September 10th, 2013, 08:16 AM | #1 |
Girly Gearhead <3
Name: Brittany
Location: Florida
Join Date: Jun 2013 Motorcycle(s): Kawasaki Ninja 300 Posts: 129
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10 things they never tell you about becoming a motorcyclist
originally published right here:
Stuff no one else has told you about becoming a biker. 1. Bees & Animals Bees are a pretty innocuous creature, so long as they’re in the backyard. Sure, if you hassle them, you might get stung, but in general, they leave you alone if you leave them alone. Get on a motorcycle, though, and the humble bee is transformed into a weapon of mass destruction. At anything over 10mph, a bee in the face/neck/any exposed body part will feel — and this isn’t an exaggeration at all — like you’ve just been shot with a rubber bullet. And, in its final throes, the bee will sting you. Probably in the face, because it’s trapped inside your helmet. All of that takes place while you’re attempting to operate a relatively complex machine in busy traffic with absolutely nowhere to pull over safely. Bees have also evolved the extraordinary ability to find gaps in your waterproof, hermetically sealed riding suit that nothing else, not even a drop of water, can penetrate. The bee will always find a way. Normally, it’s around your neck, plunging down your chest and stinging you as many times as possible before your frantic self flagellation manages to squash it. But sometimes, it’ll find its way in around your waistband, then proceed to sting you on the genitalia. Really, this does happen and likely will happen at some point in your riding career. Car drivers will pass by flummoxed by the odd, gear-clad person frantically stripping on the roadside while hopping around with a swollen face. Animals, too, have been put on this planet for the specific purpose of performing Kamikaze missions on passing motorcyclists. In rural areas, deer will wait in the roadside undergrowth, listening for the approach of a bike. At the very last second, when it’s far too late for you to take evasive action, they’ll fling themselves into your path, or maybe just leap straight for your head. Even domestic animals like to get in on the act. Cats will test your reflexes by bolting from underneath cars to underneath your wheels. Dogs will feel it’s their duty to hunt you down. 2. You’re Now An Expert Meteorologist Forget the TV weatherman, you’re going to develop a better ability to read weather radar maps, cloud formations and wind patterns than anyone with an actual degree in the field. And that’s because the weather is now absolutely critical to your day-to-day life. Can you make it home from work before the storm hits? If so, what’s your latest time of departure, chosen route and necessary average speed to make that possible? Will it dip below freezing on your commute tonight? If so, should you pack your heated gloves or is the ride short enough for simply your heavy duty winter ones? Is the rain today going to be light, meaning you can get away with leather or heavy, meaning you need that Bibendum suit? Slicks, road tires, intermediates or full wets at the track day next week? You’d better know for sure, because that deposit is non refundable and it takes four days for tires to arrive. 3. Say Goodbye To A and B Before you had a motorcycle, you always tried to find the quickest and most direct way to get around. In a car or truck, it was efficient and practical to do so. Now that you have a bike, you’ll be willing to go 100 miles out of your way to visit a store or restaurant that has the same stuff as the one in your neighborhood. You’ll find yourself with entire States between you and home, amongst strangers and in strange places that you never knew existed, just because. You’ll tell your family you’re just going out for a quick ride, then return hours, sometimes days later, not entirely sure where you have been. And it won’t matter, because you were riding. 4. Manholes, Paint and Tar Snakes Utility companies go around placing large, slick metal plates in the road, precisely where motorcyclists need to ride or, in intersections, put their foot down. In the dry, that’s no big deal. But, in the rain? A wet manhole (no snickering, please) becomes a deadly skating rink. Put a foot on one and your boot instantly slips, meaning you’ll drop your bike. Hit one while turning and you’ll be laying on the ground. Road markings take on a new life in the wet, too. Nearly as slippery as manhole covers, they can make the back end of your bike weave around as the tire hunts for traction. Even under the gentlest of acceleration. And then there are tar snakes: cracks in the road filled with liquid tar. In the winter, that tar freezes and becomes strips of black ice. In the summer, it melts and feels pretty much the same. The cracks they’re installed to patch tend to be in the heaviest sections of wear on the road. You know, like the apex of a corner or downhill, approaching a corner, where you want to be braking. They couldn’t have been designed to catch you by surprise any better. 