The homeless- Am I wrong for this?

[Ninjabunny]

Okay, so until recently, I took my old clothes and such to the local homeless shelter for the people there. I used to give it Goodwill until I thought, "Give my clothes to a business so that they can make 100% profit? I think not."

Anyway, so the I drove to the place and there was a couple of homeless people hanging out near the bins that people put donations in. A lady looked at me and said, "Got some clothes?"

I said yes and she said,"Yeah, okay, just put 'em in there."

So I do, walk away, and as I'm driving off I see her looking through the things I dropped off. I felt annoyed. Then embarrassed of feeling annoyed. I thought, "You don't give your clothes and expect praise or thanks or anything. Or at least you shouldn't."

But then I thought, "No, no, no, that lady seemed totally ungrateful. She seemed like getting her clothes out of that bin was totally normal. " And it didn't feel like I was helping her. And I pictured her living her life, homeless, looking for the next donation, the next clothes bin, the next free lunch.

So I decided, no more clothes for the homeless. I'm giving my old clothes to the thrift shops for the Humane Society and rape crisis center.

But I'm till feeling a little guilty...........

[BlueTyke]

I would feel stiffed if people didn't say thanks... You could have just as easily donated to somewhere else.

I wouldn't feel guilty as you still did good by giving to those less fortunate. Even if you change your charity.

You did awesome!

[Ramen]

You should've mugged her.

[kkim]

Consider yourself fortunate enough that you are in a position to give. You shouldn't feel like you should be praised, but I think "thanks" are in order.

That lady surely isn't the poster child for the homeless, but you are totally free to give to whatever cause you feel are worthy and deserving. There are some truly deserving homeless that would really appreciate the helping hand, people going through some rough patches in their lives, but she obviously wasn't one of them.

Kudos to you for thinking of others... now take some time and find a cause you feel is worthy of your donation.

[Cling]

Dude, you cant expect 'normal' things (like please and thank you's)from your average homeless person. They are homeless for a reason, and 99% of the time that reason is that they can not conform to the 'normal' human operations that we have all so easily adapted too.

[workdaddy]

Originally Posted by Cling

Dude, you cant expect 'normal' things (like please and thank you's)from your average homeless person. They are homeless for a reason, and 99% of the time that reason is that they can not conform to the 'normal' human operations that we have all so easily adapted too.

I agree all too well. 'Specially around the winter time when it gets cold out. Keep in mind I deal with them daily (The ones who do that small crime to do the 3-4 month time). Years ago when I started my career I noticed that some people will never be great full and say thank you... almost like they just have the most neg attitude... Just need to do what you do and brush it off.... Attitude, its everything

[CC Cowboy]

When you give donations to Good Will or other charity foundations they give clothes to homeless and others in need. They also sell clothes and other donations to raise money to help homeless and others in need. The only difference is you can write off the donation if you give it to the charity other than giving it directly to the homeless. Either way you are doing good and should be proud you are able to. Don't expect anything in return but the feeling that you helped someone, which is a great feeling.

[TnNinjaGirl]

I can understand where you are coming from. I had a cousin that lived with my sister and I at one time who was given the same opportunites as us. College was paid for, food, shelter, clothing, it was a very good place to be. The difference was the way we were raised. He felt like he was entitled to something that he was simply not. Entitlement, I feel, is what is wrong with alot of the poor and homeless people I personally encounter. That can be a very frustrating thing, but once again, you shouln't feel like anyone owes you a thank you. We were raised a different way, where we give respect and thanks. I feel if some of the homeless felt the same way about appreciation, they wouldn't be in the same situation. With that said, I donate regularly to several charities and to friends in tough times. Be happy you can afford to give when so many can't. It's a great situation to be in.

[KJohnson21]

If you want to avoid the feeling that you're picking "favorites", you could alternate your donations amongst the organizations from one time to the next. They all sound deserving in one way or another.

[Sailariel]

Something that most people don`t know about Goodwill Industries is that they employ people with disabilities that could not be employed in the usual workforce. I am an avid supporter of Goodwill and the SA Thrift Stores. Anything they make barely pays their overhead--and they employ a lot of people who would otherwise be on welfare.

[BlueTyke]

I am sorry I suppose it is the way I was raised but when I did/do something nice for someone else the general response I expect is "Thank you".

Even when I have just dropped off stuff at goodwill (not getting the tax slip) the person at the collection area said Thanks..

I know I am doing something good, I will know that regardless, but the appreciation of just those two words (or one if you go with a simple thanks) means that, to me, they really appreciate what I have done. And it is proper manners too.

Again it could be how I was raised but... I hold more faith in humanity that manners and appreciation should not be understaded.

[CC Cowboy]

If you're looking for a thank you hold the door for someone.
If you're looking to help the poor or homeless look inside yourself and feel fortunate you can.

[BlueTyke]

You don't think that I don't? I do but still when someone gives me something, or holds the door for me, I still say thank you.

I give the guy on the corner with the homeless sign a buck and he says thanks (Or something similiar like God Bless, which I still feel is a form of thanks)... Why should clothes be any different?

I am just saying that if someone went out of their way to help me I would say thanks. I don't think it is that hard of a thing to do, homeless or not. I would like to think if I was in that situation I would be more greatful and thank whomever brought the clothes for me to cover myself with.

[Ninjabunny]

1. I was ignorant of the Goodwill facts you have given me.
2. ENTITLEMENT, that's what I felt. Very good word choice.
3. I guess as long as I'm giving to a place that is in need, I shouldn't feel guilty.

I guess I'm made guilty easily. St. Judes commericals, the third-world children with the flies around them, THE SARAH MCLAUGHLIN ANIMAL COMMERCIAL WITH THE SAD MUSIC AND TEARY EYED PUPPIES AND KITTENS! Oh jeez.

[Sailariel]

I am very fussy about which charity I support. The thing that I look at is: How much money is spent on administration, fund raising, and advertising. The charities that I feel who pass this Litmus Test are: Disabled American Veterans (DAV), American Lung Association-Maine, Goodwill, Salvation Army, and our local Soup Kitchen. DAV spends quite a bit on admin., but they file claims at the VA for free, and are in my opinion the most effective organization helping veterans work their way through the Federal System ,which can be mind boggling.