It is written......

[ninjabrewer]

The Man Rules*******************
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear From the female side.
' the rules'
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

A friend who used to be my cousin, (don't ask it's a Southern thing) sent me this, and I thought the forum would enjoy it.

nb

[OldGuy]

At the risk of endangering my marriage I may share this with my better half, or maybe not hmmmmm

[kkim]

[kkim]

Originally Posted by OldGuy

At the risk of endangering my marriage I may share this with my better half, or maybe not hmmmmm

sure, you got your bike... what does it matter anymore?? go ahead... I dare ya'!

[OldGuy]

My Wife has the following comments:

We always hear From the female side. ' the rules' Now here are the rules from the male side. These are Guidelines not Rules

Shopping is NOT a sport. Unless shopping for a motor cycle, motor cycle accessories, motor cycle . . .

1. Crying is blackmail. Who cries!

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it! Can't argue with this one after living with "him" for 44 years

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
What happened to the art of conversation?

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Some things can't be solved. All you need to do is listen!

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. Anything "you" said isn't memorable more than a day later.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us. Guess we will have to go to our GF on this one.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one Coward !!!


1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. This sounds like my husband talking.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. Not worthy of a response [but she made me type this in]

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. When all else FAILS . . .

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. It's a pity.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that. Just do it in private please.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. So we're not worth the hassle?

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. That's deep

1. You have enough clothes. You have enough "toys".

If I'm still posting at 2:00 am CST you'll know why and it's all nb fault.

[Countrygirl]

This is hilarious! I loved it! That is too true from a guys persepective.

Oldguy: Love your wife's responses!

Go see the movie: He's just not that into you. Hilarious! Not really a chick flick. More of a comedy really.

[Nemy]

lol so are you "camping" tonight oldguy?

and as per the great Russell Peters:

If a guy says he's thinking about nothing, he means he's thinking about NOTHING!

[OldGuy]

Originally Posted by Nemy

lol so are you "camping" tonight oldguy?
NOTHING!

Sorry for the late reply the wife even let me sleep in this morning

[kkim]

didn't disturb you on the couch, eh??

[OldGuy]

[Viper-Byte]

Ha ha ha, that is great!