A Minor Rant

[beqwarrior]

Well I have been active duty for 14 years and my family had not supported me one bit. 3 deployments over there, many many countless hours deployed over seas. I am speaking of the immidiate family. My brother owns a high performance shop in California and I sent him a flag that he could hang in his shop signifing a family member is deployed. He refused to hang it up. I send stuff home for my nephew, ya know the Military shirts and they refuse to let him wear them. Its really sad. Do you think its an older brother jelousy thing?
Just thinking of this being that it was veterans day yesterday.

[Lil_Green_Demon]

Man, I'm sorry to hear that your immediate family isn't supportive of what you're doing.
I'd like to say that I respect you for serving our country.
As for your brother, did he ever tell you before you actually enlisted that he didn't want you to serve? Could it be because he hasn't seen you much in the past 14 years, so when you are trying to make a brotherly connection now, he wants no part of it?

[beqwarrior]

Nah They were never really happy that I went in. Never supportive for reenlistments, award ceremonies, homecomings that type of thing. Never care packages from home. I am happy that I serve it is a honor that I can serve this great nation. 6 more years and I retire to Seattle!!

[sombo]

That's one thing in this country that kind of hits a nerve for me. I just can't stand families that are non-supportive of family members willing to serve in the military. I would personally see it as a badge of honor that my family member was willing to put others safety, lives, and freedoms ahead of their own. I served 4 years in US Army and my family was supportive and proud of me doing so. It might also have something to do that both my grandfathers were in WWII, my dad joined the Army (although he was medically discharged while in training from an accident that fractured his hip), and then I have served. So it's not exactly a family tradition, but just something that seems to happen for each generation it seems.

You should ask him what his problem with you serving in the military is. Sit him down and talk to him to find out what his issues are and if it's just some sort of misdirected anger at the federal government being projected on to you for "doing their dirty work" sort of thing.

[coondog]

Did your father or any family members serve in Vietnam? That could possibly explain an awful lot, trust me. For me, thank you sir.

[Heed]

so you're upset that your nephew won't wear a shirt?

[beqwarrior]

Originally Posted by Heed

so you're upset that your nephew won't wear a shirt?

No nothing to do with a shirt. Much more to it than that. I am the only family member to serve.

[ninja_sleeper]

Originally Posted by Heed

so you're upset that your nephew won't wear a shirt?

Is that REALLY what you got from this? That its about a shirt? Don't be disrespectful.

Is you're family like Jehovah witness or something?

Sorry this happens to you, maybe they need a wake up call.

Thanks for your service. I don't agree with where the government is sending you or what they making you do, but thanks for doing it with the right intent in your heart. The fact that it bothers you your family doesn't support you shows you have a conscious, and unfortunately there are some that are without one in the service.

You deserve the best.

Thank You.

[Heed]

Originally Posted by ninja_sleeper

Is that REALLY what you got from this? That its about a shirt? Don't be disrespectful.

The OP shouldn't be upset that "they" [his parents?] won't allow his nephew to wear a military shirt -- or that his brother won't hang a flag in his shop. So what?

Personally, I wouldn't sleep any worse at night if this were the case for me.

[burningscooter]

A legitimate rant being that it is the career path you have chosen and your immediately family is not supportive of you. Maybe you should ask him if he has an issue with you serving?

I served as well but not as long and always had the support of my friends and family. I was also the only one from the family to serve.

[beqwarrior]

I was actually using the shirt as an example.

[kyrider]

beqwarrior,

Let me just take the time to thank you for your service. I don't know you from Adam but I am proud of you.

[Domagoj]

Perhaps your family is afraid you might get hurt, and they do not support it because of it.
There was a war here some years ago, and you can be sure that each mother who lost a child would gladly trade the government and "freedom" and whatnot for that precious life back. Think of it that way.

Your question is difficult, it pulls many other questions which often lead to, well, at least a heated debate, if not worse.

Fortunate Son comes to mind. Think about it.

