Hmmmm,
I have been watching this thread with some interest.
My first thought is....
We all have our different challenges in life. Let me ask you this...What is stopping you from taking those things that are perceived as negative and using them as a positive force in your life? The things that make you unique among the masses are your talents, not your impediments. Honestly, I think your current approach is not driving your desired outcome, but instead meet with being your own worst enemy. Now look at the picture above again in a different light.
Let's start here to make sure you are using your full mental focus on the ride vers everything else.
Click here to get started.
https://www.ninjette.org/forums/showthread.php?t=133301
EDIT: If your paying attention, the meme says "fork" but the child is holding a spoon. This was done on purpose just so you know, to further help with the point.