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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:11 PM   #41
Alex
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***LOVE*** the end of the world video. But I watched it so many times when it first came out that it doesn't make me laugh anymore, even with that accent.
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:11 PM   #42
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someone has been eating lead paint chips again.
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:14 PM   #43
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:15 PM   #44
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Try this...you can literally type in anything you want and it's awesome.

Link to original page on YouTube.

Idk why I can't get a video embed to work

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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:21 PM   #45
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Hybrid motorcycle.
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:21 PM   #46
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:23 PM   #47
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.
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:23 PM   #48
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:25 PM   #49
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Flashmonkey cracked the code. #2 is gone.
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:25 PM   #50
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The Insanity Test:

http://www.savageresearch.com/humor/insanityTest.html

I'm sure most of you have seen this, but I still can't watch it without laughing.
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:26 PM   #51
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cal newman walmart phone prank. Pretty funny stuff there.

Link to original page on YouTube.

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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:30 PM   #52
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changed to a link instead, don't wanna condone language
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:31 PM   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmgrande View Post
The Insanity Test:

http://www.savageresearch.com/humor/insanityTest.html

I'm sure most of you have seen this, but I still can't watch it without laughing.
That one still gets me in every time.
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:36 PM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex View Post
Floyd - WWII gif didn't make me laugh, but it was freaking cool. Someone had *way* too much time on their hands.
Another one, not funny, but an amazing example of someone with too much time . . .
Attached Images
File Type: gif walkingmanba9.gif (14.5 KB, 160 views)
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:41 PM   #55
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Okay, one more funny post and then bed.

I made this parody for a video class when I was a senior in HS, it's about 4 years old:

Link to original page on YouTube.

I wish I knew how to embed youtube videos !

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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:47 PM   #56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmgrande View Post
I wish I knew how to embed youtube videos !
Embedded it for you; just hit edit on your post to see how I did it.
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Old March 15th, 2011, 09:50 PM   #57
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Quote:
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Embedded it for you; just hit edit on your post to see how I did it.
AHA! Genius, thanks! That's a lot easier than I thought, I embedded my previous one to test it out.
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Old March 15th, 2011, 10:02 PM   #58
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I asked Google what you laugh at, Alex...it only came up with 2 results...
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Old March 15th, 2011, 11:02 PM   #59
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I still have a 10% off coupon good through march 19th. i posted it in the marketplace but nobody ever pm'd me. if someone wants it pm me.
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Old March 16th, 2011, 02:33 AM   #60
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gfloyd2002 View Post
Another one, not funny, but an amazing example of someone with too much time . . .
Actually, you can do that with any video using VLC. Plugins for GIMP can do it too.
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Old March 16th, 2011, 03:36 AM   #61
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MOTM - Feb '12
I'm a former attorney, so these crack me up. These quotes, from the book "Disorder in the Courts", are taken from actual court transcripts:


ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: Now doctor isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shittin me?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Guess.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Would you like to rephrase that?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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Old March 16th, 2011, 03:45 AM   #62
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pwntox5.jpg
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Old March 16th, 2011, 04:00 AM   #63
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I Hate Nature - NSFW

This ugly little bird is drunk, and appears to be saying "oh no you didn't!"

Link to original page on YouTube.

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Old March 16th, 2011, 04:42 AM   #64
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lol2.jpg
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Old March 16th, 2011, 06:26 AM   #65
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#3 goes to gfloyd, for the lawyer quotes.
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Old March 16th, 2011, 07:40 AM   #66
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from my lol folder on my computer:





























big post i know, but something is bound to make you lol
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Old March 16th, 2011, 08:42 AM   #67
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Ohhh Alexxxx...tickle tickle tickle...
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Old March 16th, 2011, 08:49 AM   #68
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you must watch it

Link to original page on YouTube.

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Old March 16th, 2011, 08:53 AM   #69
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I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I had just turned forty-nine).

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?

'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?

'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?'

'No,' I said...

