Getting her to ride...

[reaubideux]

I tried searching but really didn't find anything....

Just curious if anyone was able to convince their wife/girlfriend to start riding with them (as a passenger) despite the wife/girlfriend really not liking motorcycles. I know if she really just does not want to be on one then she won't but was hoping someone may have some tips on how they convinced their significant other to hop on for a ride.

When I first got my bike, my wife and I agreed it was my toy and something for me to have to enjoy some "me" time, for me to escape all my cares. I've been realizing more and more lately that I'd like to share my passion for riding with my wife and it's a way to kill 2 birds with one stone. I'd get to enjoy my bike while enjoying some "us" time (away from the kids) at the same time.

I don't even want to go for long rides, just maybe a trip up the road for dinner and then to a movie. Basically, a date night type of thing.

Please don't say "have her take the MSF." She won't do it, she doesn't care about motorcycles, she doesn't like them, and she wouldn't want to spend the money. This is just me wanting to try and convince her to hop on for a short ride from time to time and I actually think she may come to enjoy it once she's used to it. It's just getting her on for that first ride that I can't talk her into.

Just curious if any of you guys have been able to convince your significant other to come over to the dark side.

[massacremasses]

get her a cute motorcycle jacket and helmet. Then shell wanna go so she can wear it

[jamesio]

I don't know man, has she ever been on one? I'm guessing she doesn't like them because she thinks they are too dangerous.

If she absolutely wont get on one no matter what then I would just leave it at that. Trying to force her might put you both in an unsafe position on the bike.

If however she just doesn't feel comfortable but she may be willing to try it maybe you can try and convince her to just try it and tell her to trust you and that everything will be ok. Explain to her the responsibilities of being a passenger and then take her around the block for a slow ride in the neighborhood and ask her how she felt afterwards. Remember, if she's not liking it or having fun then it's just not worth it. At that point she would just be doing it for you at her expense, but that's now what you want. I know as her husband you want her to enjoy herself along with you.

[jamesio]

Originally Posted by massacremasses

get her a cute motorcycle jacket and helmet. Then shell wanna go so she can wear it

+1

Also, just this past weekend I took my girl on her first ride ever for her b-day. She had never been on a bike before! But she expressed the desire to try it and she was excited. I even surprised her with a jacket which she loved! and that morning before the ride I took her shopping for a helmet. She loved that too

I took her for a ride around 17 near fredericksburg, va. She is into wine so I planned a rideto a wine ry! It was beautiful, the winery was in the foresty back roads, then after we took a long ride through the scenic back roads and then went a little fast up 17 before we turned around and headed back. It couldn't have gone better! And she enjoyed the ride very much.

Try and make a good date out of it to convince her more.

[cliff0529]

Start somewhere short and work up to longer distances. Also, avoid high speeds at first. The sensation of speed on a motorcycle is a lot different than it is in a car.

Just kind of mention it to her and see what her response is. Something like "Hey, lets take the bike and go get some lunch at (insert nice nearby restaurant)." Let her get comfortable with it first and don't push her. Some people like it and some people don't. IF she agrees to it, don't make that everything you talk about at lunch or where ever, again just casually mention it like "That was a lot of fun, I enjoyed you being with me on the bike." and see where she goes with it.

Another way is to get one of her friends to dare her to do it. That usually works too...

Also, good advice for a first time passenger is to tell them to put their arms around you and to just look over your inside shoulder when turning (ie look over your left shoulder when turning left and over your right shoulder when turning right. Doing that pretty much forces them to lean with you and not against you. If they're uncomfortable with the sense of speed, tell them to look a little further down the road, not off to the sides.

[mrcrunch]

You like to live dangerously (you ride a bike).

So ...

Step 1: take another woman for a spin.
Step 2: Make sure your wife sees.
Step 3: Assuming you survive step 2.
Step 4: It's likely she will be insisting that you take her out after that.

That is all. (I am mostly serious, lol, consider the odds of step 3 before attempting this)

[reaubideux]

Justin, LOL, good idea but I know my wife would not fall for that. She's really not into the "cutesy" stuff.

James, in your first reply, you pretty much hit the nail on the head with what I'm trying to accomplish and the way I feel about wanting her to enjoy the experience versus just obliging me or something.

