BREAKING: Friend Who Just Got Motorcycle Already Dead

Warstrider · October 1st, 2012, 10:47 AM

http://www.theonion.com/articles/bre...eady-de,29685/

The Onion News

BRIDGEPORT, CT—Moments after purchasing a new Kawasaki Ninja 250R, your friend Pete has already been killed, bystanders outside the motorcycle dealership have just confirmed. "Boy, that didn't last long," said bike salesman Chris Varrick, adding that “no more than 10 seconds” after becoming a bike owner, Pete lost control of his motorcycle, collided with an 18-wheeler, was flung approximately 30 yards, and died upon impact with the pavement. "He handed over the check, thanked me, and took off down Jackson Road. And then he died." At press time, Pete's younger brother, who inherited the bike, has also already died

Heed · October 1st, 2012, 10:48 AM

Seems legit.

xSean13 · October 1st, 2012, 10:52 AM

That ninja 250 looks different in the picture....

Anyways, great post, glad I wasted my time in here.

ryan.chin · October 1st, 2012, 10:58 AM

Not too funny, considering many of us have had friends who have passed away recently on their bikes.

Let's be a bit more considerate.

Malicious Logic · October 1st, 2012, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan.chin

Not too funny, considering many of us have had friends who have passed away recently on their bikes.

Let's be a bit more considerate.

Was thinking this actually...or that it's an actual motorcycling forum, but bah! what do I know?

psych0hans · October 1st, 2012, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan.chin

Not too funny, considering many of us have had friends who have passed away recently on their bikes.

Let's be a bit more considerate.

Geez, I got a mini heart attack when I read this...

Maybe I'm getting too jumpy, but bike accidents really scare the S**T out of me and I'm much rather not have that extra pressure on me always while riding. Losing Alex was bad enough and reading such posts really makes me nervous. Sorry if I'm being overly sensitive and emo about this...

alex.s · October 1st, 2012, 11:45 AM

I like the onion. But this simply isn't funny.

lgk · October 1st, 2012, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alex.s

I like the onion. But this simply isn't funny.

+1

menikmati · October 1st, 2012, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alex.s

I like the onion. But this simply isn't funny.

Tru dat.

xSean13 · October 1st, 2012, 12:30 PM

just kidding

slickt0mmy · October 1st, 2012, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alex.s

I like the onion. But this simply isn't funny.

Agreed.

ninjaone · October 1st, 2012, 01:06 PM

I think posting this here was in extremely poor taste. The Onion is a comedy/satire web site, so reading that headline on their own website I would understand it's a joke on the Onion, but seeing that headline as a subject line on a motorcycle forum - for anyone who has been riding for any amount of time - is just totally inappropriate.

bbonds007 · October 1st, 2012, 01:11 PM

I hate the Onion, mainly because of people like the Op who then take the titles and repost them on forums/twitter, which results in lots of pissed off people.

Nemesis · October 1st, 2012, 01:12 PM

So, is this a joke or legit? Any other links to confirm this?

Monkeytofu · October 1st, 2012, 01:12 PM

It's only funny until it's about things you have an interest in huh?

I wonder if this in the print edition of the onion, I'll have to pick it up and clip it out

seanshawnS · October 1st, 2012, 01:15 PM

Satire is apparently lost when it's applied to a serious issue.. so basically everything satire has ever been applied to.

Course "the onion" should be included in topic title.

ninjaone · October 1st, 2012, 01:17 PM

I don't think the point is that it's satire, the point is that it was posted to a motorcycle forum where people do have friends who have died recently.

The Onion is fine, they make fun of everything from religion to 9/11 to cancer. The thing is, would you go to a cancer support group forum and post this headline there just because it involves cancer?

http://www.theonion.com/video/a-frie...-health,14131/

I don't think the article is a problem, but posting it here in the way that he did was in poor taste, IMO.

Racer x · October 1st, 2012, 01:17 PM

Read some of the other stories. What a pile. These ass hats are just stupid. Not funny not clever nothing. I am pissed I waisted 30 seconds reading it.

adouglas · October 1st, 2012, 02:23 PM

Bridgeport doesn't even have a Kawi dealer. I know. I lived there for 25 years and now live in the next town over.

Yeah, the bit is tasteless and offensive. But then again so is most sarcastic humor, at least to someone, somewhere. This one just happens to be a hot button for us. God help us if we all start walking around looking over our shoulder for the political correctness police. We started down that path in the 80s and thankfully it never stuck.