He looked at me and said, ...Then, why do you even give a ****?
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Old March 16th, 2011, 09:11 AM   #70
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Alex, I don't need a cert. but if you really want a good laugh, next time you got out of the shower look in the mirror.
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Old March 16th, 2011, 09:27 AM   #71
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pls edit if F-word is not allowed

Link to original page on YouTube.

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Old March 16th, 2011, 10:20 AM   #72
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Link to original page on YouTube.
Listening to their laugh make it kinda hard to contain your own, even if you didn't think it was funny. Just try it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kamikaze View Post
from my lol folder on my computer:
...


big post i know, but something is bound to make you lol
That one did it for me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indy250r View Post
An atom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a double shot of whiskey. The bartender says "is everything ok, you don't look so good"

"Not good at all" replies the atom "I'm loosing electrons".

"Are you sure?" asks the bartender.

The electron looks at him, shrugs his shoulders and says "I'm positive."
Huh?

Quote:
Originally Posted by trex View Post
This has gotta be a parody of some kind.

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Old March 16th, 2011, 10:30 AM   #73
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Dammit! I can't post "better Nate than lever" because the forums say that it's too long.

*language warning*

Link to original page on YouTube.


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Old March 16th, 2011, 12:04 PM   #74
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HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:


Bubba,
Bertha, Duke, Slim an me went for mor amo an beer. B back latr. The dogs went aftr the maleman this mornin an messed him up real bad. I don think Killer took part, but it was hard to tel frum all the blud. Anywa, I lokked all for of 'em in the hous. Better wate out here. Be rite bak.

Cooter
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Old March 16th, 2011, 12:50 PM   #75
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Two guys talking around the water cooler at work one day:

Guy 1: Man, I had the worst Freudian slip yesterday.
Guy2: Freudian slip....whats that?
Guy1: Its when you accidently say something thats on your mind but didn't intend to say...like yesterday when I was trying to book my flight out of town...I was talking to my big-breasted secretary and what I meant to say was "Can you please book me a ticket to Pittsburgh,?" but what I really said was "Can you please book me a picket to tittsburgh?"
Guy2: Ahhhh, I see what you're saying. The same thing happened to me at breakfast this morning. I was talking to my wife and what I meant to say was "Honey, can you please pass me the milk" but instead I said "**** you Bitch, you ruined my life"
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Old March 16th, 2011, 01:02 PM   #76
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jojah17 View Post
Two guys talking around the water cooler at work one day:

Guy 1: Man, I had the worst Freudian slip yesterday.
Guy2: Freudian slip....whats that?
Guy1: Its when you accidently say something thats on your mind but didn't intend to say...like yesterday when I was trying to book my flight out of town...I was talking to my big-breasted secretary and what I meant to say was "Can you please book me a ticket to Pittsburgh,?" but what I really said was "Can you please book me a picket to tittsburgh?"
Guy2: Ahhhh, I see what you're saying. The same thing happened to me at breakfast this morning. I was talking to my wife and what I meant to say was "Honey, can you please pass me the milk" but instead I said "**** you Bitch, you ruined my life"
i lol'd
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Old March 16th, 2011, 01:35 PM   #77
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Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in their system that works like new, improved Wisk--dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away.

I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to the contrary, the kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that cling to the throw rug by the fireplace.

The time comes, however, when a man must face reality: when he must look squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary and announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty in July."

When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some advice you might consider as you place your feline friend under your arm and head for the bathtub:

--Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions!)

--Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.

--Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.

--Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule. If he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a product testing experiment for J.C. Penny.)

--Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have begun on the wildest 45 seconds of your life.

--Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.)

--Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out by this time. Drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.

--In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.

--You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath.

--But at least now he smells a lot better.
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Old March 16th, 2011, 02:06 PM   #78
Indy250r
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CZroe View Post



Huh?


Typo, should say "the atom". I'm 0 for 2 on this site this week.
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Old March 16th, 2011, 03:27 PM   #79
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Old March 16th, 2011, 04:20 PM   #80
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I'm probably laughing more at the postings than Alex. You guys are hilarious!

Since we are posting funny stuff, here is my share. This took me back to when I was younger and in a similar situation as the little girl.

Link to original page on YouTube.

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