I'm definitely not trying to coerce her against her will. Just trying to talk her into it and to get her past the "those things scare me" mentality. And believe me, there's no forcing her to do anything; she's as bull-headed as they come and she absolutely won't do something she if she doesn't want to. And for the first ride, that's all I'm really wanting to do anyway - drive her around the neighborhood and maybe down the street to the gas station. If she just did not like it, I'd be completely content knowing that she at least tried it. If she was okay with it, maybe not sold on it just yet, then I'd try and talk her into going for a little longer ride, maybe 5-10 miles from home, on the side roads. I'd need the practice as a rider w/a passenger as much as I'd want her to have the experience of riding so I wouldn't be jumping out onto the highway anytime soon with her. My end game would really have me and her, at most, hopping on the highway for a 10-15 minute jaunt up to a restaurant or a park or something.

I should've stated in my OP but I haven't even really talked to her about riding with me beyond the a passing comment like "one of these days I'd like to get you to take a short ride with me" to which she responded "uhh.... no." I really wanted to get input from you guys - from those who maybe were able to do what I'm trying to do - on ways to approach that serious conversation about asking her to ride with me.

[reaubideux]

Originally Posted by mrcrunch

You like to live dangerously (you ride a bike).

So ...

Step 1: take another woman for a spin.
Step 2: Make sure your wife sees.
Step 3: Assuming you survive step 2.
Step 4: It's likely she will be insisting that you take her out after that.

That is all. (I am mostly serious, lol, consider the odds of step 3 before attempting this)

The end result of Steps 1 and 2 would equal no more bike. I'd have to sell it to pay for the divorce attorneys.

And sadly, I know no women that would want to go for a ride with me anyway.

[reaubideux]

Cliff, really, I'm still just thinking of a way to get her to just sit on the bike let alone me starting it up and rolling around the neighborhood. Good idea about the peer pressure though, as wrong as it may seem, I think a little teasing would get her to loosen up to the idea. Too bad everyone in both our families - besides my dad - is against motorcycles for the most part.

I'm planning on really talking to her about it tonight, provided the kids cooperate and give us time to actually talk.

Additionally, there's no real nonchalant way of proposing going for a ride to her, I can't just say "hey, let's take the bike...." as I don't have the spare gear lying around. Well, no helmet or gloves anyway. My dad's Shoei fits her rather well actually and I know he'd let her borrow it along with his riding gloves. (Oddly, my dad is just as eager to get my wife to ride with me as he is in getting my mom to ride with him. I think he wants to double-date. ) I've got a jacket she could wear that would work well enough until she decides whether or not she wants to sit on the thing ever again and if she does then I'd tell her we need to get her a jacket and helmet. She's got some boots already she could use.

[csmith12]

I had success via compromise, your married so you should know what I mean.

"I do things with you that you like, would you kindly return the favor?" Plan a route and stops that she will enjoy too, that goes a long way.

Just this Sunday I was able to talk my wife into going on her first sportbike group ride (spirited pace too!) and she had a blast! Great group of people, lots of laughs and there was a few other girls there for her to chat with.

Good luck and ride safe!

EDIT: For sure gear her up!

[csmith12]

And before anyone asks, yes we were 2 up on the 2fiddy keeping up with all those 600's

[Live2ride]

My girlfriend wanted to hop on the back of my bike the first day I bought it. I had to make her wait until I was ready, lol.

[nit8690]

Lol well for me it started out that riding motorcycles would be my thing. she told me if she saw me riding unsafe I would get grounded from riding. lol like that will happen. well then she wanted to maybe get a cruiser bike and ride with me while I still had my ninja for just me. well now she wants to ride on her own. I told her if she gets her motorcycle license I will get her a bike. lol so yeah we see where that went from lol. I am gonna get her a honda rebel. she is short so it will help her in touching the ground and it will give her a better riding position to help her back. so hopefully we can go on rides and she wont have a problem. either way I will get a second bike to ride if I want lol

[nit8690]

Originally Posted by mrcrunch

You like to live dangerously (you ride a bike).

So ...

Step 1: take another woman for a spin.
Step 2: Make sure your wife sees.
Step 3: Assuming you survive step 2.
Step 4: It's likely she will be insisting that you take her out after that.

That is all. (I am mostly serious, lol, consider the odds of step 3 before attempting this)

I would not even survive the thought process of step one. she would just know what I planed and kill me in my sleep.

[reaubideux]

Originally Posted by nit8690

I would not even survive the thought process of step one. she would just know what I planed and kill me in my sleep.

[Darling Ninja]

Tell her you will take her to her favorite restaurant and buy her dinner, but you will take her there as a passenger on your bike.