Jiggles · October 1st, 2012, 02:31 PM

If the title was "friend just got corvette, died from crash" no one here would be offended....

Isn't that interesting?

checho323 · October 1st, 2012, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psych0hans

Geez, I got a mini heart attack when I read this...

Maybe I'm getting too jumpy, but bike accidents really scare the S**T out of me and I'm much rather not have that extra pressure on me always while riding. Losing Alex was bad enough and reading such posts really makes me nervous. Sorry if I'm being overly sensitive and emo about this...

I agree 100%. I lost a very close friend about 6 months ago. Don't like reading when any rider goes down.

massacremasses · October 1st, 2012, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiggles

If the title was "friend just got corvette, died from crash" no one here would be offended....

Isn't that interesting?

Agreed.

Although I also agree with Alex that this one just wasnt funny.

lgk · October 1st, 2012, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by massacremasses

Agreed.

Although I also agree with Alex that this one just wasnt funny.

yea, my mind went there too...

Lil_Green_Demon · October 1st, 2012, 07:10 PM

This is obviously a touchy subject on a motorcycle message board because we all have experienced a crash one way or another, and just knowing that someone finds it funny that people die from motorcycle crashes everyday is pretty saddening.

With that Corvette example given earlier, you have to wonder about this:
If this were posted on a 'Vette forum, would anyone get offended? Probably not. But I'm pretty sure if someone mocked a Corvette owner dying in a crash on a 'Vette forum, it wouldn't be seen as a very good joke.

Just my 0.02

psych0hans · October 1st, 2012, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiggles

If the title was "friend just got corvette, died from crash" no one here would be offended....

I beg to differ... Anyone dying in any sort of crash is never going to be funny... Death ain't no joke

massacremasses · October 1st, 2012, 08:06 PM

Satire is generally dark.

Jiggles · October 1st, 2012, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psych0hans

I beg to differ... Anyone dying in any sort of crash is never going to be funny... Death ain't no joke

I present to you George Washington running over and killing Osama Bin Laden

Your point is invalid

psych0hans · October 1st, 2012, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiggles

I present to you George Washington running over and killing Osama Bin Laden

Your point is invalid

NevadaWolf · October 1st, 2012, 08:36 PM

As soon as the first line of the post showed the Onion, I realized it was a joke. Funny or offensive, it was fake and I read it as such. Strangely, I was thinking Pete's younger brother would be revealed to be named Repeat (like the kid's joke).

Regardless, in an environment where the joke situation can be uncomfortably real, having some notice it is a joke might be appropriate. Just my two cents.

And WTH was that Robot Chicken on crack video that I just watched? @Jiggles how do you FIND these??

dirty nasty · October 1st, 2012, 08:38 PM

This was posted on a local riding forum I'm a member of. They found it funny from what I remember. However, the thread appears to be missing...hmm...

nvm, i found it

http://www.bandofriders.net/forums/s...ad.php?t=68171

Jiggles · October 1st, 2012, 08:39 PM

@NevadaWolf, No that was a real commercial with some special effects. Have you not see My Video Thread?

IdRatherDrum · October 2nd, 2012, 09:58 PM

This is too bad. So sad when you read things like this. People trying to fulfill their riding dreams and it just gets crushed seconds later...not cool.

massacremasses · October 2nd, 2012, 10:24 PM

ohh boy...

Its the onion bro...

NevadaWolf · October 2nd, 2012, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiggles

Have you not see My Video Thread?

After the warped cat videos, I became somewhat scared to continue on.

Jiggles · October 2nd, 2012, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NevadaWolf

After the warped cat videos, I became somewhat scared to continue on.

You dont like kitty city!?

NevadaWolf · October 2nd, 2012, 11:16 PM

@Jiggles oh I do, catchy little tune there, plus I had seen it before. I was just concerned about how deep that rabbit hole went. You do tend to collect some ... unique videos. Much as I like flirting with the edges of the realms of Chaos, diving head first into their Court is not my idea of a good time. LOL

arnoldc6 · October 3rd, 2012, 04:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nemesis

So, is this a joke or legit? Any other links to confirm this?

It's the onion bro. It's not real.

And honestly, gtfo might be a good idea. This isn't funny at all.

akcalhoun · October 3rd, 2012, 04:20 AM

i got a rly good laugh and enjoyed the satire, because this is how many non riders thinks it works. many think the second u buy a bike its a death sentence and ur dead in 2 weeks tops. i wont argue its more dangerous to ride a motorcycle bcuz if u wreck ull prly get injured worse, but i got a rly good laugh bcuz many people believe this make-believe senario to be the norm.

csmith12 · October 3rd, 2012, 04:35 AM

Satire is fine and all, this one just fails during execution.