5. Friends & Strangers So scrimped and saved to buy your first bike, and now your friends are going to want in on the action too. No, not by going out and buying their own, but using your new pride and joy. Most are just going to want to pose for a new Facebook profile picture on it, but some are going to swear riding competency and want to take it around the block. Don’t let them, they’ll inevitably return holding only a par of (now detached) handlebars and a story about how it’s not their fault. Complete strangers will start approaching you, too. Normally old men, who will want to recount stories of the old Triumph or Norton they once rode. They’ll tell how your bike reminds them of it. Well, until they realize your bike is Japanese, at which point they’ll look shocked and walk away. 6. You Become A Better Car Driver Before you bought your bike, you were content to be a sheep. You’d complain, of course, other people’s driving was never as good as your own, but you were seemingly powerless to do anything about it. You just say stuck in the flow, merrily texting and tailgating away. But now that you’ve ridden a bike? You’re suddenly hyper aware. Not just of the risks and the bad driving and that nasty pothole six corners ahead, requiring a specific line begun now to avoid, but of the utter ridiculousness of it all. That guy in the $100,000 Porsche? What a poseur, that thing is slow. That guy driving the eight-passenger SUV all by himself? How unnecessary. All these thousands of people sitting in a traffic jam? That’s it, this car’s going on Craigslist. 7. Waving Etiquette Visit any forum and you’ll find novel-length screeds on the rights and wrongs of whome you should acknowledge while out on your motorcycle, and how. Should you wave at people on scooters? Will that thug on the sportsbike come chasing after you should you fail to salute? Do cruiser riders count? You could spend every moment of your ride waving at anyone and everything, which is just mental. It’s probably best just to get on with the task in hand and ride your bike. Unless you see another riding unwittingly approaching a speeding trap, in which case it’s your sacred duty to tap the top of your helmet. Got that? 8. Working On Your Bike Your new motorcycle likely came with an owner’s manual, full of specifications, technical drawing and suggestions on how to not end up with a worthless pile of parts stacked up in your driveway. You can see engine and all of the important bits and how hard can changing your oil be, anyways? Take the time to read up about any work you want to do online, talk to knowledgeable friends and spend some money on acquiring the correct tools. And yeah, it’s not that hard. There’s no obligation to take your bike to an authorized dealer and working on it yourself won’t invalidate your warranty, provided you don’t screw it up. If you don’t, you’ll end up with an enormous sense of accomplishment, along with fresh oil. 9. Your Bike Is Stronger Than You Think Oh my god, you hit the rev limiter! Forgot to adjust the chain! Your tires are 2psi off! Relax. Your motorcycle is a lot tougher than you would think. It’s a highly capable feat of modern engineering and, part of its design process is devoted to making it stand up to your ham fisted abuses. Yes, you can take your bike on a trackday. Yes, you can take it on that weekend road trip. Yes, you can ride it fast and hard and put it away dirty. Your bike’s not going to melt in the rain. 10. The Boogers Probably the least glamorous part of riding a motorcycle is the stuff that’s going to start coming out of your face. Live in a city? You’ll be inhaling so many carbon particulates that your nose will quickly clog up with black goo, then start leaking it down your face. Ride in the cold? Your nose will run the entire time. Kicking the snot off your upper lip will keep it from spreading across the rest of your face, then drying into a crusty mess. After every ride, you’ll blow your nose and it will come out black, brown, yellow and, if you’ve been riding anywhere dusty or around a nasty chemical plant, likely red too. You need to carry a hanky and you’ll need to wash that hanky every couple of days, because you will be using it, heavily. Look forward to explaining that no, you don’t have a cold to first dates.
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". . .No, it's not his. Care to demonstrate your ignorance again?" Last futzed with by Alex; September 10th, 2013 at 08:31 AM. Reason: added source link |
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September 10th, 2013, 09:09 AM | #2 |
Your face
Name: Wes
Location: SF Bay Area
Join Date: Jul 2013 Motorcycle(s): 2014 Honda CBR650f Posts: A lot.
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Don't forget, louder pipes does NOT = bigger wiener
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September 10th, 2013, 09:32 AM | #3 |
crash 250, get supersport
Name: Richard
Location: San Diego, CA
Join Date: Apr 2010 Motorcycle(s): 2010 250R SE (Sold 6/9/14), 2009 ZX-6R (Sold 6/25/14), Subaru BRZ Posts: A lot.
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Great post, Brittany.
After having a bee fly into my jacket through the collar and sting my chest while on the freeway as I was punching my chest like Tarzan, I now know that I am not allergic to bee stings and that those things are ****ing scary. |
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September 10th, 2013, 09:41 AM | #4 |
ninjette.org sage
Name: Tony
Location: Buford, GA
Join Date: Mar 2012 Motorcycle(s): '14 Honda NC700X; '14 Honda CRF250L; '07 Lifan 200 Posts: 623
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Great re-post! I kept finding myself saying, yep, yep, so true, yep, yep, so true, yep, yep, yep, gross yes! HAHAHA!! Thanks for a good read.
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September 10th, 2013, 10:08 AM | #5 |
Daily Ninjette rider
Name: Hernan
Location: Florida
Join Date: Mar 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2007 Ninja 250 Posts: A lot.