You know your wife better than anyone here. I get the impression that there is a chance she will change her mind, since you are trying to get ideas on how to convince her.

I got lucky. My boyfriend rides and so do I.

[Kevin2109]

Long story short get a 600 for real actually, this chick wouldnt get on the back of the 250 but when I pulled up in the 636 shes like ok I think im ready to ride

[onetruevibe]

My wife was less than excited about my decision to buy a motorcycle last year for all of the the expected reasons.

But in the end she supported the decision and has even started riding 2up with me for short distances doing the very things you mention - date nights, etc.

While she has come to appreciate and even enjoy the experience, she still has no desire to take long trips or buy a bike of her own.

When we started riding more frequently, I asked her what had changed. Here's what she said helped her. YMMV:
1. I didn't crash. she saw that I was a safe and responsible rider and over time she felt that crashing was not inevitable, and that I was capable of keeping her safe.
2. I created situations where she had to follow me in the car. She said seeing me riding safely and responsibly helped her know what to expect.
3. I respected her hesitation. I never pressured her into an uncomfortable position. She was grateful that I was able to accept her "no" and moved on.

Again, this is a personal account - every one is different.

[reaubideux]

Thanks Brian... the most helpful response thus far.

No offense to the rest of you. Brian just happened to fit my same scenario.

Only differences is that she'll deliberately avoid watching me ride my motorcycle, but at the same time, she does the same thing when we're in 2 separate cars. For some reason she doesn't like watching me or me watching her when we're in separate vehicles. I really don't know why, just makes her nervous she says.

[blink]

Haha if they really don't want to go, don't take them.

[massacremasses]

My wife watches me, but thats mostly cause our son likes to watch. Im pretty sure he will be riding with me before her

[Blackwidow]

Originally Posted by mrcrunch

You like to live dangerously (you ride a bike).

So ...

Step 1: take another woman for a spin.
Step 2: Make sure your wife sees.
Step 3: Assuming you survive step 2.
Step 4: It's likely she will be insisting that you take her out after that.

That is all. (I am mostly serious, lol, consider the odds of step 3 before attempting this)

this is the best first post i've ever read!

[Blackwidow]

to the OP, I wouldn't try to "convince" her of anything...when she is good and ready, she'll let you know. Just express to her how much it will mean to you if you ride with her, and leave it at that.

[Lil_Green_Demon]

My girl actually wanted to learn how to ride when I first bought my bike.



Then I got hit by a car.




Then she changed her mind for our daughter's sake. "One of us has to be alive to raise her, right?"



Now she won't even consider going around the block with me on my 250R.




I don't think I'm ready to take passengers just yet anyway.

[choneofakind]

My girlfriend knew I was in love with motorcycles long before we started dating. I bought the bike soon after we started dating, and she was hesitant about it. Her parents hate bikes, and she's seen idiots ride and wasn't so sure about me riding. She agreed that she would trust me to know when I was ready to take passengers. At the end of my first season riding, I took another buddy who rides for a ride just so that I had a passenger who knew what they were doing as my first passenger.

finally, at the beginning of this season, I convinced her to go for a ride around a neighborhood to get her used to it. She was unsure about the whole deal and was holding on for dear life the whole time. We went on a few more rides, enjoyed the scenery, and went for a couple picnic lunches. Now she has her own jacket, helmet, and gloves that she wears when we ride, and it's impossible to keep her off the back on nice days. She's comfortable around all turns, and I'm comfortable handing her a helmet and telling her to hop on. We have our own signals and she can finally feel what the bike does and doesn't fight it. I'll say bye I'm going for a ride, and the first response is almost always, can I come?

So I guess the best technique would be to ask her to humor you and go for a ride around a neighborhood because you want to share something you enjoy with her. If she likes it, make it a social thing and go for some just you guys time, if not, then at least you both gave it a fair shot.

[Firehorse]

Sometimes, after a ride, let her know that you wished she was there. Leave it at that.

The Bigger Half never showed any interest in riding until I let him know that I didn't buy my bike to get 'me' time only, I would also enjoy 'us' time. Now he wants a bike. He was afraid to show too much interest because he worried that it would be like moving in on my mental joy territory.

Good luck!

[akima]

Enjoying reading this thread.

I thought up a little ploy that might work, though it's costly and lengthy.

Step 1. Start by buying her an electric bicycle. Get one that slightly resembles a scooter and has storage (like a basket). She could use it for quick trips to the shops and things.