THE BIG SITT · October 3rd, 2012, 04:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiggles

I present to you George Washington running over and killing Osama Bin Laden

Your point is invalid

There you have it ladies and gentlemen. On this stupid thread, we have had the privilege to witness Jiggles' greatest contribution to this website. Its all downhill from here folks.

October 1st, 2012, 10:47 AM	#1
Warstrider ninjette.org member Name: Vlad Location: Seattle, USA Join Date: Sep 2012 Motorcycle(s): none yet (deposit for Ninja 300 ABS) Posts: 23	BREAKING: Friend Who Just Got Motorcycle Already Dead http://www.theonion.com/articles/bre...eady-de,29685/ The Onion News BRIDGEPORT, CT—Moments after purchasing a new Kawasaki Ninja 250R, your friend Pete has already been killed, bystanders outside the motorcycle dealership have just confirmed. "Boy, that didn't last long," said bike salesman Chris Varrick, adding that “no more than 10 seconds” after becoming a bike owner, Pete lost control of his motorcycle, collided with an 18-wheeler, was flung approximately 30 yards, and died upon impact with the pavement. "He handed over the check, thanked me, and took off down Jackson Road. And then he died." At press time, Pete's younger brother, who inherited the bike, has also already died

October 1st, 2012, 10:48 AM	#2
Heed ninjette.org certified postwhore Name: John Location: Illinois Join Date: Aug 2011 Motorcycle(s): None yet, yet. Posts: A lot.	Seems legit. __________________________________________________ The Rush is Addictive

October 1st, 2012, 10:58 AM	#4
ryan.chin ninjette.org sage Name: Ryan Location: Columbia, MD Join Date: Jul 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2007 R6 Posts: 605	Not too funny, considering many of us have had friends who have passed away recently on their bikes. Let's be a bit more considerate. __________________________________________________ I UPGRADED to a YZF-R6 Mods: Shermoto LF7 Levers / Proton Flushmounts / Puig Smoked DB / Woodcraft Sliders / Tech Spec C3 Tank Grips / Rizoma Grips / Jardine

October 1st, 2012, 11:45 AM	#7
alex.s wat Name: wat Location: tustin/long beach Join Date: Sep 2009 Motorcycle(s): wat Posts: Too much. Blog Entries: 5 MOTM - Oct '12, Feb '14	I like the onion. But this simply isn't funny. __________________________________________________

October 1st, 2012, 01:12 PM	#14
Nemesis CVMA #74 WSMC #750 Name: Nemesis Location: On the track Join Date: Oct 2009 Motorcycle(s): All of them Posts: A lot.	So, is this a joke or legit? Any other links to confirm this? __________________________________________________

October 1st, 2012, 10:52 AM	#3
xSean13 ninjette.org certified postwhore Name: Sean Location: Middle TN Join Date: Apr 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2010 Ninja 250r (sold) / '03 CBR 600RR Posts: A lot.	That ninja 250 looks different in the picture.... Anyways, great post, glad I wasted my time in here.

October 1st, 2012, 12:30 PM	#10
xSean13 ninjette.org certified postwhore Name: Sean Location: Middle TN Join Date: Apr 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2010 Ninja 250r (sold) / '03 CBR 600RR Posts: A lot.	just kidding

October 1st, 2012, 01:06 PM	#12
ninjaone ninjette.org member Name: Chris Location: Phx Join Date: Jul 2012 Motorcycle(s): CBR Posts: 145	I think posting this here was in extremely poor taste. The Onion is a comedy/satire web site, so reading that headline on their own website I would understand it's a joke on the Onion, but seeing that headline as a subject line on a motorcycle forum - for anyone who has been riding for any amount of time - is just totally inappropriate.

October 1st, 2012, 01:11 PM	#13
bbonds007 The Bonds Name: Bryan Location: State College, Pa Join Date: Sep 2012 Motorcycle(s): 06 Yellow Ninja Posts: 69	I hate the Onion, mainly because of people like the Op who then take the titles and repost them on forums/twitter, which results in lots of pissed off people.