MOTY - 2016, MOTM - Dec '12, Jan '14, Jan '15, May '16
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11. Many people will try to explain to you how stupid and irresponsible you are and why. 12. You will be able to read cagers' minds and forecast that dumb move into your path. 13. You will feel the urge of teaching new riders how to ride better safely and how to repair their bikes by themselves.
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Motofool .................................Never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly "Mankind is composed of two sorts of men — those who love and create, and those who hate and destroy. Love is the bond between men, the way to teach and the center of the world." - José Martí |
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September 10th, 2013, 10:19 AM | #6 |
Cat herder
Name: Gort
Location: A secret lair which, being secret, has an undisclosed location
Join Date: May 2009 Motorcycle(s): Aprilia RS660 Posts: A lot.
Blog Entries: 6
MOTM - Jul '18, Nov '16, Aug '14, May '13
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14: You will start to instinctively look for gravel and sand washes on roads you frequent, mentally filing their locations for future reference.
15: You will develop a deep and abiding hatred for fresh chip seal. 16: You may start caring less about the state of your hair.
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I am NOT an adrenaline junkie, I'm a skill junkie. - csmith12 Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est. Heri historia. Cras mysterium. Hodie donum est. Carpe diem. |
1 out of 1 members found this post helpful. |
September 10th, 2013, 10:19 AM | #7 |
ninjette.org certified postwhore
Name: Rick
Location: Alexandria, Louisiana
Join Date: Jan 2009 Motorcycle(s): 05 Blue Ninja 250 Posts: Too much.
MOTY - 2017, MOTM - Jan '19, Oct '16, May '14
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Awesome post!
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September 10th, 2013, 12:45 PM | #8 |
Kawi Girl
Name: Heather
Location: Washington
Join Date: Dec 2012 Motorcycle(s): '10 Ninja 250R Green SE, '13 Ninja 636 Pearl White Posts: 245
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They are in the process of chip sealing all the main roads in our city. I can't go anywhere without going on them and they are nasty. Aggregate everywhere. Definitely truth for deep and abiding hatred.
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Perspective: Everything looks better from the inside of a motorcycle helmet |
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September 11th, 2013, 02:58 PM | #9 |
ninjette.org certified postwhore
Name: Spooph
Location: Golden, CO
Join Date: Jul 2010 Motorcycle(s): '08 Ninja 250R Posts: A lot.
MOTM - Oct '15
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awesome post!
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My therapist has 2 wheels and a seat. If you are ever in doubt to my tone, please refer to my avatar. |
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September 11th, 2013, 03:36 PM | #10 |
Certified looney toon
Name: Teri
Location: 39°52'40.7"N 118°23'53.8"W (Northern NV)
Join Date: Jun 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2012 Ninja 250, 102k+ miles -- 2014 CB500X, 42k+ miles Posts: A lot.
Blog Entries: 16
MOTM Jul '13, Jul '14
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Ugh, I've been stung right in my neck on a long twisty road, that is the worst feeling! I've also had moths/locusts (not sure which) swarm in front of me and one of them crawled up into my helmet and settled into my ear beating it's wings furiously! ACK!
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<-- Linky Hey Unregistered! The code [you] shows the username currently logged in. IBA # 56020 AMA # 521481 Fun Rides! ][ My Videos ][ My Gear Hold yourself to the same rules you expect others to follow. |
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September 11th, 2013, 03:55 PM | #11 |
ninjette.org certified postwhore
Name: Murphey
Location: Eastern Washington
Join Date: Apr 2011 Motorcycle(s): 2002 Honda 919, 2004 Ninja 500R NAKED Posts: A lot.
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September 11th, 2013, 04:09 PM | #12 |
Certified looney toon
Name: Teri
Location: 39°52'40.7"N 118°23'53.8"W (Northern NV)
Join Date: Jun 2012 Motorcycle(s): 2012 Ninja 250, 102k+ miles -- 2014 CB500X, 42k+ miles Posts: A lot.
Blog Entries: 16
MOTM Jul '13, Jul '14
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Hair, clothes, (in some cases) makeup, personal hygiene...
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<-- Linky Hey Unregistered! The code [you] shows the username currently logged in. IBA # 56020 AMA # 521481 Fun Rides! ][ My Videos ][ My Gear Hold yourself to the same rules you expect others to follow. |
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September 11th, 2013, 07:34 PM | #13 |
I'm crazy,your excuse is?
Name: Winston
Location: Connecticut
Join Date: May 2013 Motorcycle(s): 250 2007 ninja Posts: A lot.
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personal hygiene- is there a certain bike commuter scent? That is my worry about getting to work all stank from the AM ride in.-Asides from getting killed that is...
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