your 'friend' here, will still be going through a lot of **. I hope he gets the help he needs.

August 30th, 2011, 06:22 PM	#47
Mocha Man Blue Shell magnet Name: Nolan Location: Northwest Washington Join Date: Aug 2011 Motorcycle(s): 1997 Ninja 250 Posts: 816	Wow... I'm glad to see you're still his friend at least. I couldn't say I would've done the same thing! Actually, I'm not sure how I would've reacted. I'd be glad he was alright, pissed he wrecked my bike, and infuriated that he didn't listen to me.

August 30th, 2011, 06:53 PM	#48
bdavison Wartown, USA Name: Bryan Location: Warner Robins, GA Join Date: Nov 2009 Motorcycle(s): 2009 Ninja 250R SE, 2007 Ninja 650R, and assorted other bikes Posts: A lot.	Im gonna say it once, and hopefully it sticks. NEVER LET PEOPLE GET ON YOUR BIKE! This kinda stuff happens all the time. If you let someone get on your bike, then you should be prepared to have something like this happen. That still doesnt mean he isn't responsible. He should pay IN FULL for the damages to your bike from his stupidity. Where I'm from, fondling or touching another man's bike is like touching his woman. You just dont do it. And if you do, be prepared for a serious arse kickin.