October 1st, 2012, 01:12 PM	#15
Monkeytofu I told you bro Name: Noor Location: Austin, Texas Join Date: Jun 2012 Motorcycle(s): 1996 Ninja 250r Posts: 680	It's only funny until it's about things you have an interest in huh? I wonder if this in the print edition of the onion, I'll have to pick it up and clip it out

October 1st, 2012, 01:15 PM	#16
seanshawnS ninjette.org member Name: SHAWN Location: NS Join Date: Jul 2012 Motorcycle(s): Ninja250r(2012PR) Posts: 86	Satire is apparently lost when it's applied to a serious issue.. so basically everything satire has ever been applied to. Course "the onion" should be included in topic title. __________________________________________________ Turn around at half a tank

October 1st, 2012, 01:17 PM	#17
ninjaone ninjette.org member Name: Chris Location: Phx Join Date: Jul 2012 Motorcycle(s): CBR Posts: 145	I don't think the point is that it's satire, the point is that it was posted to a motorcycle forum where people do have friends who have died recently. The Onion is fine, they make fun of everything from religion to 9/11 to cancer. The thing is, would you go to a cancer support group forum and post this headline there just because it involves cancer? http://www.theonion.com/video/a-frie...-health,14131/ I don't think the article is a problem, but posting it here in the way that he did was in poor taste, IMO.

October 1st, 2012, 01:17 PM	#18
Racer x ninjette.org certified postwhore Name: Eric Location: Iowa City Join Date: May 2009 Motorcycle(s): 2008 Kawmeracchi 350 2010 Project X Posts: A lot. Blog Entries: 54 MOTM - Sep '18, Feb '16	Read some of the other stories. What a pile. These ass hats are just stupid. Not funny not clever nothing. I am pissed I waisted 30 seconds reading it. __________________________________________________ Top speed 123.369mph. Ohio mile Worlds fastest 250 ninja

October 1st, 2012, 02:23 PM	#19
adouglas Cat herder Name: Gort Location: A secret lair which, being secret, has an undisclosed location Join Date: May 2009 Motorcycle(s): Aprilia RS660 Posts: A lot. Blog Entries: 6 MOTM - Jul '18, Nov '16, Aug '14, May '13	Bridgeport doesn't even have a Kawi dealer. I know. I lived there for 25 years and now live in the next town over. Yeah, the bit is tasteless and offensive. But then again so is most sarcastic humor, at least to someone, somewhere. This one just happens to be a hot button for us. God help us if we all start walking around looking over our shoulder for the political correctness police. We started down that path in the 80s and thankfully it never stuck.

October 1st, 2012, 02:31 PM	#20
Jiggles Jigglin' your Jiglets Name: Sean Location: San Jose, Ca Join Date: Jun 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2009 K1300S, 2013 Ninja 300, 2011 Ninja 250R, Faster than Unregistered's ninjette Posts: Too much. Blog Entries: 1 MOTM - Apr '13	If the title was "friend just got corvette, died from crash" no one here would be offended.... Isn't that interesting? __________________________________________________ If the Ninja 250 doesn't have enough power for you, then you don't know how to ride it. AFM #676 Supersports are for n00bs

October 1st, 2012, 07:10 PM	#24
Lil_Green_Demon Winging It In Life Name: Umar Location: SoCal Join Date: Aug 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2010 250R; 2011 250R (sold) Posts: A lot.	This is obviously a touchy subject on a motorcycle message board because we all have experienced a crash one way or another, and just knowing that someone finds it funny that people die from motorcycle crashes everyday is pretty saddening. With that Corvette example given earlier, you have to wonder about this: If this were posted on a 'Vette forum, would anyone get offended? Probably not. But I'm pretty sure if someone mocked a Corvette owner dying in a crash on a 'Vette forum, it wouldn't be seen as a very good joke. Just my 0.02

October 1st, 2012, 08:06 PM	#26
massacremasses Avid Kitteh Poster Name: Justin Location: Norcal Join Date: Sep 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2006 Yamaha TTR 50 SUCK IT Posts: A lot.	Satire is generally dark. __________________________________________________ I powdercoat stuff Help me pay for my addiction I say funny stuff. http://twitter.com/JustinPWNSyou sometimes... I write like a 12 year old too, http://justinpwnsyou.wordpress.com/