[gfloyd2002]

Originally Posted by beqwarrior

Well I have been active duty for 14 years and my family had not supported me one bit. 3 deployments over there, many many countless hours deployed over seas. I am speaking of the immidiate family. My brother owns a high performance shop in California and I sent him a flag that he could hang in his shop signifing a family member is deployed. He refused to hang it up. I send stuff home for my nephew, ya know the Military shirts and they refuse to let him wear them. Its really sad. Do you think its an older brother jelousy thing?
Just thinking of this being that it was veterans day yesterday.

Thanks for your service to your country. I work overseas alongside our military, and really appreciate all that you do and sacrifice.

I wouldn't let your family's response bother you too much. Your brother may appreciate your service, but have personal views that don't permit him to have his kids wearing military stuff. I know many parents who don't let their kids play with guns or wear cammo, play war, etc. Perhaps it is not that they don't support our troops, but maybe they wan't their kids to have a more innocent upbringing. The real world is a nasty place, and part of what makes your service such a sacrifice is perhaps not fit for kids. Not the way I raise my kids, but you have to respect their choices just like you want them to respect yours.

The flag thing is much harder to justify, but if you look around any city, you'll see many businesses without flags hanging. It could be a simple issue of what he thinks a business should look like, or what is tidy, or what will work best for his customers. Again, wouldn't be my choice, but my vote is to respect his choices like you want him to respect yours.

Ask him about it if you like, tell him that it makes you feel like he isn't supportive of your choices and give him the chance to clarify. My bet is that he'll tell you that he honors your service but that military isn't his thing.

[CynicalC]

I think you have to learn to live with the fact that not everyone is going to support what you do for a living, and stop trying to force them to support you. It's perfectly understandable to me that a parent wouldn't want their kids wearing an armed forces shirt, for the same reason they might not let their kids play violent video games or watch pro wrestling and that's commendable. War and violence should not be glorified.

Oh, gfloyd beat me to it and much more eloquently.

[JS73]

Thank you for your service.

[HKr1]

Originally Posted by beqwarrior

Well I have been active duty for 14 years and my family had not supported me one bit. 3 deployments over there, many many countless hours deployed over seas. I am speaking of the immidiate family. My brother owns a high performance shop in California and I sent him a flag that he could hang in his shop signifing a family member is deployed. He refused to hang it up. I send stuff home for my nephew, ya know the Military shirts and they refuse to let him wear them. Its really sad. Do you think its an older brother jelousy thing?
Just thinking of this being that it was veterans day yesterday.

Your new family has been supporting you for 14 years

Also Iam kinda suprised your posting this at 14 years in....... You have a wife and kids>?> They should be at homecoming;s. Mom/dad brother and sitsers, most times arnt even close to where your stationed.
Some familys just dont get along in life, is kinda strange I think... but what can you do.

[almost40]

1st and 508th Hoah for a man who has spent 14 years in.
Dont worry about your brother. You now have thousands and thousands of them.
As far as your parents go.....dont worry about it. Sleep well knowing that they rise and sleep under the very blanket of freedom that you help provide.
They will come around......someday.

[beqwarrior]

To be honest my intentions were not to claim that I get no support from my brother being that I am a military member, it was more so the fact that I get no support what so ever. Military aside if I was working in another occupation there would still be no support from them. Sorry friends I was griping I was venting and it was really upsetting. Hey I traveled to LA for my birthday and guess what, spent the night at PF Changs by myself. When I said not let my nephew wear a military shirt I was simply saying that because I got it for him its a no go. OK I bought him a train from Walmart and they would not let him play with it. Well I have to face the facts my family are just jerks simply self absorbed jerks.
I would never force my views on to anyone. Thanks again for letting me rant here. -Rob

[CynicalC]

If your family has really turned their backs on you the way you say, there has to be more to the story than just your career choice making them act this way. What is it?

[Ytse Frobozz]

It sounds unfortunate but I would just acknowledge the situation and move on. I guess not everyone gets it. Any time I meet someone in the military at a bar I buy them a drink!