(Perhaps something less gaudy )

Step 2. Get a scooter for yourself but insure her on it too. Buy her a helmet for wearing on the scooter. She might see that it's only a short step up from her electric bicycle. "What's the harm?" she might think. "It's just a slightly bigger engine and provides the convenience of travelling longer distances with less effort and more speed".

Step 3. Ride the scooter yourself but get her to be a pillion. Could be good fun.

Step 4. Buy her a bit more gear for protection on the "scooter". A nice protective jacket and gloves.

Step 4. She is now primed for this final step. Pillion on your Ninjette! You can say that the Ninjette isn't even that much more powerful than the scooter, she's ridden pillion with you before AND she has all the protective gear.

What do ya think?! Fiendishly and deviously clever or... unlikely?

[reaubideux]

Thanks for all the responses and advice. I was hoping to talk to her last night but she had a long day (flew home from a business trip to Miami) and missed our kids so she wanted to spend time with them, kids were acting up and taking all our attention and by the time we got some "us" time, it wasn't exactly the first thing on my mind.

Paulette, I'm more trying to convince her to get past the fear/dis-interest of the bike than convince her to ride against her will. She knows what can happen on these things and I know that she'd trust me to not do anything intentionally dangerous or risky. If I waited for her to let me know when she's ready then I'd never hear from her about it.

Hoping to talk to her about it tonight. Planning on just telling her it's something I'd like to possibly share with her on occasion and ask her to humor me to the point of just sitting on the bike with me in the garage, not even starting it at all, if she's comfortable with that then we'll talk about just putting around the neighborhood - after borrowing my dad's helmet and gloves - and go from there.

Just to provide some closure to this thread, I'll post up what happens... hopefully, my follow-up won't be a closing post but the start of something new for both of us to enjoy.

[Blackwidow]

well good luck to you!

Usually fear and dis-interest comes from lack of knowledge of the "hobby". I use to feel the same way until my now finance has proved to me he's a careful rider and he take every precausion to make it a safe ride. He was the first person to give me a ride on his bike....after the first ride and me noticing how he really is paying attention to EVERYTHING around him, it made me trust him more and more eventually i fell in love with bikes too and gained interest in riding. And today, i'm a proud owner of a sexy hot red 2010 Kawi ninja!

[miss_syn]

You might want to invest in a better passenger seat if you want to convince her. >.>

[Havok]

All you have to do is get her on it once. She will either love it or hate it. Remember some people have control issues when it comes to these things. I know that sharon is way more comfortable riding then being on the back. Its not that she feels i wont be safe as she trusts me to ride with her daughter riding 2 up.

I think your best option is to go to a parking lot and have her follow you there in a car and ride around the lot with her on the back. It will let her get a feel for riding, being on it with you yet eliminates any stress she may have of cars or traffic. I did this with Sharons daughter. I also used the time to go over how she should respond in situations, we did emergency braking, swerves, take offs normal stops and lots and lots of turns.

You have not ridden two up so this would be good practice for you and you can tell her that. She will see that you are taking her safety as your primary concern.

[choneofakind]

yeah definitely practice the panic stops with her. I practiced those with my girlfriend on board and I'm really glad I did. The bike feels so different, and on top of that, she didn't realize it would be so violent of a stop.

[reaubideux]

So, I asked her....yeah, it was comical at how fast she said "nope, don't want to."

Really kinda bummed about it as we really don't have any common hobbies but I knew better than to persist and try the "just humor me" angle, she was quick and concise about not wanting to try it at all. I just let it go. Guess I need to start looking for a biker girlfriend who just wants to be my ride buddy.

[ally99]

LOL! Yeah, now THAT would go over well, I'm sure!

[LoD575]

My wife is eager for wanting to ride as a passenger but will refuse to learn how to ride.
We have already started looking at gear for her.

[mrcrunch]

Originally Posted by reaubideux

So, I asked her....yeah, it was comical at how fast she said "nope, don't want to."

Really kinda bummed about it as we really don't have any common hobbies but I knew better than to persist and try the "just humor me" angle, she was quick and concise about not wanting to try it at all. I just let it go. Guess I need to start looking for a biker girlfriend who just wants to be my ride buddy.

See, you're coming around. Half way to step 1.

Honestly, the closest my wife has come to getting on is when I mentioned a neighbor wife wanted a ride. It still hasn't happened though (neighbor wifes or my own).

[mrlmd]

Take her to an MSF course and get her to ride on her own, at least for those 2 days so she understands and can appreciate what's going on.
Then get her her own bike.