October 1st, 2012, 08:36 PM	#29
NevadaWolf Certified looney toon Name: Teri Location: 39°52'40.7"N 118°23'53.8"W (Northern NV) Join Date: Jun 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2012 Ninja 250, 102k+ miles -- 2014 CB500X, 42k+ miles Posts: A lot. Blog Entries: 16 MOTM Jul '13, Jul '14	As soon as the first line of the post showed the Onion, I realized it was a joke. Funny or offensive, it was fake and I read it as such. Strangely, I was thinking Pete's younger brother would be revealed to be named Repeat (like the kid's joke). Regardless, in an environment where the joke situation can be uncomfortably real, having some notice it is a joke might be appropriate. Just my two cents. And WTH was that Robot Chicken on crack video that I just watched? @Jiggles how do you FIND these?? __________________________________________________ <-- Linky Hey Unregistered! The code [you] shows the username currently logged in. IBA # 56020 AMA # 521481 Fun Rides! ][ My Videos ][ My Gear Hold yourself to the same rules you expect others to follow.

October 1st, 2012, 08:38 PM	#30
dirty nasty ninjette.org sage Name: Karl Location: MA Join Date: Jun 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2000 Kwak Ninja 250 and 1998 Yamaha YZ400F Posts: 534	This was posted on a local riding forum I'm a member of. They found it funny from what I remember. However, the thread appears to be missing...hmm... nvm, i found it http://www.bandofriders.net/forums/s...ad.php?t=68171

October 1st, 2012, 08:39 PM	#31
Jiggles Jigglin' your Jiglets Name: Sean Location: San Jose, Ca Join Date: Jun 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2009 K1300S, 2013 Ninja 300, 2011 Ninja 250R, Faster than Unregistered's ninjette Posts: Too much. Blog Entries: 1 MOTM - Apr '13	@NevadaWolf, No that was a real commercial with some special effects. Have you not see My Video Thread? __________________________________________________ If the Ninja 250 doesn't have enough power for you, then you don't know how to ride it. AFM #676 Supersports are for n00bs

October 2nd, 2012, 09:58 PM	#32
IdRatherDrum ninjette.org member Name: Chase Location: California Join Date: May 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2008 Ninja 250r Posts: 225	This is too bad. So sad when you read things like this. People trying to fulfill their riding dreams and it just gets crushed seconds later...not cool.

October 2nd, 2012, 10:24 PM	#33
massacremasses Avid Kitteh Poster Name: Justin Location: Norcal Join Date: Sep 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2006 Yamaha TTR 50 SUCK IT Posts: A lot.	ohh boy... Its the onion bro... __________________________________________________ I powdercoat stuff Help me pay for my addiction I say funny stuff. http://twitter.com/JustinPWNSyou sometimes... I write like a 12 year old too, http://justinpwnsyou.wordpress.com/

October 2nd, 2012, 11:16 PM	#36
NevadaWolf Certified looney toon Name: Teri Location: 39°52'40.7"N 118°23'53.8"W (Northern NV) Join Date: Jun 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2012 Ninja 250, 102k+ miles -- 2014 CB500X, 42k+ miles Posts: A lot. Blog Entries: 16 MOTM Jul '13, Jul '14	@Jiggles oh I do, catchy little tune there, plus I had seen it before. I was just concerned about how deep that rabbit hole went. You do tend to collect some ... unique videos. Much as I like flirting with the edges of the realms of Chaos, diving head first into their Court is not my idea of a good time. LOL __________________________________________________ <-- Linky Hey Unregistered! The code [you] shows the username currently logged in. IBA # 56020 AMA # 521481 Fun Rides! ][ My Videos ][ My Gear Hold yourself to the same rules you expect others to follow.

October 3rd, 2012, 04:20 AM	#38
akcalhoun ninjette.org member Name: aaron Location: east texas Join Date: Jul 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2013 honda shadow phantom Posts: 170	i got a rly good laugh and enjoyed the satire, because this is how many non riders thinks it works. many think the second u buy a bike its a death sentence and ur dead in 2 weeks tops. i wont argue its more dangerous to ride a motorcycle bcuz if u wreck ull prly get injured worse, but i got a rly good laugh bcuz many people believe this make-believe senario to be the norm.

October 3rd, 2012, 04:35 AM	#39
csmith12 The Corner Whisperer Name: Chris (aka Reactor) Location: Northern KY Join Date: May 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2010 250 (track), 1992 250, 2006 R6 (street/track), 2008 R6 (track) Posts: Too much. MOTY 2015, MOTM - Nov '12, Nov '13	Satire is fine and all, this one just fails during execution. __________________________________________________ Goal: Shake A Million Hands \| Look through the corners \| Track Day Prep \| Closest track? \| The Mid-Ohio School

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