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Old July 15th, 2013, 03:29 PM   #1
LittleRedNinjette
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The best/funniest excuses to take off work.....

So I've heard some good ones. I thought it be fun to see who else has some good ones.

I'll start with a good one from my boyfriends work:

I can't come in on Memorial Day, i have a doctors appointment.

Or the 4th....

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Old July 15th, 2013, 04:04 PM   #2
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Having gone AWOL, excuse delivered by the recruit's mother when a couple of NCO's arrived to return him to barracks.

"It was his birthday yesterday, I didn't wan to wake him early"

We were all paraded, the story was told & then we were gun running for the next hour.
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Old July 15th, 2013, 05:14 PM   #3
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My favorite is a severe case of anal glaucoma.


As in, I just can't see my ass coming in to work today.
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Old July 15th, 2013, 05:15 PM   #4
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Haha! That's a classic.
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Old July 15th, 2013, 07:14 PM   #5
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Old July 16th, 2013, 02:04 AM   #6
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Employee: I can't come in to work today.
Boss: Why not?
Employee: My wife is trying to get pregnant and I'd like to be there when it happens.
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Old July 16th, 2013, 02:42 AM   #7
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Old July 17th, 2013, 06:10 PM   #8
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Old July 18th, 2013, 02:53 AM   #9
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What!? Unacceptable! You should have crutched in!
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Old August 31st, 2013, 10:47 PM   #10
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Best one I've heard:

Employee - "i can't make it in. My car won't start."

Boss - "why?"

Employee - "I'm not in it"
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Old September 1st, 2013, 07:16 AM   #11
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Old September 1st, 2013, 09:03 AM   #12
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Here's one:
Employee - I can't make it in to work.
Boss - why?
Employee - the weather is so nice I have to ride my Ninja. She's whining.
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Old September 3rd, 2013, 05:52 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snake View Post
Here's one:
Employee - I can't make it in to work.
Boss - why?
Employee - the weather is so nice I have to ride my Ninja. She's whining.
If your bike is female, she's a kunoichi, not a ninja. Kunoichi is the correct word for a female ninja. So you could tell the boss "I can't get there, there's a loud whine coming from my kunoichi". Might work.

On the other hand, if your boss knows what a kunoichi is then he's probably a ninja and you are extra, extra fooked.
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Old September 3rd, 2013, 10:07 PM   #14
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True reasons given to me...
I have an interview & today is the only day the other company can schedule it!
I am doing 1 week training to see if i like the new job.
I must complete a first aid coarse & basic training for new job.
My child has a toothache...how old is your child? 18 !!
I just put a new septic tank in my home & we have a ceremony today.
My sandals were stolen from outside my home last night.

All true & all no longer working for me.
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Old September 4th, 2013, 03:07 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thorgrim View Post
If your bike is female, she's a kunoichi, not a ninja. Kunoichi is the correct word for a female ninja. So you could tell the boss "I can't get there, there's a loud whine coming from my kunoichi". Might work.

On the other hand, if your boss knows what a kunoichi is then he's probably a ninja and you are extra, extra fooked.
Lol yes very true.
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Old September 4th, 2013, 09:07 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Snake View Post
Lol yes very true.
Besides, he's probably in the closet right now with his poison dart gun out right now. You lose.
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Old September 5th, 2013, 05:12 AM   #17
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